A Day without Talking

It is dark here until 8 am and I do not think I have ever in my life looked forward to the time changing, but I am this year. Driving to work last week in 30 degree dark was making it feel like the dead of winter already.

My new boss started last Monday and she is really nice, a smart, intuitive kind of nice, which is just great. At the same time, the spinning top was out of control the entire week. I went to talk to my new boss about it finally on Thursday and she gave me a hug. I spent the entire day with my old boss trying to avoid her, and now I get a hug. The difference was too remarkable.

All this reading about mythology and the inner feminine was making dealing with the spinning top pretty weird. I've seen plenty of women causing chaos to deflect attention from themselves, but I have never witnessed the one who causes chaos in order to attract attention to herself, unpacking groceries, slamming drawers, nail filing, coughing, sighing, yawning, blowing nose, interrupting every conversation I tried to have in my office. It took all of my energy to ignore her and not comment on the excuse for the tantrum, which was clear on Monday due to some angry phone calls.

Some one told me she was on medication and I think that it is sad that we don't treat people anymore, we medicate them.

Every week night I spent in some hurry to get ready for winter. I rotated in the rest of the winter clothes and worried about not having the right winter clothes to wear to work. I am lucky that my job is super casual and I wondered about looking for another one, partly because I do not have winter work clothes and winter work clothes are expensive. I bought a winter comforter cover and stored away the summer one. Fortunately, I already went to the laundromat and washed the down comforter.

I really stressed about spending the money on a comforter cover and felt sorry for myself because I am poor and can't buy more winter work clothes. Then I made myself remember all of the things I have that most of the world does not, like a garbage disposal, dishwasher, and a washer and dryer in the house. I saw a commercial the other day for paper towels and they were comparing their paper towel to a rag. I thought that was telling, they were not comparing their paper towel to another paper towel, because now that people don't have any money they are going back to old dishrags and realizing they never needed paper towels. Just like they never needed a Swifter Wet Jet Power mop.

After four days of driving to work in freezing weather, it was a warm sunny weekend. Yesterday I did the yard work, although I did not have to rake leaves yet.

I set the ammo boxes that I used for planters in the ground. This means I had to screw on the lids again, move them off their spot on the grass, and dig a section out of the grass to set in the planters. Boise does not have snails, but they have these giant slugs with spots. Several of these were enjoying the damp under the planters and they are super gross. Once I got the grass dug up, I flipped the planter over, that's the reason for putting the lid back, pulled off half of the bottom of the box, and then flipped it back over and set it on the dirt. I was going to take off the whole bottom, but the box didn't seem like it would hold together. Did I do this without spilling a ton of dirt out of the box? Nope. This took all afternoon, although in the end I got those boxes in perfectly level.

Except for a few minutes talking to my mom on the phone, I went through the entire day on Saturday without talking. I saved my errands for Sunday, so I did not go out. Have you ever gone a day without talking? Do you think you could? For most people it would be like going without TV.

This morning I braved KMart to buy more lamp oil. I hate KMart, but they are the only ones that carry lamp oil. I went early, to beat the crowd, 9 am on Sunday morning should be too early for the KMart crowd, unless they are still up from Saturday night. I bought my lamp oil and rounded out my emergency car supplies, with a crank flashlight, some emergency glow sticks, and a folding shovel. I already put the cat litter back in my car for helping me dig out of snow.

Late this afternoon, I tried to go out and get some more pictures of fall color, but I was pretty unsuccessful. The other parks have too many obstructions, cars and people, for any shots better than the ones I took last year at Katherine Albertson Park. I am amazed at the color here, the most mundane street is lined with orange and gold and green trees and the most neglected house still has a remarkable tree in front. Here are the trees downtown in the WinCo parking lot,



Here is the Boise River, looking calm,


When I got home, I did get treated to one of those great Idaho fall trees on fire sunsets,



Someday I will find a place to get a picture of this that does the event justice.

A woman at work said that once there was thunder and lightning and snow in Boise, now that would be a sight.

Tomorrow is Halloween and Boise really likes Halloween. There is a chili cook-off at work and I sacrificed some of my blueberry storage and made blueberry corn bread to bring. I'm just going to wear my elf ears and I can't imagine what the attention-seeker is going to come up with.

