I am going to finish 60 days to Enlightenment today, since I think the last entry is a disappointment and I do not want it to be part of my anniversary post tomorrow.
The next topic is Action/Doing with a quote from Mother Teresa,
"There should be less talk; a preaching point is not a meeting point. What do you do then? Take a broom and clean someone's house. That says enough."
I wondering if take a broom and clean your own house might be better, and by that I mean take responsibility for your own actions. The topic makes me think more of actions are louder than words, but I agree with the idea of that there should be less talk. If you cannot communicate your point in a few minutes, either you are not communicating or the other person isn't listening and any more talking is a waste of time. I remember trying to communicate how I felt to my ex-husband and it would turn into talking that went round and round over the same thing and I thought it was me that was not communicating when really he was not listening and I would finally cry to make it stop. I have not had to do that in a really long time, thank goodness.
The verses below reportedly were written on the wall of Mother Teresa's home for children in Calcutta, India, and are widely attributed to her,
People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered. Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives. Be kind anyway.
If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies. Succeed anyway.
If you are honest and sincere people may deceive you. Be honest and sincere anyway.
What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight. Create anyway.
If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous. Be happy anyway.
The good you do today, will often be forgotten. Do good anyway.
Give the best you have, and it will never be enough. Give your best anyway.
In the final analysis, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway.
The last topic is Awe, with a poem by the author. The author! It is a terrible poem and I am not going to post it. I tried to find a different poem for the topic and it is a difficult topic for words, so I will give the author a break, but to end with your own poem and put it in the same category with the greats and use it for the biggest topic just does not seem very enlightened to me.
Thanks again to Colleen for giving me the book. I think she gave it to me in May before I left So Cal and 60 days only took me more than a year. I am not a poetry fan, but I learned about many authors and poets I did not know and enjoyed much of their work, although my favorite is still Gibran's The Prophet. Interesting that The Prophet is set up as a story with a series of poems on topics. Most of all, I enjoyed pondering different spiritual topics and writing about them on this blog when I did not have much else to write. One of my friends challenged herself to write a prayer every morning and that sounds like another path to enlightenment, or inner peace, wait, inner peace and enlightenment are the same thing.
Having finished the book, am I enlightened now? I think enlightenment takes more than 60 days, even when you spread the 60 days over more than a year.
Showing posts with label enlightenment. Show all posts
Showing posts with label enlightenment. Show all posts
Saturday, August 20, 2011
Thursday, August 18, 2011
Nonviolence and Comparison
As much as I love those long summer nights, I am enjoying that it is dark by 9:30 now, it means I can get to sleep at a reasonable hour. I finished the Girl Who Kicked the Hornets Nest and then a PD James book and now I picked up The Source again. I was more than half way through and then the Rabbis started debating writing the Torah and they just go on and on, if the darkness doesn't help me sleep, that book will.
The next two topics in Wisdom of the Ages are Nonviolence and Comparison. Nonviolence includes part of an essay by Martin Luther King, Jr. This is not the one included in the book,
The Power of Non-violence
Martin Luther King, Jr.
June 4, 1957
From the very beginning there was a philosophy undergirding the Montgomery boycott, the philosophy of nonviolent resistance. There was always the problem of getting this method over because it didn’t make sense to most of the people in the beginning. We had to use our mass meetings to explain nonviolence to a community of people who had never heard of the philosophy and in many instances were not sympathetic with it. We had meetings twice a week on Mondays and on Thursdays, and we had an institute on nonviolence and social change. We had to make it clear that nonviolent resistance is not a method of cowardice. It does resist. It is not a method of stagnant passivity and deadening complacency. The nonviolent resister is just as opposed to the evil that he is standing against as the violent resister but he resists without violence. This method is nonaggressive physically but strongly aggressive spiritually.
Here is the link to the entire essay:
http://teachingamericanhistory.org/library/index.asp?document=1131
I do not completely agree with the idea of nonviolence, but perhaps I really believe in self-defense. I stood in the way of a raised hand and stopped it's effects with reason, I know it can be done, and understand the power of positive thinking and love. I also understand the film, No Country for Old Men, and believe that kind of evil exists and cannot be answered with nonviolence.
There is a better story in the book of Buddha. A man decides to test Buddha's reputation for peace and nonviolence. The man follows Buddha around for three days and is verbally abusive. For three days Buddha responds with love and kindness. The man finally asks how Buddha does this and Buddha replies, "If someone offers you a gift, and you do not accept that gift, to whom does the gift belong?"
The next topic is Comparison, with a poem by Ogden Nash,
So That’s Who I Remind Me Of
By Ogden Nash
When I consider men of golden talents,
I’m delighted, in my introverted way,
To discover, as I’m drawing up the balance,
How much we have in common, I and they.
Like Burns, I have a weakness for the bottle,
Like Shakespeare, little Latin and less Greek;
I bite my fingernails like Aristotle;
Like Thackeray, I have a snobbish streak.
I’m afflicted with the vanity of Byron,
I’ve inherited the spitefulness of Pope;
Like Petrarch, I’m a sucker for a siren,
Like Milton, I’ve a tendency to mope.
My spelling is suggestive of a Chaucer;
Like Johnson, well, I do not wish to die
(I also drink my coffee from the saucer);
And if Goldsmith was a parrot, so am I.
Like Villon, I have debits by the carload,
Like Swinburne, I’m afraid I need a nurse;
By my dicing is Christopher out-Marlowed,
And I dream as much as Coleridge, only worse.
In comparison with men of golden talents,
I am all a man of talent ought to be;
I resemble every genius in his vice, however heinous—
Yet I write so much like me.
I suppose it will help if you knew who all the people he is talking about were. Don't compare your insides to other people outsides. If you could put your problems, or your faults, in a bucket with everyone else's and then had to take some out, believe me you would pick your own.
I liked this Nash poem much better,
Portrait of the Artist as a Prematurely Old Man
By Ogden Nash
It is common knowledge to every schoolboy and even every Bachelor of Arts,
That all sin is divided into two parts.
One kind of sin is called a sin of commission, and that is very important,
And it is what you are doing when you are doing something you ortant,
And the other kind of sin is just the opposite and is called a sin of omission
and is equally bad in the eyes of all right-thinking people, from
Billy Sunday to Buddha,
And it consists of not having done something you shuddha.
I might as well give you my opinion of these two kinds of sin as long as,
in a way, against each other we are pitting them,
And that is, don’t bother your head about the sins of commission because
however sinful, they must at least be fun or else you wouldn’t be
committing them.
It is the sin of omission, the second kind of sin,
That lays eggs under your skin.
The way you really get painfully bitten
Is by the insurance you haven’t taken out and the checks you haven’t added up
the stubs of and the appointments you haven’t kept and the bills you
haven’t paid and the letters you haven’t written.
Also, about sins of omission there is one particularly painful lack of beauty,
Namely, it isn’t as though it had been a riotous red-letter day or night every
time you neglected to do your duty;
You didn’t get a wicked forbidden thrill
Every time you let a policy lapse or forget to pay a bill;
You didn’t slap the lads in the tavern on the back and loudly cry Whee,
Let’s all fail to write just one more letter before we go home, and this round
of unwritten letters is on me.
No, you never get any fun
Out of things you haven’t done,
But they are the things that I do not like to be amid,
Because the suitable things you didn’t do give you a lot more trouble than the
unsuitable things you did.
The moral is that it is probably better not to sin at all, but if some kind of
sin you must be pursuing,
Well, remember to do it by doing rather than by not doing.
You never get any fun out of things you haven't done. I should have saved that for my anniversary post, since that sounds like, go ahead and go on that adventure to Idaho.
The next two topics in Wisdom of the Ages are Nonviolence and Comparison. Nonviolence includes part of an essay by Martin Luther King, Jr. This is not the one included in the book,
The Power of Non-violence
Martin Luther King, Jr.
June 4, 1957
From the very beginning there was a philosophy undergirding the Montgomery boycott, the philosophy of nonviolent resistance. There was always the problem of getting this method over because it didn’t make sense to most of the people in the beginning. We had to use our mass meetings to explain nonviolence to a community of people who had never heard of the philosophy and in many instances were not sympathetic with it. We had meetings twice a week on Mondays and on Thursdays, and we had an institute on nonviolence and social change. We had to make it clear that nonviolent resistance is not a method of cowardice. It does resist. It is not a method of stagnant passivity and deadening complacency. The nonviolent resister is just as opposed to the evil that he is standing against as the violent resister but he resists without violence. This method is nonaggressive physically but strongly aggressive spiritually.
Here is the link to the entire essay:
http://teachingamericanhistory.org/library/index.asp?document=1131
I do not completely agree with the idea of nonviolence, but perhaps I really believe in self-defense. I stood in the way of a raised hand and stopped it's effects with reason, I know it can be done, and understand the power of positive thinking and love. I also understand the film, No Country for Old Men, and believe that kind of evil exists and cannot be answered with nonviolence.
There is a better story in the book of Buddha. A man decides to test Buddha's reputation for peace and nonviolence. The man follows Buddha around for three days and is verbally abusive. For three days Buddha responds with love and kindness. The man finally asks how Buddha does this and Buddha replies, "If someone offers you a gift, and you do not accept that gift, to whom does the gift belong?"
The next topic is Comparison, with a poem by Ogden Nash,
So That’s Who I Remind Me Of
By Ogden Nash
When I consider men of golden talents,
I’m delighted, in my introverted way,
To discover, as I’m drawing up the balance,
How much we have in common, I and they.
Like Burns, I have a weakness for the bottle,
Like Shakespeare, little Latin and less Greek;
I bite my fingernails like Aristotle;
Like Thackeray, I have a snobbish streak.
I’m afflicted with the vanity of Byron,
I’ve inherited the spitefulness of Pope;
Like Petrarch, I’m a sucker for a siren,
Like Milton, I’ve a tendency to mope.
My spelling is suggestive of a Chaucer;
Like Johnson, well, I do not wish to die
(I also drink my coffee from the saucer);
And if Goldsmith was a parrot, so am I.
Like Villon, I have debits by the carload,
Like Swinburne, I’m afraid I need a nurse;
By my dicing is Christopher out-Marlowed,
And I dream as much as Coleridge, only worse.
In comparison with men of golden talents,
I am all a man of talent ought to be;
I resemble every genius in his vice, however heinous—
Yet I write so much like me.
I suppose it will help if you knew who all the people he is talking about were. Don't compare your insides to other people outsides. If you could put your problems, or your faults, in a bucket with everyone else's and then had to take some out, believe me you would pick your own.
I liked this Nash poem much better,
Portrait of the Artist as a Prematurely Old Man
By Ogden Nash
It is common knowledge to every schoolboy and even every Bachelor of Arts,
That all sin is divided into two parts.
One kind of sin is called a sin of commission, and that is very important,
And it is what you are doing when you are doing something you ortant,
And the other kind of sin is just the opposite and is called a sin of omission
and is equally bad in the eyes of all right-thinking people, from
Billy Sunday to Buddha,
And it consists of not having done something you shuddha.
I might as well give you my opinion of these two kinds of sin as long as,
in a way, against each other we are pitting them,
And that is, don’t bother your head about the sins of commission because
however sinful, they must at least be fun or else you wouldn’t be
committing them.
It is the sin of omission, the second kind of sin,
That lays eggs under your skin.
The way you really get painfully bitten
Is by the insurance you haven’t taken out and the checks you haven’t added up
the stubs of and the appointments you haven’t kept and the bills you
haven’t paid and the letters you haven’t written.
Also, about sins of omission there is one particularly painful lack of beauty,
Namely, it isn’t as though it had been a riotous red-letter day or night every
time you neglected to do your duty;
You didn’t get a wicked forbidden thrill
Every time you let a policy lapse or forget to pay a bill;
You didn’t slap the lads in the tavern on the back and loudly cry Whee,
Let’s all fail to write just one more letter before we go home, and this round
of unwritten letters is on me.
No, you never get any fun
Out of things you haven’t done,
But they are the things that I do not like to be amid,
Because the suitable things you didn’t do give you a lot more trouble than the
unsuitable things you did.
The moral is that it is probably better not to sin at all, but if some kind of
sin you must be pursuing,
Well, remember to do it by doing rather than by not doing.