Winter and Falling Stars

Last weekend, Sarah convinced me that pulling up frozen plants in the cold would be worse than pulling up healthy ones, so I pulled them up last Sunday afternoon and pruned the cucumber down to a few short branches. This was just in time, since this morning what was left of the cucumber was brown and shriveled. Last year it turned winter overnight when the time changed in November. This year it turned winter overnight today.

Tonight they are predicting a hard freeze.

Q: What exactly is a hard freeze?

A: There are several types of freezes, explains Brent McRoberts of Texas A&M University, and they are classified according to their severity. "In general terms, a hard freeze occurs when the air temperature is 26 degrees or lower for at least four hours. Because of the cold temperatures, it usually means that many types of plants and most seasonal vegetation will be destroyed."

Q: What are the other types of freezes?

A: A light freeze occurs when the temperature gets between 29 to 32 degrees, and this kind of freeze can kill tender plants but not harm others, McRoberts adds. "A moderate freeze occurs at 25 to 28 degrees and this can destroy most types of vegetation, especially fruit plants. All freezes are tough on plants, but a hard freeze is the worst. It is often called a 'killing freeze’ because it kills most of the plants affected.

My street tree still has leaves, but I bet I am raking all of them up this weekend. I thought my neighbor, Kurt, got carried away pruning his tree that is next to my backyard fence, but it turns out he was getting ready to chop it down. Now my yard feels really exposed for winter, although I do have an unobstructed view of the starry sky.

On the way to work this morning I saw a falling star. I thought it might more likely be a piece of that missing satellite from last week, but I made a wish anyway. It may have been part of the Orionids meteor shower that I knew nothing about until I tried to look up what it was that I saw this morning. Ever heard of the Orionid meteor shower? Me neither. It is dust released by Halley's Comet,

http://meteorshowersonline.com/orionids.html

Here is the third study of fall in Katherine Albertson Park,


I like the first and third the best. I thought the second one got a bit too dramatic which translated into busy. I'm thinking of moving on to larger versions of those two soon, while some of the inspiring color is still around.

I did not get the flannel sheets yet, I was so sick of them by February last year that I thought I would stall. I did decide to bleach the black comforter cover for winter. I thought I would like it better dark grey. It turned orange with black splotches. Not a good look for any time of year. The bleach fumes also filled the house. Do not use a large amount of bleach when it is too cold to open a window.

Lake Cascade and McCall

Mom corrects me, it is Alexander that had the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day. Harold is the one with the purple crayon, which makes me wonder if Harold is now politically incorrect, trying to draw his world, might make kids want to draw on the walls.

Boise drivers may be the best in America, but outside of Boise everyone is driving a Ford F150 and on their way to a fire. The drive from Boise to McCall could not have been more beautiful, but I seemed to be the only one who wanted to drive slow enough to see it. It is 100 miles north to McCall. I stopped to take pictures so much that it took me all day and the pictures do not really do the scenery justice.

This is on the way, around Banks, I think,




Funny, that second picture is of an RV Park, pretty nice RV Park. That is part of the Payette River.

This is on the way,




This is McCall and just around McCall,








Just after I got to McCall, it started to gloom over and then rain. I don't know if it was the weather, but the town really was deserted for a Saturday afternoon. McCall is at 5,000 feet elevation and it was significantly colder in McCall than Boise. There is the usual cute, small downtown, but I only went in one store that had sheepskins. I imagined myself with a fluffy sheepskin rug and tried on some sheepskin gloves, but didn't buy anything. The gloomy weather is better for picture taking and I thought I should go out and take advantage of it.

I headed back and took a side trip over to the north end of Lake Cascade,









I had a bit of trouble making my way back to the highway from this side trip, but it was worth it. Lake Cascade divides into two on its north end and I was in between the two forks, so I had to go north in order to go back east to the highway and then south and I had water on both sides, very confusing. On this trip I stopped at a few state parks, including one on the north end of Lake Cascade, but they were all unmanned and I did not see one other person or one other car at any of them, which started to feel eerie.

And this is along the Payette River again, on my way home,



As I got closer to home, there was a forest products checkpoint, although the trooper just waved me on. I don't know if they were looking for trucks full of firewood or evidence of illegal hunting, but I guess I did not look like I had either. On my trip I also saw one forest fire off in the distance and many people burning leaves. Driving around Idaho looking at fall color on a cold day is even better with the smell of burning leaves.

It is a beautiful day in Boise today and it is hard to imagine we will get to freezing at night this week. Last chance to mow the lawn, but I don't think I will, and I can't get myself to pull up the green peppers, either. They have flowers on them, they want to have more peppers! I'm not sure which is more traumatic, pulling up green plants with flowers, or pulling up frozen, wilted plants that just a few days earlier were green with flowers. I don't think this is an issue that should bother a farm girl.

Flies and Steelhead

Yesterday I went to the dentist and had two metal fillings replaced, then I came home in time for a nap, which I didn't get because both cats were howling at me, Spit must have had a stomach ache, which I kept having to clean up after, then the shots wore off and my mouth hurt so I did not feel like doing much, then I went to bed and got bit by something on the tip of my finger, which is now swollen. Yesterday could have been a page out of Harold and the No Good, Terrible, Very Bad Day, except that was the most pleasant trip to the dentist I've ever had.

Two fillings, two shots and no pain. Not once did that whirring drill hurt. I got to see a picture of one of my teeth with the old filling off and before the new filling and it looked pretty bad. Two fillings down, two more to go. This is something I've wanted for ten years and I am thrilled to be getting it done. Even farm girls should have teeth.

This year has been a bad year in Idaho for flies. I thought I noticed it was worse this year, I keep killing them in the house, but I leave the back door open for the cats much of the time and so I thought it was my own fault, but I read about the bad fly year in the paper this week. People can guess at the reason, but who knows, and in another few weeks it will be too cold for flies. Spiders like to eat flies and I think this is a bad spider year also, which made me concerned enough about my bite on my finger to look up spider bites. It's not a black widow bite, you have to seek out black widows, they don't come looking for you in your bed, and it's not a brown recluse bite, or I would be in real pain by now and my finger would be eroding. Those are the only two you really have to worry about in the US, I probably just have a bad mosquito bite.

Who knows if it is related to the excessive amount of flies, but the fishing season this year is excellent. It is about time for the anglers to be out, but it is an excellent year for Steelhead. You can get the full report here,

http://fishandgame.idaho.gov/public/fish/?getPage=232

Check out the Steelhead Harvest Report and the extensive angler guides, what a crack up. I think I will check out the learn to fish section, they have a part on cleaning a fish which seems like something a farm girl should know. A guy at work took his two sons hunting last weekend and had a permit to shoot two deer, one for each son, but did not end up shooting anything. He said it was pretty crowded. He saw a black bear though. It was moving fast, but fortunately not in his direction.

I started another study of fall in Katherina Albertson Park and this week I went to work, came home, went for a walk, painted, and then started re-reading Johnson's book We, which as more about spirituality in it than I remembered. Johnson talks about needing an inner life and the need for spiritually being a strong unconscious need. I honestly go to work now and that feels like the unreal part of my life and my inner life where I paint and read and cook and clean feels real. I suppose that it is good that I have to go to work and interact with other people, but what I see at work and what read in the news today makes no sense to me.

I arranged all of my best paintings on one page by month as if I was going to do an Idaho calendar and there are a few months that are missing, and a few that are over-represented, like October. Even though I have plenty of material, the fall color is really started here and I think I will go up to Lake Cascade and McCall this weekend. The fall color should be is full swing in McCall.

Mary Jane's Farm

When picking the second to the last cucumber last week in the early evening, I discovered what Cruiser and Spit must be hop, hop, hopping after at night in the grass. It is frogs! The one I saw was little as brown as dirt. You would think my cats could catch those, but I'm sure all the fun is in the chase.

Yesterday morning I got up first thing and started that painting I said I would do for Mary Kay. That is how I get done those things I resist, start them first thing in the morning before I have time to think about them. By 10 am I really hated it, but decided to try to push through it. By 11:30 I still hated it and gave up. I tried, but what she gave me to work from is really not my style and I tried to treat it like an experiment, but it was one of those loose graphic primitive watercolors and those are really harder than you think. I am sorry it took me so long to try it and to admit I don't want to do it. Now I have to call Mary Kay and ask her if she can chose from something I already have.

So by noon I am traumatized by wasting half of my Saturday on this really ugly, spiritless painting, besides wasting a quarter sheet of paper, so I thought I better quick do something I like and get over it. This is another study of Katherine Alberson Park last autumn,



Today I whipped that ugly painting off the board and into the trash and stretched another sheet of paper. The trash man will come tomorrow and that painting will be nothing but a bad memory.