You never get any fun out of things you haven't done. I should have saved that for my anniversary post, since that sounds like, go ahead and go on that adventure to Idaho.
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
Appreciation and Forgiveness
This afternoon I had a good conversation with my boss' boss. She is tough but also kind and I really admire that combination. She initiated the conversation and I appreciated being able to be honest. It appears I have some job security, at least as much as you can nowadays. I think that is the first conversation I've had with a boss where we talked about people being intimidated by me and they did not tell me I had to work on not being intimidating. I also had someone else at work describe me as calm, hah! It must be my efforts to deflect the spinning top that works next to me.
Last night I decided to go by Lowe's and buy some replacement sprinklers and accidentally got on the freeway. I got caught in traffic and I had to slow down to 50 mph for a while. I replaced three sprinklers. Replacing sprinklers is not my favorite home improvement job, but I replaced a whole lot of sprinklers in my life and really the hardest part is buying the right replacement. I figure the cost of sprinklers that actually water will be offset by water savings, but we are not talking about a long sprinkler season here.
Before I went on my trip I treated my car to an oil change. It didn't really need it, but it's been 8 months and I was driving pretty many miles. With using cruise control half of the time and the oil change, I got 59 mpg. That's awesome. To celebrate, I pealed off the last of the LA carpool lane sticker left on my bumper. It's no good in LA anymore anyway and was the last identification with Cali left on my car.
Once it got hotter, my cats stopped being cuddly, but they are back at it since I returned from my trip even though it is still hot. Spit lays across me when I watch TV, aren't you hot Spit? Cruiser lays next to me with his arm across mine and his chin on my hand when I go to bed, aren't you hot Cruiser?
It was much cooler this morning and this must be the hint of fall before it gets really hot again. It's hard not to think about all of those things that need to get done before winter that you don't think about in Cali. I would like to paint my room, but I would have to do it while I can still open a window all night, which gives me to about October. I did rearrange my room. The best place for the dresser was right on top of the air vent and this didn't seem so bad in winter, but this summer I felt like I wasn't getting any air in my room, so I moved the dresser off of the vent and against another wall. This means that my bed has to be right under the window, which is a bit weird and not good feng shui, but at least it is on the second story.
Some other funny things here are the spider webs and how I have to keep up with the indoor trash in summer. All winter I can't open a window, which really bothers me, but the house never smelled. Now that I can open all the windows, which are open almost all the time, I have to keep up with the trash and clean the cat box straightaway. Onion peels go straight in the outdoor trash and the broiler pan gets cleaned right after dinner. Things are also sprouting or molding quickly even in the fridge, I threw out a new garlic bulb because it was all sprouts. I have not noticed my house to be more spidery than any other house I've lived in, but there are webs outside everywhere. Once a week I am outside sweeping webs away and I think if I left them my house would look perfect for Halloween.
The next two topics from Wisdom of the Ages are Appreciation and Forgiveness.
For Appreciation there is a poem by Dorothy Parker,
On Being A Woman
Why is it, when I am in Rome,
I'd give an eye to be at home,
But when on native earth I be,
My soul is sick for Italy?
And why with you, my love, my lord,
Am I spectacularly bored,
Yet do you up and leave me- then
I scream to have you back again?
Sounds like a grass-is-greener-on-the-other-side issue to me, and that is not unique to women. The enlightened answer, again, is to live in the present. That is hard when you are really hating the present. When I was not getting a job I kept reminding myself what I was doing at that moment, right now I am brushing my teeth, right now I am updating my resume, right now I am making a call. This helped me stay in the present. Then I was also walking into rooms and forgetting why I was there, which my friends told me might be due to menopause.
For Forgiveness there is a poem by Langston Hughes,
Cross
My old man's a white old man
And my old mother's black.
If ever I cursed my white old man
I take my curses back.
If ever I cursed my black old mother
And wished she were in hell,
I'm sorry for that evil wish
And now I wish her well
My old man died in a fine big house.
My ma died in a shack.
I wonder were I'm going to die,
Being neither white nor black?
I just do not understand what the big deal is with Langston Hughes. Forgiveness is for you, not for the person you are forgiving. Ever been consumed by anger towards someone? You are the one who is consumed, not them, they are probably happily going about their business without a thought about you. If you think about forgiveness as something you need, and you need it in order to live in the present (that persistent enlightenment topic), it is easier to find. I have a meditation book with a great meditation on forgiveness where you imagine who you need to forgive as a dove in a cage, you take them out, tell them you forgive them, and let them fly away. It worked for me, although I still think about my ex-husband dying a slow, miserable death as guilt causes him to rot from the inside out. Okay, so maybe it didn't work 100%.
Last night I decided to go by Lowe's and buy some replacement sprinklers and accidentally got on the freeway. I got caught in traffic and I had to slow down to 50 mph for a while. I replaced three sprinklers. Replacing sprinklers is not my favorite home improvement job, but I replaced a whole lot of sprinklers in my life and really the hardest part is buying the right replacement. I figure the cost of sprinklers that actually water will be offset by water savings, but we are not talking about a long sprinkler season here.
Before I went on my trip I treated my car to an oil change. It didn't really need it, but it's been 8 months and I was driving pretty many miles. With using cruise control half of the time and the oil change, I got 59 mpg. That's awesome. To celebrate, I pealed off the last of the LA carpool lane sticker left on my bumper. It's no good in LA anymore anyway and was the last identification with Cali left on my car.
Once it got hotter, my cats stopped being cuddly, but they are back at it since I returned from my trip even though it is still hot. Spit lays across me when I watch TV, aren't you hot Spit? Cruiser lays next to me with his arm across mine and his chin on my hand when I go to bed, aren't you hot Cruiser?
It was much cooler this morning and this must be the hint of fall before it gets really hot again. It's hard not to think about all of those things that need to get done before winter that you don't think about in Cali. I would like to paint my room, but I would have to do it while I can still open a window all night, which gives me to about October. I did rearrange my room. The best place for the dresser was right on top of the air vent and this didn't seem so bad in winter, but this summer I felt like I wasn't getting any air in my room, so I moved the dresser off of the vent and against another wall. This means that my bed has to be right under the window, which is a bit weird and not good feng shui, but at least it is on the second story.
Some other funny things here are the spider webs and how I have to keep up with the indoor trash in summer. All winter I can't open a window, which really bothers me, but the house never smelled. Now that I can open all the windows, which are open almost all the time, I have to keep up with the trash and clean the cat box straightaway. Onion peels go straight in the outdoor trash and the broiler pan gets cleaned right after dinner. Things are also sprouting or molding quickly even in the fridge, I threw out a new garlic bulb because it was all sprouts. I have not noticed my house to be more spidery than any other house I've lived in, but there are webs outside everywhere. Once a week I am outside sweeping webs away and I think if I left them my house would look perfect for Halloween.
The next two topics from Wisdom of the Ages are Appreciation and Forgiveness.
For Appreciation there is a poem by Dorothy Parker,
On Being A Woman
Why is it, when I am in Rome,
I'd give an eye to be at home,
But when on native earth I be,
My soul is sick for Italy?
And why with you, my love, my lord,
Am I spectacularly bored,
Yet do you up and leave me- then
I scream to have you back again?
Sounds like a grass-is-greener-on-the-other-side issue to me, and that is not unique to women. The enlightened answer, again, is to live in the present. That is hard when you are really hating the present. When I was not getting a job I kept reminding myself what I was doing at that moment, right now I am brushing my teeth, right now I am updating my resume, right now I am making a call. This helped me stay in the present. Then I was also walking into rooms and forgetting why I was there, which my friends told me might be due to menopause.
For Forgiveness there is a poem by Langston Hughes,
Cross
My old man's a white old man
And my old mother's black.
If ever I cursed my white old man
I take my curses back.
If ever I cursed my black old mother
And wished she were in hell,
I'm sorry for that evil wish
And now I wish her well
My old man died in a fine big house.
My ma died in a shack.
I wonder were I'm going to die,
Being neither white nor black?
I just do not understand what the big deal is with Langston Hughes. Forgiveness is for you, not for the person you are forgiving. Ever been consumed by anger towards someone? You are the one who is consumed, not them, they are probably happily going about their business without a thought about you. If you think about forgiveness as something you need, and you need it in order to live in the present (that persistent enlightenment topic), it is easier to find. I have a meditation book with a great meditation on forgiveness where you imagine who you need to forgive as a dove in a cage, you take them out, tell them you forgive them, and let them fly away. It worked for me, although I still think about my ex-husband dying a slow, miserable death as guilt causes him to rot from the inside out. Okay, so maybe it didn't work 100%.
Saturday, July 30, 2011
Too Many Effies
Today has been hot, humid, still, and gloomy. This morning I thought that we would not reach the double digit temperatures predicted, because clouds were moving in, but instead they just made the day humid. A big wind is now blowing in and it is welcome.
I woke up this morning to a barking dog that barked non-stop for an hour, tried to take a nap later and my neighbor was banging around doing yard work, and I don't feel well. I did finally get a nap and was hoping I could just wake up and start my day over, but it has turned into one of those lay around the house, stay away from people because I am in a mood, days. I did get two more studies done and I am grateful that my studio is on the opposite side of the house from the barking dog.
The barking dog is compliments of the 70's rock, Harley-riding neighbor. The music and the backyard parties stopped over the last month, but are replaced by a barking, whining dog, a kid's motorized car, a screaming, whining kid, and a nasty loud fight. I listened to a mother create the screaming brat in one hour. The kid was driving the new motorized car, eeeeeeeeeek, eeeeeeeeeek, eeeeeeeeeek, not a pleasant sound, and something happened and the kid started crying. I don't know if another kid was beating on him, or trying to take the car away, or if he hurt himself in the car, but this happened twice and it sounded like genuine pain. The third time, mom became entertaining to distract from the cries. The fourth time the crying was half-hearted and mom was entertaining again. The fifth time the crying was fake and the kid has been yelling at the top of his lungs ever since. I started hearing the dog about the same time as the car. A few days ago a couple had a screaming fight in the house. My guess is that the karaoke singer got out of rehab, bought the kid a car and a puppy and was on good behavior for a few weeks, but that is over now.
After three days of no one calling about fixing the sprinklers, I reset the timer and bought a new sprinkler head, which I did not have trouble finding. The timer still needs fixing, it still shows an error, but it should work for now. I was surprised that the sprinklers are not attached with pipe, it is more like flexible hose, maybe that is because it freezes here. The hose did make it easier to dig up and change the sprinkler head.
Yesterday I spent too much time among the dredges of humanity and maybe that is why I am in a bad mood today. I walked over to the Starbucks at lunch and stopped in the Albertson's on the way. These are both on a popular panhandling corner. Both checkers in the Albertson's worked in slow motion, a creepy homeless guy stared at me while I was sitting on the Starbucks patio, and I passed a sweaty homeless woman looking for plums on the sorry looking street tree on my way back to work. After work I stopped at the grocery store and avoided three accidents in a parking lot full of people that seemed to be packing up to get away for the weekend. I was looking at strawberries in the store and this fat woman in a scooter parked next to me and asked me, isn't it too late for strawberries? She looked at me like she expected an answer, so I said, they look like strawberries to me. Time to get my bitchy self home.
It seemed like a super long work week and both the guys at the reception desk called in sick on the same day, Wednesday. On the same day?! Was this a sick-out? Whatever the reason, I had to help back-up the reception desk, completely testing my ability to stay separate from the whirlwind and the passive aggressive. The dregs of humanity on Friday was probably more than I could bare.
The studies I did today are of lilies, I figured that would cheer me up, I will post them tomorrow.
The poem from Wisdom of the Ages on Individuality was better when I read it, along with the chapter, the second time. It is e.e. cummings,
here is little Effie's head
whose brains are made of gingerbread
when judgment day comes
God will find six crumbs
stooping by the coffinlid
waiting for something to rise
as the other somethings did-
you imagine his surprise
bellowing through the general noise
Where is Effie who was dead?
-to God in a tiny voice,
i am may the first crumb said
whereupon its fellow five
crumbs chuckled as if they were alive
and number two took up the song
might i'm called and did no wrong
cried the third crumb, i am should
and this is my little sister could
with our big brother who is would
don't punish us for we were good;
and the last crumb with some shame
whispered unto God, my name
is must and with the others i've
been Effie who isn't alive
just imagine it I say
God amid a monstrous din
watch your step and follow me
stooping by Effie's little, in
(want a match or can you see?)
which the six subjective crumbs
twitch like mutilated thumbs;
picture His peering biggest whey
coloured face on which a frown
puzzles, but I know the way-
(nervously Whose eyes approve
the blessed while His ears are crammed
with the strenuous music of
the innumerable capering damned)
-staring wildly up and down
the here we are now judgment day
cross the threshold have no dread
lift the sheet back in this way
here is little Effie's head
whose brains are made of gingerbread
Beware of may, might, should, could, would, and must, e.e. cummings' six symbols of being unable to think for yourself. All are requests for permission and approval, excuses for things undone, or a need to meet the expectations of others. None show self-reliance. E.e cummings was big on self-reliance and here it is equated with individuality, or an ability to think for yourself. In the poem, God hopes to see more than an empty head, making me think e.e. cummings understood that a firm belief in God did not mean a mindless following. I like the association between nonconformity and self-reliance, and I like relating both to individuality. I think I would add ego and opinion as in the way of being able to think for yourself. These two big offenders are worse, since they often disguise themselves as individuality, but that's another poem.
There seem to be a whole lot of Effies out there.
I woke up this morning to a barking dog that barked non-stop for an hour, tried to take a nap later and my neighbor was banging around doing yard work, and I don't feel well. I did finally get a nap and was hoping I could just wake up and start my day over, but it has turned into one of those lay around the house, stay away from people because I am in a mood, days. I did get two more studies done and I am grateful that my studio is on the opposite side of the house from the barking dog.
The barking dog is compliments of the 70's rock, Harley-riding neighbor. The music and the backyard parties stopped over the last month, but are replaced by a barking, whining dog, a kid's motorized car, a screaming, whining kid, and a nasty loud fight. I listened to a mother create the screaming brat in one hour. The kid was driving the new motorized car, eeeeeeeeeek, eeeeeeeeeek, eeeeeeeeeek, not a pleasant sound, and something happened and the kid started crying. I don't know if another kid was beating on him, or trying to take the car away, or if he hurt himself in the car, but this happened twice and it sounded like genuine pain. The third time, mom became entertaining to distract from the cries. The fourth time the crying was half-hearted and mom was entertaining again. The fifth time the crying was fake and the kid has been yelling at the top of his lungs ever since. I started hearing the dog about the same time as the car. A few days ago a couple had a screaming fight in the house. My guess is that the karaoke singer got out of rehab, bought the kid a car and a puppy and was on good behavior for a few weeks, but that is over now.
After three days of no one calling about fixing the sprinklers, I reset the timer and bought a new sprinkler head, which I did not have trouble finding. The timer still needs fixing, it still shows an error, but it should work for now. I was surprised that the sprinklers are not attached with pipe, it is more like flexible hose, maybe that is because it freezes here. The hose did make it easier to dig up and change the sprinkler head.
Yesterday I spent too much time among the dredges of humanity and maybe that is why I am in a bad mood today. I walked over to the Starbucks at lunch and stopped in the Albertson's on the way. These are both on a popular panhandling corner. Both checkers in the Albertson's worked in slow motion, a creepy homeless guy stared at me while I was sitting on the Starbucks patio, and I passed a sweaty homeless woman looking for plums on the sorry looking street tree on my way back to work. After work I stopped at the grocery store and avoided three accidents in a parking lot full of people that seemed to be packing up to get away for the weekend. I was looking at strawberries in the store and this fat woman in a scooter parked next to me and asked me, isn't it too late for strawberries? She looked at me like she expected an answer, so I said, they look like strawberries to me. Time to get my bitchy self home.
It seemed like a super long work week and both the guys at the reception desk called in sick on the same day, Wednesday. On the same day?! Was this a sick-out? Whatever the reason, I had to help back-up the reception desk, completely testing my ability to stay separate from the whirlwind and the passive aggressive. The dregs of humanity on Friday was probably more than I could bare.
The studies I did today are of lilies, I figured that would cheer me up, I will post them tomorrow.
The poem from Wisdom of the Ages on Individuality was better when I read it, along with the chapter, the second time. It is e.e. cummings,
here is little Effie's head
whose brains are made of gingerbread
when judgment day comes
God will find six crumbs
stooping by the coffinlid
waiting for something to rise
as the other somethings did-
you imagine his surprise
bellowing through the general noise
Where is Effie who was dead?
-to God in a tiny voice,
i am may the first crumb said
whereupon its fellow five
crumbs chuckled as if they were alive
and number two took up the song
might i'm called and did no wrong
cried the third crumb, i am should
and this is my little sister could
with our big brother who is would
don't punish us for we were good;
and the last crumb with some shame
whispered unto God, my name
is must and with the others i've
been Effie who isn't alive
just imagine it I say
God amid a monstrous din
watch your step and follow me
stooping by Effie's little, in
(want a match or can you see?)
which the six subjective crumbs
twitch like mutilated thumbs;
picture His peering biggest whey
coloured face on which a frown
puzzles, but I know the way-
(nervously Whose eyes approve
the blessed while His ears are crammed
with the strenuous music of
the innumerable capering damned)
-staring wildly up and down
the here we are now judgment day
cross the threshold have no dread
lift the sheet back in this way
here is little Effie's head
whose brains are made of gingerbread
Beware of may, might, should, could, would, and must, e.e. cummings' six symbols of being unable to think for yourself. All are requests for permission and approval, excuses for things undone, or a need to meet the expectations of others. None show self-reliance. E.e cummings was big on self-reliance and here it is equated with individuality, or an ability to think for yourself. In the poem, God hopes to see more than an empty head, making me think e.e. cummings understood that a firm belief in God did not mean a mindless following. I like the association between nonconformity and self-reliance, and I like relating both to individuality. I think I would add ego and opinion as in the way of being able to think for yourself. These two big offenders are worse, since they often disguise themselves as individuality, but that's another poem.
There seem to be a whole lot of Effies out there.
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Disclaimer, Geese, and Positive Energy
One of the problems with cell phones is that you don't know when someone hung up on you. You are talking away and realize that there is no one on the other end. How long have I been talking since they hung up? You have no idea. As I was staring at my blank phone asking myself that question, I thought cell phones took all the fun out of hanging up on people. No more satisfying, angry hammering of the receiver down on it's cradle, no more crash and bang of the receiver loudly in the recipient's ear for dramatic effect, no more buzzing dial tone to follow the crash and bang. I can't remember the last time I hung up on someone besides a telemarketer, but I'm glad I got over it before it lost it's drama. Call me old-fashioned.
I originally started this blog to stay in touch with my friends during my move, although it also turned into other things. I like having a record of my spiritual and creative journey, sometimes I include an Idaho travel log or things to do in Boise, and I know that reading it makes my Mom feel like I am not so far away. Sometimes I digress into politics, but I try to keep the focus on me. It is not my intention to reveal anyone else's feelings or secrets.
I wrote yesterday about what was at one point my daughter's stock and I wrote about it partly to reassure my Mom that I have not hit financial disaster and partly because it parallels my recent effort to generate some positive financial energy for myself. I picked some positive images of what abundance and success mean to me and I wondered if I walked around with those if they would come back to me. (Same concept as The Secret.)
I want to publish a few details about that stock, for the record. Dad and I have been struggling about what to do with that stock for 5 years. Last Summer when I stayed at the ranch we talked about it again and agreed to transfer the stock to me to "keep the door open" between my daughter and I. I tried not to define what "keep the door open" meant, but based on what I read, I had no intention to leave it in the stock market. Originally my Dad thought transferring the stock out of a minor's account would require the minor's signature. It turned out that it did not. No one did any forging of signatures. In my last conversation with my Dad, he told me not to think of it as Lauren's money. My conscience is clear. That's enough of that topic.
Katherine Albertson Park does not allow dogs from 3/1 to 6/30 due to nesting season, so yesterday I went to the park to see how the nests were coming and enjoy the absence of dogs.
While I was there, a few of the pairs of geese made an incredible honking racket, but I could not figure out what the fuss was about. It wasn't me, they were carrying on long before they could see me and I wasn't near any nests.
The ducks were sleeping in couples, but I could not see a nest.
The next topic for enlightenment is Love's energy, with a poem by Pierre Tielhard de Chardin,
"Someday, after we have mastered
the winds, the waves, the tides,
and gravity, we shall harness for God
the energies of love.
Then for the second time in the history
of the world, man will have discovered fire."
Since the concept of love is so distorted in the West, varied in other cultures, and non-existent in Buddhism, as a topic I'm changing it to Positive Energy, or maybe Well-directed Positive Energy. Imagine all human positive energy used and well directed for good, that is equivalent to discovering fire. Imagine all the energy that you spend on judgement, revenge, anger, hate, gossip, and drama and applying it to something positive, loving, or compassionate. I'm not sure if Chardin intended this to sound impossible, as mastering the winds and the waves is impossible, and I do not agree with the word "harness", which implies control. I think positive energy is something I can choose to be, something God wants me to be, without a harness.
I originally started this blog to stay in touch with my friends during my move, although it also turned into other things. I like having a record of my spiritual and creative journey, sometimes I include an Idaho travel log or things to do in Boise, and I know that reading it makes my Mom feel like I am not so far away. Sometimes I digress into politics, but I try to keep the focus on me. It is not my intention to reveal anyone else's feelings or secrets.
I wrote yesterday about what was at one point my daughter's stock and I wrote about it partly to reassure my Mom that I have not hit financial disaster and partly because it parallels my recent effort to generate some positive financial energy for myself. I picked some positive images of what abundance and success mean to me and I wondered if I walked around with those if they would come back to me. (Same concept as The Secret.)
I want to publish a few details about that stock, for the record. Dad and I have been struggling about what to do with that stock for 5 years. Last Summer when I stayed at the ranch we talked about it again and agreed to transfer the stock to me to "keep the door open" between my daughter and I. I tried not to define what "keep the door open" meant, but based on what I read, I had no intention to leave it in the stock market. Originally my Dad thought transferring the stock out of a minor's account would require the minor's signature. It turned out that it did not. No one did any forging of signatures. In my last conversation with my Dad, he told me not to think of it as Lauren's money. My conscience is clear. That's enough of that topic.
Katherine Albertson Park does not allow dogs from 3/1 to 6/30 due to nesting season, so yesterday I went to the park to see how the nests were coming and enjoy the absence of dogs.
While I was there, a few of the pairs of geese made an incredible honking racket, but I could not figure out what the fuss was about. It wasn't me, they were carrying on long before they could see me and I wasn't near any nests.
The ducks were sleeping in couples, but I could not see a nest.
The next topic for enlightenment is Love's energy, with a poem by Pierre Tielhard de Chardin,
"Someday, after we have mastered
the winds, the waves, the tides,
and gravity, we shall harness for God
the energies of love.
Then for the second time in the history
of the world, man will have discovered fire."
Since the concept of love is so distorted in the West, varied in other cultures, and non-existent in Buddhism, as a topic I'm changing it to Positive Energy, or maybe Well-directed Positive Energy. Imagine all human positive energy used and well directed for good, that is equivalent to discovering fire. Imagine all the energy that you spend on judgement, revenge, anger, hate, gossip, and drama and applying it to something positive, loving, or compassionate. I'm not sure if Chardin intended this to sound impossible, as mastering the winds and the waves is impossible, and I do not agree with the word "harness", which implies control. I think positive energy is something I can choose to be, something God wants me to be, without a harness.
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Commission
There was a break in the rain long enough to go for a walk this afternoon, although it was blustery. I walked across the street and intended to walk around the graveyard. At one end of the graveyard is a park, so I walked across thorough the park, and then there was no sidewalk along the street, so I had to walk back through the graveyard. When walking in Boise near any grass, be sure to watch where you are walking, geese poop is everywhere. I honked at a bunch of geese as I walked, but they just looked at me like I was a dope.
Dave sent me a letter, which I received yesterday right before the reject email from the ClickBank HR manager. They decided to hire someone internally. Today I received another reject email from ClickBank that was more of a form letter and not from the HR manager, so at least I made an impression and my efforts earned me a personal email. I was at a loss, so I just started to write Dave back.