My friend sent me a link to Mary Jane's Farm,

http://www.maryjanesfarm.org/

I want to go to farm school! The one week intensive includes food preservation, seed saving, chopping wood, I can even learn how to start a bee hive. I would stay in an outdoor tent, like they use for their Bed and Breakfast, check out the B&B pictures. It just sounds super. Mary Jane's farm is in Paloose, Washington, that is just north of Moscow, Idaho. The University of Idaho is in Moscow, which is six hours north of Boise. I think University of Idaho has an extensive agricultural program and they also have a large arts program, much bigger than BSU. For now I guess I will just subscribe to the magazine. Thanks, Darcy, for the tip.

It would have been better if I agonized over that painting today, since yesterday was nice and sunny and today it has been dismal and raining all day. The sun should be back out tomorrow in time for me to go to work.

Cherry Blossoms

When getting over artist's block, flowers are a good choice. Flowers are forgiving, you can make lots of mistakes and they can not turn out like you planned at all, but still look good,


I think these are flowering cherry and the trees were spectacular last May.

In my adult life I do not think I've been to the same dentist more than twice, except in Vegas, when I actually had dental insurance for six years in a row. No one likes going to the dentist, but after at least four years of not having my teeth cleaned, I was pretty excited to go last Monday. Since I have such long breaks between dentists, I am always amazed at how much dentistry has advanced while I was gone. This time I left with before and after pictures of the back of my bottom front teeth, before cleaning and after cleaning. I suppose that is so the hygienist can show off. I also left with pictures of my two cavities and all of my metal fillings that need replacing. The metal fillings have cracks in the teeth under them and one is supposedly about to crack off part of my tooth. That one needs half a crown and is not covered by insurance, but I get to go back and have the rest done quick, while I am insured.

Today was my boss's last day at work. Of course, not that that worry is over, I am on to other worries. I am temporary and can only work so many hours as temporary which gets me to mid-January. We are under the Feds and there is a hiring freeze, which does not look like it will let up soon. I am also tired of financially just getting by. But Boise is a small town, if I start applying for other jobs, my current job will know. Would they understand? I also like the office and the administrator and that is hard to find. I am feeling conflicted and wondering why I can't just enjoy the absence of my old boss for a few days. Or maybe I don't get to just stay in one job, but am meant to go from job to job, eliminating bad bosses, like Kung Fu.

The Trolley House and Hell, Michigan

My very busy friends wanted to meet for breakfast at 8 am this morning. Way to early to get up and be somewhere on a Sunday. This is the Trolley House,


It was small and old time looking inside and they have a patio, although we are past patio weather. We were the first ones there at 8 am, but the place was almost packed by the time we left at 9:30. After eating fresh made butter, buttermilk pancakes yesterday, and eggs benedict this morning, I can feel my arteries hardening as I sit here. I had one of the last cucumbers for dinner.

Sarah gave me free tickets to the Fall Harvest Festival at the Idaho Botanical garden. This includes the Scarecrow Stroll, where people built scarecrows and you go around and vote for your favorite. I went this afternoon, but I did not vote on any scarecrows, they were really lame.









Some of the flowers were still looking good, though, I was surprised. The English garden was really done, but there was metal work like the tower in the English Garden all through the gardens. That is the Old Idaho Penitentiary in the background, with that low wall and tower you can believe how many escaped. The lederhosen guy was having a pretty good time, despite the outfit. Sarah says she liked the Fall Festival better when it was an Oktoberfest, maybe the outfit is left over from that event. I bought some fresh salsa, I miss salsa, you can't go to a cheap Mexican restaurant in Idaho and still get great salsa like you can in So Cal. It was a beautiful day to be out, not too many more left.

This is probably the last weekend for garden chores. I turned off the auto sprinklers a week ago and I mowed the lawn for the last time today. The green peppers are looking wilty, but I am leaving the vegetables alone until they really freeze, which will probably only be a week or two. Sarah gave me some of her last raspberries.

The sudden temperature and season change is making me super tired, and all I wanted to do was go home and drink hot tea, but I went out last Thursday after work anyway to a charity event at the Elks Rehab, which is an art show of work done by some of their patients. Two did work in glass, which was nice, and there was one watercolor artist who is paralyzed from the shoulders down, whose work was nice also. The event made me sure I do not have any reason to be unhappy. Boise people are big on supporting charity and they bought up most of the work by the time I left.