I finished the commission over the weekend. Last week I really enjoyed it and then I put in the background and started to agonize. I swear that I spend half of my time on any portrait on the last 5% of the painting. I usually paint in the background sooner, but I wanted to finish the outside edge of the hair first. This was a tough one and by Friday night I was in such doubt and agony that I had to call Mom. I took a picture and sent it to her on Saturday and she helped get me out of my misery. Mom has lots of experience as a painting adviser, and she is my market. It is not my favorite, but it is done, and I think the kid looks terrific.
Yesterday I started anther painting and I finished it today. I am not sure what the next income-generating move is and when I don't know I just paint, and after agonizing over the last portrait, I just wanted to paint something lose and different and not blue.
Some guy went missing off of Hwy 20 on March 2, which made some of my friends think of me and my intense feeling telling me to turn around during my drive to Ketchum. I was driving East on Hwy 20 towards Fairfield, and the missing guy was last seen leaving Carey going West on Hwy 20 towards Fairfield, although we were three weeks apart. They've found no evidence of the guy, no guy, no car.
It is difficult for me to comprehend the devastation in Japan, it just doesn't seem real to me, but the struggles of the people there make my problems seem trivial. I need to correct/add to my previous post, it is the Earth's figure axis that moved,
The Earth's figure axis is not the same as its north-south axis in space, which it spins around once every day at a speed of about 1,000 mph (1,604 kph). The figure axis is the axis around which the Earth's mass is balanced and the north-south axis by about 33 feet (10 meters).
"This shift in the position of the figure axis will cause the Earth to wobble a bit differently as it rotates, but will not cause a shift of the Earth's axis in space - only external forces like the gravitational attraction of the sun, moon, and planets can do that," Gross said.
http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2011/03/13/scitech/main20042590.shtml
I'm not sure that the idea of the earth wobbling differently really makes me feel any better. I guess this would be a good time for some enlightenment and the next topic is appropriate.
The next topic is Suffering, with a saying of Paramahansa Yogananda from Sayings of Paramahansa Yogananda,
Man has falsely identified himself with the pseudo-soul or ego. When he transfers his sense of identity to his true being, the immortal Soul, he discovers that all pain is unreal. He no longer can even imagine the state of suffering.
This means letting go of all of your attachments and all of your self-importance, all of those things outside yourself. Once you are your true being only, you will not feel suffering. I don't know, maybe this isn't such a good topic. Many Japanese have just had all of their attachments ripped from them, and I am sure they are truly suffering and I do not think this passage will help much. From the pictures I've seen, the Japanese do not appear to need any advice from me or Wisdom of the Ages. They seem to be a serene bunch, no hysterics, no looting, no crowding in line, and some of them are carrying someone else on their back.
The We Art Women show accepted two out of the three paintings that I entered for their benefit show on April 14. I went ahead and entered even though I was not sure where I would be on April 14th, part of my acting as if everything is just going to work out.
Dave sent me a letter, which I received yesterday right before the reject email from the ClickBank HR manager. They decided to hire someone internally. Today I received another reject email from ClickBank that was more of a form letter and not from the HR manager, so at least I made an impression and my efforts earned me a personal email. I was at a loss, so I just started to write Dave back.
I finished the commission over the weekend. Last week I really enjoyed it and then I put in the background and started to agonize. I swear that I spend half of my time on any portrait on the last 5% of the painting. I usually paint in the background sooner, but I wanted to finish the outside edge of the hair first. This was a tough one and by Friday night I was in such doubt and agony that I had to call Mom. I took a picture and sent it to her on Saturday and she helped get me out of my misery. Mom has lots of experience as a painting adviser, and she is my market. It is not my favorite, but it is done, and I think the kid looks terrific.
Yesterday I started anther painting and I finished it today. I am not sure what the next income-generating move is and when I don't know I just paint, and after agonizing over the last portrait, I just wanted to paint something lose and different and not blue.
Some guy went missing off of Hwy 20 on March 2, which made some of my friends think of me and my intense feeling telling me to turn around during my drive to Ketchum. I was driving East on Hwy 20 towards Fairfield, and the missing guy was last seen leaving Carey going West on Hwy 20 towards Fairfield, although we were three weeks apart. They've found no evidence of the guy, no guy, no car.
It is difficult for me to comprehend the devastation in Japan, it just doesn't seem real to me, but the struggles of the people there make my problems seem trivial. I need to correct/add to my previous post, it is the Earth's figure axis that moved,
The Earth's figure axis is not the same as its north-south axis in space, which it spins around once every day at a speed of about 1,000 mph (1,604 kph). The figure axis is the axis around which the Earth's mass is balanced and the north-south axis by about 33 feet (10 meters).
"This shift in the position of the figure axis will cause the Earth to wobble a bit differently as it rotates, but will not cause a shift of the Earth's axis in space - only external forces like the gravitational attraction of the sun, moon, and planets can do that," Gross said.
http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2011/03/13/scitech/main20042590.shtml
I'm not sure that the idea of the earth wobbling differently really makes me feel any better. I guess this would be a good time for some enlightenment and the next topic is appropriate.
The next topic is Suffering, with a saying of Paramahansa Yogananda from Sayings of Paramahansa Yogananda,
Man has falsely identified himself with the pseudo-soul or ego. When he transfers his sense of identity to his true being, the immortal Soul, he discovers that all pain is unreal. He no longer can even imagine the state of suffering.
This means letting go of all of your attachments and all of your self-importance, all of those things outside yourself. Once you are your true being only, you will not feel suffering. I don't know, maybe this isn't such a good topic. Many Japanese have just had all of their attachments ripped from them, and I am sure they are truly suffering and I do not think this passage will help much. From the pictures I've seen, the Japanese do not appear to need any advice from me or Wisdom of the Ages. They seem to be a serene bunch, no hysterics, no looting, no crowding in line, and some of them are carrying someone else on their back.
The We Art Women show accepted two out of the three paintings that I entered for their benefit show on April 14. I went ahead and entered even though I was not sure where I would be on April 14th, part of my acting as if everything is just going to work out.
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Italian Cheese and Networking
Coco sent Italian cheeses and chocolates all the way from Italy,
I can't really read the packages, they are all in Italian, but there is romano, mozzarella, what has to be parmesan, ricotta with capers (think that's why it's black), chocolate, and espresso chocolate. I'm already into the chocolate, which is less sweet (and more chocolate!) than we make it here. I will have to make lasagna, although I am suspicious of that ricotta. Thanks, Coco!
Here are the crocus trying to come up,
And Spit excited by the warmer weather,
I took my letter of interest, resume, references, and a promo card to the Arts Commission this morning and dropped it off. The Arts Commission is in a funny old house next to the Bishop's House and I almost couldn't find it. I said I was interested in upcoming workshops and talked to someone for half an hour about opportunities for artists in Boise. I gave her my email, so they can add me to their mailing list, and my website. She answered some of my questions about artist's grants, I missed the visual artist fellowship grant deadline, which comes around again in 2014, but there are project grants every quarter of $1500. I did not talk to the director, but I hope I made an impression on someone and she gave me some other organizations in Boise that have workshops and grants. We ended talking about my Prius, who would have thought it would be a conversation piece.
Then I went next door to the Botanical Garden to sign up for their painting botanicals class, which was full. I will have to wait until it is held again in the Summer, I was thinking February was too cold to be painting outside anyway, and I need to remember to sign up early.
The co-chairman of the Idaho Watercolor Society called and invited to me to their meeting on Monday and asked if I would help put on their annual workshop in June. I said I would if it was something I could still do if I was miraculously working by then, and someone else will call me about it. I think I will go ahead and go to their Monday meeting and network some more.
I checked for ad agencies in Boise and found three. I wrote down names and addresses and I am going to drop by those on Friday and next week. I don't know if there is any illustration work here, but I am going to try to talk to someone and ask what illustration work they might use, so I can do some appropriate samples. It seems to me that if the city and the state are doing so much to support local artists, maybe ad agencies are, too. I'm thinking of doing some renderings of historical architecture in Idaho.
But the Arts Commission was enough networking for one day. Tomorrow is my one day road trip and I'm still not sure where I want to go.
Counting down to enlightenment, there are 12 topics left, and the next is Privacy with a piece by Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi (also know as Mahatma),
Strength of numbers is the
delight of the timid.
The valiant in spirit glory in
fighting alone.
The author starts his opinion on this piece talking about quantum physics, which I do not understand. He then goes on to talk about sharing your dreams with people, which invites your ego and their opinion, which invites your defenses, which moves the dream from the spirit to the ego-centered real world. I liked that idea. I had to share my idea of moving to Idaho for practical reasons, but I did not ask anyone to co-sign my dream. Some did anyway, although I hope that now that I am at some financial 11th hour they are not regretting it. I'm not sure what that has to do with privacy, though, except that we all need some privacy to connect with our spirit, our dreams, and our beliefs that we are willing to defend even if we have to do so alone.
I can't really read the packages, they are all in Italian, but there is romano, mozzarella, what has to be parmesan, ricotta with capers (think that's why it's black), chocolate, and espresso chocolate. I'm already into the chocolate, which is less sweet (and more chocolate!) than we make it here. I will have to make lasagna, although I am suspicious of that ricotta. Thanks, Coco!
Here are the crocus trying to come up,
And Spit excited by the warmer weather,
I took my letter of interest, resume, references, and a promo card to the Arts Commission this morning and dropped it off. The Arts Commission is in a funny old house next to the Bishop's House and I almost couldn't find it. I said I was interested in upcoming workshops and talked to someone for half an hour about opportunities for artists in Boise. I gave her my email, so they can add me to their mailing list, and my website. She answered some of my questions about artist's grants, I missed the visual artist fellowship grant deadline, which comes around again in 2014, but there are project grants every quarter of $1500. I did not talk to the director, but I hope I made an impression on someone and she gave me some other organizations in Boise that have workshops and grants. We ended talking about my Prius, who would have thought it would be a conversation piece.
Then I went next door to the Botanical Garden to sign up for their painting botanicals class, which was full. I will have to wait until it is held again in the Summer, I was thinking February was too cold to be painting outside anyway, and I need to remember to sign up early.
The co-chairman of the Idaho Watercolor Society called and invited to me to their meeting on Monday and asked if I would help put on their annual workshop in June. I said I would if it was something I could still do if I was miraculously working by then, and someone else will call me about it. I think I will go ahead and go to their Monday meeting and network some more.
I checked for ad agencies in Boise and found three. I wrote down names and addresses and I am going to drop by those on Friday and next week. I don't know if there is any illustration work here, but I am going to try to talk to someone and ask what illustration work they might use, so I can do some appropriate samples. It seems to me that if the city and the state are doing so much to support local artists, maybe ad agencies are, too. I'm thinking of doing some renderings of historical architecture in Idaho.
But the Arts Commission was enough networking for one day. Tomorrow is my one day road trip and I'm still not sure where I want to go.
Counting down to enlightenment, there are 12 topics left, and the next is Privacy with a piece by Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi (also know as Mahatma),
Strength of numbers is the
delight of the timid.
The valiant in spirit glory in
fighting alone.
The author starts his opinion on this piece talking about quantum physics, which I do not understand. He then goes on to talk about sharing your dreams with people, which invites your ego and their opinion, which invites your defenses, which moves the dream from the spirit to the ego-centered real world. I liked that idea. I had to share my idea of moving to Idaho for practical reasons, but I did not ask anyone to co-sign my dream. Some did anyway, although I hope that now that I am at some financial 11th hour they are not regretting it. I'm not sure what that has to do with privacy, though, except that we all need some privacy to connect with our spirit, our dreams, and our beliefs that we are willing to defend even if we have to do so alone.
Sunday, February 6, 2011
Progress, Not Perfection
It is hard to believe that I must have been in one of the warmest places in the US this week. I drove home from the Eagle gallery last Friday night without the temperature light on and then it rained, which means it stayed above freezing overnight. No natural gas shortages here.
Contrary to the magazine articles I've quoted about economic conditions in Idaho, the Idaho Department of Labor released this on 1/7/2011:
"Idaho Jobless Rate Rises for Fifth Straight Month, Exceeds National Rate
Idaho’s forecasted seasonally adjusted unemployment rate edged upward for the fifth straight month in December, leaving a record 71,900 workers without jobs.
A tenth of a percentage point increase to 9.5 percent ran counter to a four-tenths drop in the national rate to 9.4 percent and broke a nine-year-two-month streak where Idaho’s rate was lower than the national rate. December’s rate matches the recession-high set last February and is just one-tenth of a percentage point below the record in December 1982 through February 1983.
December's forecasted rate and preliminary rates for the rest of 2010 will be subjected to review over the next two months as additional economic information becomes available and is analyzed and adjusted to more accurately reflect the economic circumstances of 2010. Based on current data, Idaho's unemployment rate for 2010 averaged a record 9.2 percent, breaking the previous record of 9 percent in 1982 set in the midst of a double-dip recession. New hiring by employers statewide in 2010 was at its lowest level since businesses began reporting in 1997 – 141,100."
I do not believe the national numbers, they are based on a government "survey" and I figure government spins the numbers how they want. I don't know how anyone could count the number of people that have given up finding work or the number of people underemployed.
According to an Oregon columnist, Idaho is called "the flying grit state." There is a regular problem of flying rocks and broken windshields in Idaho. Oh, that is why last Fall there was a free windshield repair truck on every corner.
I am glad to be back to reading after a week of reading deprivation for the Artist's Way. I did not refrain from reading, I practiced reading awareness, since I really have to read job postings and apply and I can't do that without reading. I did stay off of reading Internet news and opinion for a week, I did not buy last Sunday's paper, and I did not read before bed. All of these were surprisingly difficult, but honestly, all I did was watch more TV. If you really want to practice deprivation that makes you aware of how you use something to distract yourself from yourself, try shopping or TV deprivation, those were real eye-openers for me.
Now that I can read again, the next topic in Wisdom of the Ages is Highest Self, with a poem by Rabindranath Tagore,
I came out alone on my way to my tryst.
But who is this that follows me in the silent dark?
I move aside to avoid his presence but I escape him not.
He makes the dust rise from the earth with his swagger;
he adds his loud voice to every word that I utter.
He is my own little self, my lord, he knows no shame;
but I am ashamed to come to thy door in his company.
This is from Tagore's book of poems, Gitanjali. Tagore won the Nobel prize for literature in 1913 and was a contemporary of Gandhi. In 1883, at the age of 22, he married a 10 year old. (Just a little bit of background on some of these spiritual poets and their work goes a bit sour.) I think this poem is about the battle between your spiritual self and your ego-centered self. In this poem, the ego-centered self seems to be inescapable. Tagore's text following this poem is a bit confusing and all over the place, but he talks about the borders of physical existence, and I like this, towards the end of the essay following this poem,
"As progress is never made at a constant level, he should remain undisturbed by the ebb and flow of his spiritual life. During the period of ebb, he must hold to the progress he has already made, and during the flow he must move forward swiftly."
It's progress, not perfection.
With watercolors, it is important to know when to give up on a painting and when to keep working. I gave up on the Crouch barn, the background got too dark and there is no lightening a too dark watercolor. I quickly moved on to something else, since it has been a discouraging week full of rejection and painting makes me feel optimistic.
Contrary to the magazine articles I've quoted about economic conditions in Idaho, the Idaho Department of Labor released this on 1/7/2011:
"Idaho Jobless Rate Rises for Fifth Straight Month, Exceeds National Rate
Idaho’s forecasted seasonally adjusted unemployment rate edged upward for the fifth straight month in December, leaving a record 71,900 workers without jobs.
A tenth of a percentage point increase to 9.5 percent ran counter to a four-tenths drop in the national rate to 9.4 percent and broke a nine-year-two-month streak where Idaho’s rate was lower than the national rate. December’s rate matches the recession-high set last February and is just one-tenth of a percentage point below the record in December 1982 through February 1983.
December's forecasted rate and preliminary rates for the rest of 2010 will be subjected to review over the next two months as additional economic information becomes available and is analyzed and adjusted to more accurately reflect the economic circumstances of 2010. Based on current data, Idaho's unemployment rate for 2010 averaged a record 9.2 percent, breaking the previous record of 9 percent in 1982 set in the midst of a double-dip recession. New hiring by employers statewide in 2010 was at its lowest level since businesses began reporting in 1997 – 141,100."
I do not believe the national numbers, they are based on a government "survey" and I figure government spins the numbers how they want. I don't know how anyone could count the number of people that have given up finding work or the number of people underemployed.
According to an Oregon columnist, Idaho is called "the flying grit state." There is a regular problem of flying rocks and broken windshields in Idaho. Oh, that is why last Fall there was a free windshield repair truck on every corner.
I am glad to be back to reading after a week of reading deprivation for the Artist's Way. I did not refrain from reading, I practiced reading awareness, since I really have to read job postings and apply and I can't do that without reading. I did stay off of reading Internet news and opinion for a week, I did not buy last Sunday's paper, and I did not read before bed. All of these were surprisingly difficult, but honestly, all I did was watch more TV. If you really want to practice deprivation that makes you aware of how you use something to distract yourself from yourself, try shopping or TV deprivation, those were real eye-openers for me.
Now that I can read again, the next topic in Wisdom of the Ages is Highest Self, with a poem by Rabindranath Tagore,
I came out alone on my way to my tryst.
But who is this that follows me in the silent dark?
I move aside to avoid his presence but I escape him not.
He makes the dust rise from the earth with his swagger;
he adds his loud voice to every word that I utter.
He is my own little self, my lord, he knows no shame;
but I am ashamed to come to thy door in his company.
This is from Tagore's book of poems, Gitanjali. Tagore won the Nobel prize for literature in 1913 and was a contemporary of Gandhi. In 1883, at the age of 22, he married a 10 year old. (Just a little bit of background on some of these spiritual poets and their work goes a bit sour.) I think this poem is about the battle between your spiritual self and your ego-centered self. In this poem, the ego-centered self seems to be inescapable. Tagore's text following this poem is a bit confusing and all over the place, but he talks about the borders of physical existence, and I like this, towards the end of the essay following this poem,
"As progress is never made at a constant level, he should remain undisturbed by the ebb and flow of his spiritual life. During the period of ebb, he must hold to the progress he has already made, and during the flow he must move forward swiftly."
It's progress, not perfection.
With watercolors, it is important to know when to give up on a painting and when to keep working. I gave up on the Crouch barn, the background got too dark and there is no lightening a too dark watercolor. I quickly moved on to something else, since it has been a discouraging week full of rejection and painting makes me feel optimistic.
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Glenn's Ferry and Self-Acceptance
Here's a better shot of the ponies,
And this is Glenn's Ferry,
Looking at this picture it's hard to imagine Glenn's Ferry is now flooded and half under water, although that is a nice sized river. I had big trouble with the blue of the river. I have 7 tubes of different blue watercolors and still could not quite get the right one. Now I'm working on another landscape, which is going super fast.
The next enlightenment topic is Soul Love, with two poems by William Butler Yeats,
When You are Old
When you are old and grey and full of sleep,
And nodding by the fire, take down this book,
And slowly read, and dream of the soft look
Your eyes had once, and of their shadows deep;
How many loved your moments of glad grace,
And loved your beauty with love false or true,
But one man loved the pilgrim soul in you,
And loved the sorrows of your changing face;
And bending down beside the glowing bars,
Murmur, a little sadly, how Love fled
And paced upon the mountains overhead
And hid his face amid a crowd of stars.
For Anne Gregory
'NEVER shall a young man,
Thrown into despair
By those great honey-coloured
Ramparts at your ear,
Love you for yourself alone
And not your yellow hair.'
'But I can get a hair-dye
And set such colour there,
Brown, or black, or carrot,
That young men in despair
May love me for myself alone
And not my yellow hair.'
'I heard an old religious man
But yesternight declare
That he had found a text to prove
That only God, my dear,
Could love you for yourself alone
And not your yellow hair.'
Yeats appears to have written more above love transcendent of physical beauty than he lived it. I don't want to cut in to Kathleen's business, but enlightened people love the person inside, not the color of their hair, and that goes for loving yourself, too, even though that grey is really starting to shine through.
It is a bit of a stretch, but when discussing this topic the author author brings up Mazlow's idea of self-actualization. Mazlow believed that self-actualization was a mans' highest need. Maslow also identified some of the key characteristics of self-actualized people:
Self-Acceptance and Democratic World View
Self-actualized people tend to accept themselves and others as they are. They tend to lack inhibition and are able to enjoy themselves and their lives free of guilt. Other people are treated the same regardless of background, current status or other socio-economic and cultural factors.
Realistic
Another major characteristic of self-actualized people is a sense of realism. Rather than being fearful of things that are different or unknown, the self-actualized individual is able to view things logically and rationally.
Problem-Centered
Self-actualized individuals are often motivated by a strong sense of personal ethics and responsibility. They enjoy solving real-world problems and are often concerned with helping other people improve their own lives.
Peak Experiences
Self-actualization is also characterized by having frequent peak experiences. What exactly is a peak experience? According to Maslow, these "Feelings of limitless horizons opening up to the vision, the feeling of being simultaneously more powerful and also more helpless than one ever was before, the feeling of ecstasy and wonder and awe, the loss of placement in time and space with, finally, the conviction that something extremely important and valuable had happened, so that the subject was to some extent transformed and strengthened even in his daily life by such experiences."
Autonomy
The self-actualized individual does not conform to other people's ideas of happiness or contentment. This original perspective allows the individual to live in the moment and appreciate the beauty of each experience.
Solitude and Privacy
Self-actualized individuals value their privacy and enjoy solitude. While they also love the company of others, taking time to themselves is essential for personal discovery and cultivating individual potential.
Philosophical Sense of Humor
Self-actualized individuals generally have a thoughtful sense of humor. They are able to enjoy the humor in situations and laugh at themselves, but they do not ridicule or make fun at the expense of another person's feelings.
Spontaneity
Another characteristic of self-actualized people is a tendency to be open, unconventional and spontaneous. While these people are able to follow generally accepted social expectations, they do not feel confined by these norms in their thoughts or behaviors.
(From Characteristics of Self-Actualized People, Common Traits of Self-Actualized Individuals By Kendra Cherry, About.com Guide)
I suppose self-actualized people are more able to see past an exterior to the beauty within, due to self-acceptance, since if you are judging another's exterior it is probably because you are judging your own. I never thought of myself as a self-actualized person. When I read this list years ago it made me cry, because it seemed so unachievable to me. Now it does not seem so far away and I seem to be in the middle of a peak experience. If I don't get an income soon, though, I am going to have to move down Maslow's hierarchy of needs to things more basic.
And this is Glenn's Ferry,
Looking at this picture it's hard to imagine Glenn's Ferry is now flooded and half under water, although that is a nice sized river. I had big trouble with the blue of the river. I have 7 tubes of different blue watercolors and still could not quite get the right one. Now I'm working on another landscape, which is going super fast.
The next enlightenment topic is Soul Love, with two poems by William Butler Yeats,
When You are Old
When you are old and grey and full of sleep,
And nodding by the fire, take down this book,
And slowly read, and dream of the soft look
Your eyes had once, and of their shadows deep;
How many loved your moments of glad grace,
And loved your beauty with love false or true,
But one man loved the pilgrim soul in you,
And loved the sorrows of your changing face;
And bending down beside the glowing bars,
Murmur, a little sadly, how Love fled
And paced upon the mountains overhead
And hid his face amid a crowd of stars.
For Anne Gregory
'NEVER shall a young man,
Thrown into despair
By those great honey-coloured
Ramparts at your ear,
Love you for yourself alone
And not your yellow hair.'
'But I can get a hair-dye
And set such colour there,
Brown, or black, or carrot,
That young men in despair
May love me for myself alone
And not my yellow hair.'
'I heard an old religious man
But yesternight declare
That he had found a text to prove
That only God, my dear,
Could love you for yourself alone
And not your yellow hair.'
Yeats appears to have written more above love transcendent of physical beauty than he lived it. I don't want to cut in to Kathleen's business, but enlightened people love the person inside, not the color of their hair, and that goes for loving yourself, too, even though that grey is really starting to shine through.