Yesterday I rotated my clothes. Summer put away, fall and winter pulled out. There are always those things that I pull out that I am really happy to see, oh yea, I remember this sweater. I pulled out my red coat to go to that charity event because it was still raining, and I tell ya, I did not feel happy to see that red coat. It just has not been long enough since I last wore it.

At breakfast my friend said, take a good look at Shelly's neck because pretty soon you are not going to see it and you will forget she has one. For the first five months that she knew me I was always wearing a turtleneck (and that red coat). Perhaps I will be more hearty this year.

Oh yea, I almost forgot, a woman at work has a summer house in Hell, Michigan. We asked her why they call it Hell, which everyone who lives there must get all the time, but here is the good for Halloween story,

http://www.hell2u.com/content/long-history-hell-mi

Making Butter

Some Idaho bear humor,


The temperature plummet happened in one day, by Tuesday night early evening it was in the low 50's. My friend called me, "What are you wearing?" She said in her most sultry voice. "A thermal, sweat pants, and I am about to put on warm socks," was my reply. Pretty sexy stuff. She knew I would be caught off guard by the early cold. I asked her what she thought the difference was between laziness and resting. She thought it was your attitude. We are going to have breakfast on Sunday morning with another friend recently diagnosed with cancer. We are going to the Trolley House on Warm Springs, one of those very old Boise great place for breakfast places.

http://www.thetrolleyhouse.com/

Today I do not think it made it to 50 degrees. Both cats run outside and wonder why I closed the door behind them and then want to come right back in again. Then Spit remembers, oh, this is the time of year when I get insistent about my evening brushing.

Did you know you can make your own butter? I read it in the Idaho Statesman last week, that is the kind of thing they write about in the Idaho Statesman. I thought you had to have a butter churn and that it took hours. I do not eat lots of butter, but it is one of those things I have to have enough of in the fridge. Making it yourself is not a cost saver, unless you have a dairy cow, but making it was really fun. Two cups of cream makes one cup of butter and about half a cup of buttermilk. I used a food processor, but you can use a jar with a lid and supposedly it does not take much longer. I'm processing and the cream turns to whipped, then to really thick whipped and I'm wondering how long this is going to take and maybe this won't work and all of sudden the butter separates out from the buttermilk, like magic. The buttermilk is thinner than I thought it would be, I'm saving that for pancakes this weekend. Then I washed the butter in ice water until the water comes clean. It is light colored, no yellow die, and it tastes really light, like butter you can have in a really nice restaurant. I had some on toasted raisin bread that I made last weekend for this occasion and everything was right with the world.

They had free flu shots at work this week. Me and the used-to-be-pregnant girl seemed like the only ones that did not get our free shot. Her opinion was that we would be the only two left that would not turn into zombies, she is in to zombie movies and knows all about what to do if confronted with one. Honestly, she is more of a conspiracy theorist than me and I am sure she's done enough research on immunizing her kids to have a negative opinion about flu shots. My doctor gave me a hard time about not having one two years ago, but I said I can't remember the last time I had the flu. She said don't cry to me when you get the flu, and I didn't because I did not get the flu. All you need is a strong immune system and I'm pretty sure a flu shot is not good for your immune system. And speaking of getting something for free, who is really paying for that free shot? The Feds? Even better reason not to get one.

My boss quit this morning. You can't imagine how difficult it was not to jump up for joy. She got another job with the state where she will supervise ten people. God, help them. In a way I thought she got off easy, now she will not have to take responsibility for terrorizing me, but this way is just fine.

The King's Garden

When overcoming artist's block, it is important to start with something familiar and something you are a bit excited about. Do not start your life-defining piece and do not start with that painting that you don't really want to do, but think that you should, which probably caused the block in the first place. I started with something I thought would be fun but familiar first thing yesterday morning and painted half of the day until I finished the background, which is about 3/4 of the painting. What a relief.

It is warm today, but the temperature is set to plummet 30 degrees to a predicted high of 54 on Wednesday. I can feel my air pressure change headache coming on already. The cold temps should be enough to start the dramatic fall color changes, then we get back into the 70s for the weekend.