It is a bit of a stretch, but when discussing this topic the author author brings up Mazlow's idea of self-actualization. Mazlow believed that self-actualization was a mans' highest need. Maslow also identified some of the key characteristics of self-actualized people:
Self-Acceptance and Democratic World View
Self-actualized people tend to accept themselves and others as they are. They tend to lack inhibition and are able to enjoy themselves and their lives free of guilt. Other people are treated the same regardless of background, current status or other socio-economic and cultural factors.
Realistic
Another major characteristic of self-actualized people is a sense of realism. Rather than being fearful of things that are different or unknown, the self-actualized individual is able to view things logically and rationally.
Problem-Centered
Self-actualized individuals are often motivated by a strong sense of personal ethics and responsibility. They enjoy solving real-world problems and are often concerned with helping other people improve their own lives.
Peak Experiences
Self-actualization is also characterized by having frequent peak experiences. What exactly is a peak experience? According to Maslow, these "Feelings of limitless horizons opening up to the vision, the feeling of being simultaneously more powerful and also more helpless than one ever was before, the feeling of ecstasy and wonder and awe, the loss of placement in time and space with, finally, the conviction that something extremely important and valuable had happened, so that the subject was to some extent transformed and strengthened even in his daily life by such experiences."
Autonomy
The self-actualized individual does not conform to other people's ideas of happiness or contentment. This original perspective allows the individual to live in the moment and appreciate the beauty of each experience.
Solitude and Privacy
Self-actualized individuals value their privacy and enjoy solitude. While they also love the company of others, taking time to themselves is essential for personal discovery and cultivating individual potential.
Philosophical Sense of Humor
Self-actualized individuals generally have a thoughtful sense of humor. They are able to enjoy the humor in situations and laugh at themselves, but they do not ridicule or make fun at the expense of another person's feelings.
Spontaneity
Another characteristic of self-actualized people is a tendency to be open, unconventional and spontaneous. While these people are able to follow generally accepted social expectations, they do not feel confined by these norms in their thoughts or behaviors.
(From Characteristics of Self-Actualized People, Common Traits of Self-Actualized Individuals By Kendra Cherry, About.com Guide)
I suppose self-actualized people are more able to see past an exterior to the beauty within, due to self-acceptance, since if you are judging another's exterior it is probably because you are judging your own. I never thought of myself as a self-actualized person. When I read this list years ago it made me cry, because it seemed so unachievable to me. Now it does not seem so far away and I seem to be in the middle of a peak experience. If I don't get an income soon, though, I am going to have to move down Maslow's hierarchy of needs to things more basic.
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Safety Razor and Humility
It snowed a bit overnight on Sunday night and the snow honestly cheered me up. If it is going to be so cold, there might as well be a quiet blanket of snow. The weatherman was predicting snow for several days that never happened, and is predicting snow today, except the sun is out with not a cloud in the sky. Being a weatherman in Idaho is a tough job.
My brother Dave sent me a check for Christmas and with it I bought that safety razor I've been wanting for more than a year. You remember safety razors? The razor that opens like a butterfly and you put the double-edged blade in? I figured since I was using a gift check, I could break my "no shopping in January" vow. I had to order it on-line, since they do not sell these in stores anymore.
When I went through the lesson of having no credit and having to pay cash for everything and not having much cash, I noticed how expensive replacement blades are for razors now. 8 blades for $15!? Besides being expensive, and despite now having 3 or 4 or even 5 blades-in-one, these do not seem to work as well or last as long as they used to. When did this change? I guess the new kind of razor is called a cartridge razor and they are now a rip-off. I thought this might be due to some safety regulation, except I did not have any trouble ordering a safety razor, so now I figure it is a corporate profit thing. (Why let people buy 10 blades for $5 when they can convince them to buy 8 for $15?) So now I have a razor that will last forever, 10 replacement blades for $5, and hey, I'm being "green" and throwing less away. (For the record, the razor was made in India and the blades in Japan.) It is going to take a while to get used to the safety razor, though. I got used to not being very careful with cartridge and disposable razors, since they are so dull, but these are sharp!
I heard recently that cats can make up to 30 different sounds and I think little Spit makes all of them. I've never heard a cat make so many different noises, from a squeaky purr to chirping to big sighs, but it used to be just Cruiser that made the whole-hearted, lowd, whiny howl. That is until this week. This week Spit decided that if she does not have her brushing by 6 pm she will wander around downstairs howling as if in a panic with brief looks at me as if the world is coming to an end. Yesterday I was finishing a job application when she started. Once I finished the application and sat down to brush her, it only took a few minutes of brushing to calm her down and then she was purring and laying across my lap and content. I'm hoping this is a "I am super bored with Winter" phase.
I thought that I was approaching this new round of job applications with some humility, until someone brought it up yesterday. I think that it is impossible to talk about humility without sounding less than humble, but I thought about the idea of doing the footwork and staying out of the results that I've heard so much. To me, that means always doing your best and then letting God, or the universe or whatever you believe in, take care of the results. Always doing the best that you can at the time prevents regret (or a resentment against yourself) and keeps you from trying to control results that you really have no control over. It keeps me in self-esteem and out of pride. With this next round of job applications I was really feeling like I should not have to do the footwork, I've done enough already!
Mahatma Gandhi associates Humility with Truth,
What is truth? A difficult question, but I have solved it for myself, by saying that it is what the voice within tells you.
All that I can, in true humility, present to you is that Truth is not to be found by anybody, who has not got an abundant sense of humility. If you would swim on the bosom of the ocean of Truth, you must reduce yourself to a zero.
Truth is within ourselves. There is an inmost centre in us all, where Truth abides in fullness. Every wrong-doer knows within himself that he is doing wrong for untruth cannot be mistaken for Truth. The law of Truth is merely understood to mean that we must speak the truth. But we understand the word in much wider sense. There should be Truth in thought, Truth in speech, and Truth in action.
[From the book, "Light of India or Message of Mahatmaji" by M. S. Deshpande.]
Today I am continuing with job applications, with a break for someone's 90th birthday cake and the Idaho Watercolor Society's welcome dinner, with a more humble attitude. My friend that went back to Bellingham, Washington worked for a guy here in Boise, who has more work this month. I called him and he is back in town on Thursday, so hopefully we can meet later this week. Tomorrow I am letting myself paint.
My brother Dave sent me a check for Christmas and with it I bought that safety razor I've been wanting for more than a year. You remember safety razors? The razor that opens like a butterfly and you put the double-edged blade in? I figured since I was using a gift check, I could break my "no shopping in January" vow. I had to order it on-line, since they do not sell these in stores anymore.
When I went through the lesson of having no credit and having to pay cash for everything and not having much cash, I noticed how expensive replacement blades are for razors now. 8 blades for $15!? Besides being expensive, and despite now having 3 or 4 or even 5 blades-in-one, these do not seem to work as well or last as long as they used to. When did this change? I guess the new kind of razor is called a cartridge razor and they are now a rip-off. I thought this might be due to some safety regulation, except I did not have any trouble ordering a safety razor, so now I figure it is a corporate profit thing. (Why let people buy 10 blades for $5 when they can convince them to buy 8 for $15?) So now I have a razor that will last forever, 10 replacement blades for $5, and hey, I'm being "green" and throwing less away. (For the record, the razor was made in India and the blades in Japan.) It is going to take a while to get used to the safety razor, though. I got used to not being very careful with cartridge and disposable razors, since they are so dull, but these are sharp!
I heard recently that cats can make up to 30 different sounds and I think little Spit makes all of them. I've never heard a cat make so many different noises, from a squeaky purr to chirping to big sighs, but it used to be just Cruiser that made the whole-hearted, lowd, whiny howl. That is until this week. This week Spit decided that if she does not have her brushing by 6 pm she will wander around downstairs howling as if in a panic with brief looks at me as if the world is coming to an end. Yesterday I was finishing a job application when she started. Once I finished the application and sat down to brush her, it only took a few minutes of brushing to calm her down and then she was purring and laying across my lap and content. I'm hoping this is a "I am super bored with Winter" phase.
I thought that I was approaching this new round of job applications with some humility, until someone brought it up yesterday. I think that it is impossible to talk about humility without sounding less than humble, but I thought about the idea of doing the footwork and staying out of the results that I've heard so much. To me, that means always doing your best and then letting God, or the universe or whatever you believe in, take care of the results. Always doing the best that you can at the time prevents regret (or a resentment against yourself) and keeps you from trying to control results that you really have no control over. It keeps me in self-esteem and out of pride. With this next round of job applications I was really feeling like I should not have to do the footwork, I've done enough already!
Mahatma Gandhi associates Humility with Truth,
What is truth? A difficult question, but I have solved it for myself, by saying that it is what the voice within tells you.
All that I can, in true humility, present to you is that Truth is not to be found by anybody, who has not got an abundant sense of humility. If you would swim on the bosom of the ocean of Truth, you must reduce yourself to a zero.
Truth is within ourselves. There is an inmost centre in us all, where Truth abides in fullness. Every wrong-doer knows within himself that he is doing wrong for untruth cannot be mistaken for Truth. The law of Truth is merely understood to mean that we must speak the truth. But we understand the word in much wider sense. There should be Truth in thought, Truth in speech, and Truth in action.
[From the book, "Light of India or Message of Mahatmaji" by M. S. Deshpande.]
Today I am continuing with job applications, with a break for someone's 90th birthday cake and the Idaho Watercolor Society's welcome dinner, with a more humble attitude. My friend that went back to Bellingham, Washington worked for a guy here in Boise, who has more work this month. I called him and he is back in town on Thursday, so hopefully we can meet later this week. Tomorrow I am letting myself paint.
Sunday, January 9, 2011
Failed Experiment and Inspiration
The insides of the kitchen cabinets are even cold. I've learned to warm up the coffee cup with hot water before pouring coffee in it, otherwise by the time I add milk to my hot coffee it is lukewarm. When it is really cold (below 20 degrees) I leave the cabinet door under the sink open to keep the pipes below the sink from freezing.
Cruiser was overweight, now he is just plain fat. I have to admit that he is really whiny about the cold and I tend to feed him to shut him up, but that is going to have to stop soon. The idea of Cruiser whining through a diet while we are all cooped up from the cold is pretty daunting, though.
I stole a half used watercolor block of 140 pound hot press watercolor paper from Dad and tried an experiment with it this week. I had somehow intimidated myself with the idea, so I finally had to start it firth thing in the morning this week before I could think about it too much. I made good progress on it yesterday, but I just hate the result. I tried doing a painting of my cats as kittens for my possible children's book and I don't know if it is the terrible composition, the leaning towards sentimental fuzzy kitten illustration, or my dislike for having to work differently on hot press paper. On hot press paper I can't work wet to wet, the water just beads up, and I can't layer like I usually do, so the color looks too flat to me. I went ahead an finished the experiment this morning, but I do not fell like I have time to experiment right now and I feel discouraged. Or maybe I already feel discouraged and that is reflected in the painting. I am moving on to something else today, getting back on the horse after being thrown, so to speak.
Every once in a while I check my blog stats. I was a bit mystified that my post with the 2nd largest audience was "Light Bulbs" and the only post commented on by someone I do not know was "Chaos is almost here." The post with the largest audience was "Registered to Vote." It was October and I can kind of understand why people cared about registering to vote, but why did so many people care about light bulbs? Why did someone comment on a post on my blog that had not much to do with what I usually write about and how did he find the post? (It's not like I have a huge readership.) So, I learned the other day that people have reverse searches set up on-line. They set up the topics and the search engine sends them an email of the link for everyone that posts anything on that topic. Then they must go in and check up on what you wrote and try to discredit anything they don't like. Pretty creepy, eh?
The next enlightenment topic is Inspiration, with a poem called IF by Rudyard Kipling,
If
If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or, being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;
If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with triumph and disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with wornout tools;
If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on";
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch;
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run -
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man my son!
I guess Kipling wrote poems to his son, but I'm having a bit of trouble with all this good information leading me to be a Man. Otherwise I am surprised at all of the inspiration in this poem, that I have never read. I am also surprised that I like the author's suggestion on using this poem in your life. (I usually don't.) He says, "keep your head, trust yourself, be honest, be a dreamer, be detached, be a risk-taker, be independent, be humble, be compassionate, be forgiving." Many of these things seem impossible to do simultaneously, but I think that is the point, you need to be all of them.
Cruiser was overweight, now he is just plain fat. I have to admit that he is really whiny about the cold and I tend to feed him to shut him up, but that is going to have to stop soon. The idea of Cruiser whining through a diet while we are all cooped up from the cold is pretty daunting, though.
I stole a half used watercolor block of 140 pound hot press watercolor paper from Dad and tried an experiment with it this week. I had somehow intimidated myself with the idea, so I finally had to start it firth thing in the morning this week before I could think about it too much. I made good progress on it yesterday, but I just hate the result. I tried doing a painting of my cats as kittens for my possible children's book and I don't know if it is the terrible composition, the leaning towards sentimental fuzzy kitten illustration, or my dislike for having to work differently on hot press paper. On hot press paper I can't work wet to wet, the water just beads up, and I can't layer like I usually do, so the color looks too flat to me. I went ahead an finished the experiment this morning, but I do not fell like I have time to experiment right now and I feel discouraged. Or maybe I already feel discouraged and that is reflected in the painting. I am moving on to something else today, getting back on the horse after being thrown, so to speak.
Every once in a while I check my blog stats. I was a bit mystified that my post with the 2nd largest audience was "Light Bulbs" and the only post commented on by someone I do not know was "Chaos is almost here." The post with the largest audience was "Registered to Vote." It was October and I can kind of understand why people cared about registering to vote, but why did so many people care about light bulbs? Why did someone comment on a post on my blog that had not much to do with what I usually write about and how did he find the post? (It's not like I have a huge readership.) So, I learned the other day that people have reverse searches set up on-line. They set up the topics and the search engine sends them an email of the link for everyone that posts anything on that topic. Then they must go in and check up on what you wrote and try to discredit anything they don't like. Pretty creepy, eh?
The next enlightenment topic is Inspiration, with a poem called IF by Rudyard Kipling,
If
If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or, being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;
If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with triumph and disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with wornout tools;
If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on";
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch;
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run -
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man my son!
I guess Kipling wrote poems to his son, but I'm having a bit of trouble with all this good information leading me to be a Man. Otherwise I am surprised at all of the inspiration in this poem, that I have never read. I am also surprised that I like the author's suggestion on using this poem in your life. (I usually don't.) He says, "keep your head, trust yourself, be honest, be a dreamer, be detached, be a risk-taker, be independent, be humble, be compassionate, be forgiving." Many of these things seem impossible to do simultaneously, but I think that is the point, you need to be all of them.
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Too Cold and Work
No need for ice during winter here in Boise, really good ice cold water comes right from the tap. Even the Idaho native grocery checker was complaining this morning about the cold. She agreed with me that there could at least be snow on the ground if it was going to be this cold so it would look pretty. It's been 10 degrees below normal and has not reached 30 degrees for a week and I'm tired of it. I have to admit the cold is affecting my discipline and motivation.
Probably because I licensed my own business, I received a solicitation from the National Association of Professional Women. If you receive one, it is a scam. If you make the mistake of sending them a response with your phone number before you find out it is a scam, like I did, be sure not to send them any money. The solicitation says free membership, which it is not.
Next film was Secretariat. It's not an award winner, but I cried through half of the movie. Horses mixed with following your heart or your dreams was too much for me. Then, How to Tame Your Dragon, which was a nicely animated film with a good story. I had trouble with the dragon main character, which most of the time looked like a fish to me, but I loved all the dragon drawings at the end.
The next enlightenment topic is Work, with an excerpt from The Prophet by Kahlil Gibran,
"Then a ploughman said, Speak to us of Work.
And he answered, saying:
You work that you may keep pace with
the earth and the soul of the earth.
For to be idle is to become a stranger
unto the seasons, and to step out of life's
procession, that marches in majesty and
proud submission towards the infinite.
When you work you are a flute through
whose heart the whispering of the hours
turns to music.
Which of you would be a reed, dumb and
silent, when all else sings together in unison?
Always you have been told that work is
a curse and labour a misfortune.
But I say to you that when you work
you fulfil a part of earth's furthest dream,
assigned to you when the dream was born,
And in keeping yourself with labour you
are in truth loving life,
And to love life through labour is to be
intimate with life's innermost secret.
But if in your pain you would call birth an
affliction and the support of the flesh a curse
written upon your brow, than I answer
that naught but the sweat of your brow
shall wash away that which is written.
You have been told that life is darkness,
and in your weariness you echo what
was said by the weary.
And I say that life is indeed a darkness
save when there is urge,
And all urge is blind save when there is knowledge,
And all knowledge is vain save when there is work,
And all work is empty save when there is love;
And when you work with love you bind
yourself to yourself, and to one another,
and to God.
And what is it to work with love?
It is to weave the cloth with threads
drawn from your own heart, even as if your
beloved were to wear that cloth.
It is to build a house with affection, even
as if your beloved were to dwell in that house.
It is to sow seeds with tenderness and reap
the harvest with joy, even as if your beloved
were to eat the fruit.
It is to charge all things you fashion with
a breath of your own spirit,
And to know that all the blessed dead
are standing about you and watching.
Often have I heard you say, as if speaking
in sleep, "He who works in marble, and
finds the shape of his own soul in the stone,
is nobler that he who ploughs the soil.
And he who seizes the rainbow to lay it
on a cloth in the likeness of man, is more
than he who makes the sandals for our feet."
But I say, not in sleep but in the over-
wakefulness of noontide, that the wind
speaks not more sweetly to the giant oaks
than to the least of all the blades of grass;
And he alone is great who turns the voice
of the wind into a song made sweeter by
his own loving.
Work is love made visible."
The author of Wisdom of the Ages reduces this poem to three lines. The above is most of the poem, although I cut off the end after, "Work is love made visible." I love The Prophet and am supremely annoyed to have one of Gibran's poems reduced down to three lines in a book that is supposed to include appreciating poetry, but maybe that is partly because this is a touchy subject for me today.
How many of us go to jobs every day that we hate? Is having a job that you love, or doing work that you love, a luxury? I got my first job at 16 so I could get that car and then I needed the job to afford the car, and so it began. I loved my job at Westwood Studios, it never really felt like a job and I never set the alarm in the morning and I never checked the clock at work. My favorite job was my mural painting job, although that was partly because I never saw my boss.
I suppose if I was a good Buddhist I would do every job with love, or at least mindfully, but hey, some jobs just suck and the best you can do is your best while still holding on to your soul. If you do not like your work, the author points out you have two choices, change what you are doing, or change how you feel about what you are doing. Boy, I already heard that a whole lot. I think the best I did in a job I hated was to find some humility. Once humility turned into humiliation it was time to go.
You do what you have to do in order to survive. I learned enough humility to go find any job today that will help me pay the rent and stay here. But if work is love made visible, then my painting is my work, and it needs to make me an income. But then, I need to be practical, I need to get out there and maybe one thing will lead to another, oh no, I already did the humility lesson, I don't want to do it again, round and round I go.
Probably because I licensed my own business, I received a solicitation from the National Association of Professional Women. If you receive one, it is a scam. If you make the mistake of sending them a response with your phone number before you find out it is a scam, like I did, be sure not to send them any money. The solicitation says free membership, which it is not.
Next film was Secretariat. It's not an award winner, but I cried through half of the movie. Horses mixed with following your heart or your dreams was too much for me. Then, How to Tame Your Dragon, which was a nicely animated film with a good story. I had trouble with the dragon main character, which most of the time looked like a fish to me, but I loved all the dragon drawings at the end.
The next enlightenment topic is Work, with an excerpt from The Prophet by Kahlil Gibran,
"Then a ploughman said, Speak to us of Work.
And he answered, saying:
You work that you may keep pace with
the earth and the soul of the earth.
For to be idle is to become a stranger
unto the seasons, and to step out of life's
procession, that marches in majesty and
proud submission towards the infinite.
When you work you are a flute through
whose heart the whispering of the hours
turns to music.
Which of you would be a reed, dumb and
silent, when all else sings together in unison?
Always you have been told that work is
a curse and labour a misfortune.
But I say to you that when you work
you fulfil a part of earth's furthest dream,
assigned to you when the dream was born,
And in keeping yourself with labour you
are in truth loving life,
And to love life through labour is to be
intimate with life's innermost secret.
But if in your pain you would call birth an
affliction and the support of the flesh a curse
written upon your brow, than I answer
that naught but the sweat of your brow
shall wash away that which is written.
You have been told that life is darkness,
and in your weariness you echo what
was said by the weary.
And I say that life is indeed a darkness
save when there is urge,
And all urge is blind save when there is knowledge,
And all knowledge is vain save when there is work,
And all work is empty save when there is love;
And when you work with love you bind
yourself to yourself, and to one another,
and to God.
And what is it to work with love?
It is to weave the cloth with threads
drawn from your own heart, even as if your
beloved were to wear that cloth.
It is to build a house with affection, even
as if your beloved were to dwell in that house.
It is to sow seeds with tenderness and reap
the harvest with joy, even as if your beloved
were to eat the fruit.
It is to charge all things you fashion with
a breath of your own spirit,
And to know that all the blessed dead
are standing about you and watching.
Often have I heard you say, as if speaking
in sleep, "He who works in marble, and
finds the shape of his own soul in the stone,
is nobler that he who ploughs the soil.
And he who seizes the rainbow to lay it
on a cloth in the likeness of man, is more
than he who makes the sandals for our feet."
But I say, not in sleep but in the over-
wakefulness of noontide, that the wind
speaks not more sweetly to the giant oaks
than to the least of all the blades of grass;
And he alone is great who turns the voice
of the wind into a song made sweeter by
his own loving.
Work is love made visible."
The author of Wisdom of the Ages reduces this poem to three lines. The above is most of the poem, although I cut off the end after, "Work is love made visible." I love The Prophet and am supremely annoyed to have one of Gibran's poems reduced down to three lines in a book that is supposed to include appreciating poetry, but maybe that is partly because this is a touchy subject for me today.
How many of us go to jobs every day that we hate? Is having a job that you love, or doing work that you love, a luxury? I got my first job at 16 so I could get that car and then I needed the job to afford the car, and so it began. I loved my job at Westwood Studios, it never really felt like a job and I never set the alarm in the morning and I never checked the clock at work. My favorite job was my mural painting job, although that was partly because I never saw my boss.
I suppose if I was a good Buddhist I would do every job with love, or at least mindfully, but hey, some jobs just suck and the best you can do is your best while still holding on to your soul. If you do not like your work, the author points out you have two choices, change what you are doing, or change how you feel about what you are doing. Boy, I already heard that a whole lot. I think the best I did in a job I hated was to find some humility. Once humility turned into humiliation it was time to go.
You do what you have to do in order to survive. I learned enough humility to go find any job today that will help me pay the rent and stay here. But if work is love made visible, then my painting is my work, and it needs to make me an income. But then, I need to be practical, I need to get out there and maybe one thing will lead to another, oh no, I already did the humility lesson, I don't want to do it again, round and round I go.
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Red Coat and Mystery
I took some pictures for Mom of the coat, gloves, and sweater she got me for Christmas,
I felt like a dork, but after a few pictures I don't think it shows. The reflection off the snow made excellent, flattering, fill-light. My new coat is fur lined and insulated, but it's not down. It is not usually cold enough here for down and the key is layering, so I needed a warm coat that would fit over a few layers. The gloves are fur-lined, too, and I've heard mittens are really warmer, but these work well.
My friend Laney won a make-over, so she and the make-up rep came over this morning and Laney and I got made-over. (I learned why you clear your walkway of snow, so people don't track it in when they come over.) The skin care/cosmetic line was Arbonne International and it seemed worthwhile, if you are in to that stuff. I've never worn much make-up and I wear even less now that I can't see to put it on. Try putting on eyeliner when you can't see your eyelids without your glasses. The trauma of plucking my eyebrows using the magnifying mirror where I can see every flaw and every gray hair in my eyebrows that if I plucked them all out I would not have much eyebrow left is bad enough. It was fun to do something different and I didn't feel pressured to buy anything since Laney was spending her winnings.
Arbonne International uses network marketing, which started my wheels turning a bit. How can I use that for my own work?