I do not know if it is the change of seasons, or the spirit of that Hebrew still floating around, but the animals all around are busy and loud. The squirrels are fighting and running back and forth across the fence, alley cats I've never heard before are fighting in the alley, dogs that I've never heard before are barking half of the day. Tia does not bark much, but neighbors moved in next door to her and the neighbors have a kid and a dog. The kid plays with his dog and poor Tia runs back and forth across the fence wanting to play and barking nonstop. Then my neighbors cats decided I am their friend again, since I fed them for four days, and they keep coming over into Cruiser's yard. Cruiser caught Pierre in our garage the other night and kicked his butt, something Cruiser was immensely pleased about for the rest of the evening, but the next day Pierre was right back trying to get into the yard. I came home from work, and there is Cookster in my backyard, with Cruiser having a fit on the inside of the door. Cookster wouldn't go out the gate, he just hissed at Cruiser and hopped the fence.

Almost makes me wish for winter.

I don't know why it took me so long to read those Robert Johnson books. I reread She, The Fisher King, and The Handless Maiden. The Handless Maiden included a part where I went, oh duh, and I could hear my friend Darcy reminding me to rest.

I want to start with a disclaimer here, the mythology is about the inner feminine and inner masculine, both men and women have both. I'm also not going to try to retell too much of the myth, take a look at Johnson's books, they include great background and interpretation, or find them somewhere else, the myth in She is the myth of Eros and Psyche.

The Fisher King is the familiar myth of the knight who goes looking for the Holy Grail to heal the wounded King, travels far and wide searching and slaying dragons on the way, only to find out that it was right where he started, he just needs to ask the right question, Whom does the Grail serve? The masculine healing story is about a journey in consciousness. The Kingdom of God is in you. Interesting that the story of masculine healing is so simple, although it requires courage. It is also interesting that another version of the myth, originating from the same period of time, is the King Arthur myth, and in that myth there are two women who represent the inner feminine gone very wrong, Guenevere and Morgan, no one finds the Grail and the Kingdom is lost. In the masculine myth the knight doesn't seem to need much help from women, but he is warned to stay away from the bad ones.

The general inner feminine myth of Psyche is very complicated, it includes many tasks and levels and Psyche has to be careful not too stay too long on any level and she also needs to follow masculine direction, sorry, but logic and focus are male traits. That complicated dream that you have with lots of levels and people and tasks? That is an inner feminine dream. I had one over and over years ago that started with me trying to hide my daughter from danger and then going to look for a way out. There were many rooms at different levels and people with cranes building things and and one point I entered a hall with something like a fashion show going on and the hall was full of beautiful people and clothes and the designer was trying to get me to stay. That is the Persephone level, where Persephone tries to keep me with her living on my outer beauty alone. How many people do you know stuck on this level? At the end of that dream I go back to find my daughter and send her to safety, but I can't find her.

In the myth of the Handless Maiden, the miller sells his daughter's hands to the devil in exchange for the technology to grind more grain. In the miller's defense, he does not do this outright, he just isn't really paying attention to what the devil says he wants. In a more horrible version, the devil wants the miller's wife's hands, but she offers her daughter's instead. The idea is that the wounded feminine has lost her ability to be useful. The message of the Handless Maiden is that every time you accept something without paying the price, it is trickery and you wound the inner feminine. Promiscuity is a great example, but today the examples are unlimited. Free healthcare, food stamps, our current US President, are more. One good example of someone honoring the inner feminine is Thomas Edison. He paid the price, 1,000 tries it took him to invent the light bulb, no devil dealing or trickery there.

So, now the miller has lots of money for servants to do for the maiden, but she finally leaves in despair, has a good cry, and lives in the forest. In the forest she crosses a treacherous river (which has to be the river Styx/hell) and finds the King's garden, where she rests.

And there it is, that is what I saw in my soul retrieval, the medieval woman with the gyrfalcon (the falcon of Kings) is in the King's garden. Go rest in the King's garden the vision says. In both the Handless Maiden and She the inner feminine sometimes needs to rest, to be quiet, to store up reserves. When I was at my Dad's my friend told me to stop cleaning and rest. Now my Dad's ranch is a great King's garden and a good start, but I'm thinking the King's garden cannot achieve the same purpose when it is also your Dad's garden, something weird for the psyche there. I must have figured Idaho was a good King's garden. Since not much is happening I figure I must not be done with that resting.

Next the King discovers the maiden in his garden (because she is eating his pears, that are carefully cataloged and numbered), marries her, has some silver hands made for her, and for a while she is happy and then she is miserable again. How many people do you know stuck in a life of silver hands, beautiful, but not useful? How many men are out there baffled, but I made you these beautiful hands, why aren't you happy?

The maiden takes her baby and runs off for the forest again, where she has a good cry and rests. She does alright with no hands for a while, until the baby falls into the river and will drown if she doesn't save him and she puts her no hands into the river to save him and comes out with new flesh and blood hands.

The inner feminine is healed by an emergency. She is made useful and she is ready, because she took the time to rest, to build her strength in reserves. This ending has always seemed a bit obscure to me, but Boise is a wonderful place to rest and I really did survive a beating over a long period of time, it is not surprising that the rest period would be long.

Dreams and Symbols

In my dream I am climbing stairs. The stairs are made of white tubing and they are very open to the blue, sunny sky all around me. I can't see the ground, but I don't look down. There are other people climbing, too, but I don't recognize them, except for one person that I recognize, but don't really know. Every so often there is a set of white cushions to rest, but I don't stop and rest, I keep climbing. The stairs are so open, like scaffolding, and I finally slip and fall. As I fall, I see the letters YHVH in white light and something tells me to keep looking at the light and not to be afraid. As I look at the letters they grow brighter and when I hit the ground and I know I am dead it does not hurt and I am enveloped in white light. Then I wake up and am very much alive.

In dreams and in life, there are universal symbols and there are symbols that are specific to you. I can dream about a particular person and sometimes they are just a person and sometimes they represent what that person represents to me.

So, the climbing the stairway to heaven seems like a pretty obvious spiritual journey symbol, as does the tempting white cushions that I do not use. The white letters are an obvious influence of reading The Source, but that I immediately pick this up as a true representative of God is a bit baffling to me.

YHVH is the Ineffable Name or Unutterable Name of the God of Israel.
You can read about YHVH here,
http://www.hebrew4christians.com/Names_of_G-d/YHVH/yhvh.html

Dying in your dream often means the end or death of something, so that something new can start.

Then there has to be the influence of the end of The Power of Now, where Tolle suggests that when we die we have a brief opportunity to look into the light, or to see God, but most people are too unconscious and look away in fear.

Or, maybe the energy of some Hebrew was passing by and found me receptive, since I was feeling a bit joyous and understanding past events and had a hard time falling asleep.

And the guy that I recognized in my dream? I asked someone about him after my dream, since I expected him to have just died, and they said he is living in a home and ready to go join his deceased wife, but he is still living and I just saw him today.

I was too preoccupied with the dream and my terrible boss, so I moved on to easy reading and The Lost Symbol, which I quickly finished, but which just made me feel weirder. It is a fun story with great references to symbols and texts and I like stories about the Knights Templar and the Masons, but the story was so strikingly masculine where the main woman character was really a dope. (This opinion reminds me of my Dad's opinion of the movie Contact which was that the most implausible thing about the movie was believing Jodie Foster was a heterosexual.)

There is all of this technology, all of these puzzles, protecting the Ancient Mysteries. Technology is masculine. Then there is this smart, successful woman from an old Mason family who sits right across from the bad guy having tea and nothing tells her to get away? A woman with no intuition, no inner feminine whatsoever. Then there is all this stuff about the Ancient Mysteries revealing the true power of the mind. The Kingdom of God is in my mind? A masculine idea again.

Does Dan Brown have any women in his life? He needs to go over and ask Elmore Leonard how to write women characters. I suppose there was enough spirituality in the book that I believe to be true that the idea that men had all of the keys was irritating.

All of this writing about technology reminded me of my dream where I make chocolate truffles in my kitchen with Mark Zuckerberg, which is clearly a bringing feminine aspects to technology dream, so I picked up my Robert Johnson books again. Johnson's books are categorized as psychology, but they use mythology to explain men, women, and relationships and they include The Fisher King & The Handless Maiden. Everyone knows the Fisher King, that is the wounded masculine, but the Handless Maiden is much less known.

Dan Brown could benefit from reading some mythology, in mythology there is always a duality and partnership between masculine and feminine, something that seems to have been lost.

In the myth of the handless maiden, the miller sells his daughter's hands in exchange for the technology to improve his mill. Pretty horrible start, there. When I last read the book in my 20's I did not understand what the myth suggested to heal the inner feminine, so I will have to reread it, but for now, as my brother Dave says, I have spent too much time with my shadow. I went out all afternoon and spent some time with my friends.