The next enlightenment topic is Mystery with an excerpt of an essay called Points to Ponder by William Jennings Bryan,
"I have observed the power of the watermelon seed. It has the power of drawing from the ground and through itself 200,000 times its weight. When you can tell me how it takes this material and out of it colors an outside surface beyond the imitation of art, and then forms inside of it a white rind and within that again a red heart, thickly inlaid with black seeds, each one which in turn is capable of drawing through itself 200,000 times its weight—-when you can explain to me the mystery of a watermelon, you can ask me to explain the mystery of God."
I am unclear if Bryan actually titled this piece and it appears to be from a book of essays called In His Image.
Bryan was a politician and a lawyer and is most remembered for failing to win the Presidency three times and for representing John Scopes in the Scopes Monkey Trial (or the State of Tennessee v. Scopes) in 1925. High school biology teacher John Scopes was accused of violating the state's Butler Act that made it unlawful to teach evolution.
The author includes another quote from F. Scott Fitzgerald,
"The test of a first rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in mind at the same time and still retain the ability to function. One should, for example, be able to see that things are hopeless and yet be determined to make them better."
F. Scott Fitzgerald is talking about Paradox, a topic that will make your mind explode. Funny that now, 85 years later, it's more likely unlawful to teach the Bible Story of Creation and nothing is a mystery, everything has a scientific explanation, even if the science is sometimes fabricated.
So, there are things that are unexplainable, let them be a mystery and just enjoy the beauty and mystery of a watermelon seed becoming a watermelon.
Somehow that ties in with wearing make-up, but I haven't figured out how.
I felt like a dork, but after a few pictures I don't think it shows. The reflection off the snow made excellent, flattering, fill-light. My new coat is fur lined and insulated, but it's not down. It is not usually cold enough here for down and the key is layering, so I needed a warm coat that would fit over a few layers. The gloves are fur-lined, too, and I've heard mittens are really warmer, but these work well.
My friend Laney won a make-over, so she and the make-up rep came over this morning and Laney and I got made-over. (I learned why you clear your walkway of snow, so people don't track it in when they come over.) The skin care/cosmetic line was Arbonne International and it seemed worthwhile, if you are in to that stuff. I've never worn much make-up and I wear even less now that I can't see to put it on. Try putting on eyeliner when you can't see your eyelids without your glasses. The trauma of plucking my eyebrows using the magnifying mirror where I can see every flaw and every gray hair in my eyebrows that if I plucked them all out I would not have much eyebrow left is bad enough. It was fun to do something different and I didn't feel pressured to buy anything since Laney was spending her winnings.
Arbonne International uses network marketing, which started my wheels turning a bit. How can I use that for my own work?
The next enlightenment topic is Mystery with an excerpt of an essay called Points to Ponder by William Jennings Bryan,
"I have observed the power of the watermelon seed. It has the power of drawing from the ground and through itself 200,000 times its weight. When you can tell me how it takes this material and out of it colors an outside surface beyond the imitation of art, and then forms inside of it a white rind and within that again a red heart, thickly inlaid with black seeds, each one which in turn is capable of drawing through itself 200,000 times its weight—-when you can explain to me the mystery of a watermelon, you can ask me to explain the mystery of God."
I am unclear if Bryan actually titled this piece and it appears to be from a book of essays called In His Image.
Bryan was a politician and a lawyer and is most remembered for failing to win the Presidency three times and for representing John Scopes in the Scopes Monkey Trial (or the State of Tennessee v. Scopes) in 1925. High school biology teacher John Scopes was accused of violating the state's Butler Act that made it unlawful to teach evolution.
The author includes another quote from F. Scott Fitzgerald,
"The test of a first rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in mind at the same time and still retain the ability to function. One should, for example, be able to see that things are hopeless and yet be determined to make them better."
F. Scott Fitzgerald is talking about Paradox, a topic that will make your mind explode. Funny that now, 85 years later, it's more likely unlawful to teach the Bible Story of Creation and nothing is a mystery, everything has a scientific explanation, even if the science is sometimes fabricated.
So, there are things that are unexplainable, let them be a mystery and just enjoy the beauty and mystery of a watermelon seed becoming a watermelon.
Somehow that ties in with wearing make-up, but I haven't figured out how.
Monday, December 20, 2010
Meet John Doe and Solitude
It snowed overnight Saturday and Sunday night, maybe there is 3 inches on the ground, but Boise appears to be done with snow until Christmas. I'm glad I am not in So Cal! It has been raining for days, it poured over the weekend, and there appears to be no end in sight. At least Idaho knows how to deal with weather. No one in So Cal knows how to drive in the rain.
This weekend I watched Meet John Doe made in 1941 with Gary Cooper and Barbara Stanwyck. Meet John Doe is an anti-facism film and I was surprised how timely this movie is today. Frank Capra was apparently not happy with the ending and I agree that it seems wrong. It seems to me that if Barbara Stanwyck is going to be redeemed at the end, she should show some signs earlier, and since she doesn't, maybe she should have been rejected by Gary Cooper on the rooftop and then jumped herself, or Gary Cooper should get pushed off the rooftop and become a martyr for the movement. But then that is too heavy for 1941 and a film trying to be hopeful.
Yesterday I learned how to use the timer on my camera and took some practice shots. I want to take a picture of me in my Christmas presents from Mom so I can send it to her and I want to take it today, while there is still snow. I feel a bit silly taking pictures of myself by myself, but I will get over it.
And I have to confess, Mom also sent a care package with two wrapped gifts and I opened one already. Mom always gives me the same two gifts at Christmas, a calendar with every family member's birthday written in it, and a box of chocolate hazelnut shells. She did not give them to me one year, because she thought I was bored of it, but I really look forward to them. So, Mom sent two wrapped gifts, but I know what they are, and I looked at that wrapped box of chocolates for a week before I finally opened it. I don't know if they are always Belgian chocolates, but these are, and this year they came in a tin painted with an east coast beach scene.
I was trying to finish Wisdom of the Ages by the end of the year, but it doesn't look like I am going to make it. The next enlightenment topic is Solitude, with a poem called Solitude, that everyone should find initially familiar, by Ella Wheeler Wilcox,
Laugh, and the world laughs with you;
Weep, and you weep alone.
For the sad old earth must borrow it's mirth,
But has trouble enough of its own.
Sing, and the hills will answer;
Sigh, it is lost on the air.
The echoes bound to a joyful sound,
But shrink from voicing care.
Rejoice, and men will seek you;
Grieve, and they turn and go.
They want full measure of all your pleasure,
But they do not need your woe.
Be glad, and your friends are many;
Be sad, and you lose them all.
There are none to decline your nectared wine,
But alone you must drink life's gall.
Feast, and your halls are crowded;
Fast, and the world goes by.
Succeed and give, and it helps you live,
But no man can help you die.
There is room in the halls of pleasure
For a long and lordly train,
But one by one we must all file on
Through the narrow aisles of pain.
The author talks about when you are positive, you attract more positive and when you are negative, you attract more negative. That goes with the poem, but I think that it is off the topic and besides, maybe you have to be negative alone, but you never have to weep alone. Ella must have had only fair-weather friends.
I have a whole book just on this topic (Solitude, A Return to the Self by Anthony Storr) and the book ends with a piece from The Prelude: The Complete Poetical Works of William Wordsworth,
When from our better selves we have too long
Been parted by the hurrying world, and droop,
Sick of its business, of its pleasures tired,
How gracious, how benign, is Solitude.
There is grace in solitude and in solitude we can return to our better selves. Everyone should learn how to be alone (and how to be still). It takes some practice, since in solitude we also often face our not-so-better selves.
This weekend I watched Meet John Doe made in 1941 with Gary Cooper and Barbara Stanwyck. Meet John Doe is an anti-facism film and I was surprised how timely this movie is today. Frank Capra was apparently not happy with the ending and I agree that it seems wrong. It seems to me that if Barbara Stanwyck is going to be redeemed at the end, she should show some signs earlier, and since she doesn't, maybe she should have been rejected by Gary Cooper on the rooftop and then jumped herself, or Gary Cooper should get pushed off the rooftop and become a martyr for the movement. But then that is too heavy for 1941 and a film trying to be hopeful.
Yesterday I learned how to use the timer on my camera and took some practice shots. I want to take a picture of me in my Christmas presents from Mom so I can send it to her and I want to take it today, while there is still snow. I feel a bit silly taking pictures of myself by myself, but I will get over it.
And I have to confess, Mom also sent a care package with two wrapped gifts and I opened one already. Mom always gives me the same two gifts at Christmas, a calendar with every family member's birthday written in it, and a box of chocolate hazelnut shells. She did not give them to me one year, because she thought I was bored of it, but I really look forward to them. So, Mom sent two wrapped gifts, but I know what they are, and I looked at that wrapped box of chocolates for a week before I finally opened it. I don't know if they are always Belgian chocolates, but these are, and this year they came in a tin painted with an east coast beach scene.
I was trying to finish Wisdom of the Ages by the end of the year, but it doesn't look like I am going to make it. The next enlightenment topic is Solitude, with a poem called Solitude, that everyone should find initially familiar, by Ella Wheeler Wilcox,
Laugh, and the world laughs with you;
Weep, and you weep alone.
For the sad old earth must borrow it's mirth,
But has trouble enough of its own.
Sing, and the hills will answer;
Sigh, it is lost on the air.
The echoes bound to a joyful sound,
But shrink from voicing care.
Rejoice, and men will seek you;
Grieve, and they turn and go.
They want full measure of all your pleasure,
But they do not need your woe.
Be glad, and your friends are many;
Be sad, and you lose them all.
There are none to decline your nectared wine,
But alone you must drink life's gall.
Feast, and your halls are crowded;
Fast, and the world goes by.
Succeed and give, and it helps you live,
But no man can help you die.
There is room in the halls of pleasure
For a long and lordly train,
But one by one we must all file on
Through the narrow aisles of pain.
The author talks about when you are positive, you attract more positive and when you are negative, you attract more negative. That goes with the poem, but I think that it is off the topic and besides, maybe you have to be negative alone, but you never have to weep alone. Ella must have had only fair-weather friends.
I have a whole book just on this topic (Solitude, A Return to the Self by Anthony Storr) and the book ends with a piece from The Prelude: The Complete Poetical Works of William Wordsworth,
When from our better selves we have too long
Been parted by the hurrying world, and droop,
Sick of its business, of its pleasures tired,
How gracious, how benign, is Solitude.
There is grace in solitude and in solitude we can return to our better selves. Everyone should learn how to be alone (and how to be still). It takes some practice, since in solitude we also often face our not-so-better selves.
Friday, December 17, 2010
More Sun!
Three days in a row of the sun being out first thing in the morning and lasting all day. Tomorrow the snow starts again, and not just a dusting, but 2 to 4 inches predicted just for Saturday with severe weather warnings. Then snow/rain through Christmas.
I have been lazily enjoying the sunshine, although except for my wonderful south-facing back yard, it is still cold. I started reading The African Queen, which isn't just a movie, you know. I started two studies and didn't like either one of them and didn't finish them. I have really, really not been productive. Sometimes the creative thing is just not happening. I thought I would have better luck at the computer in the afternoon, but not true today, Cruiser is all over the desk, then the chair, then the desk again.
The next enlightenment topic is Family and Home with a poem called Roots, by Joyce Kilmer,
Roofs
(For Amelia Josephine Burr)
The road is wide and the stars are out and the breath of the night is sweet,
And this is the time when wanderlust should seize upon my feet.
But I'm glad to turn from the open road and the starlight on my face,
And to leave the splendour of out-of-doors for a human dwelling place.
I never have seen a vagabond who really liked to roam
All up and down the streets of the world and not to have a home:
The tramp who slept in your barn last night and left at break of day
Will wander only until he finds another place to stay.
A gypsy-man will sleep in his cart with canvas overhead;
Or else he'll go into his tent when it is time for bed.
He'll sit on the grass and take his ease so long as the sun is high,
But when it is dark he wants a roof to keep away the sky.
If you call a gypsy a vagabond, I think you do him wrong,
For he never goes a-travelling but he takes his home along.
And the only reason a road is good, as every wanderer knows,
Is just because of the homes, the homes, the homes to which it goes.
They say that life is a highway and its milestones are the years,
And now and then there's a toll-gate where you buy your way with tears.
It's a rough road and a steep road and it stretches broad and far,
But at last it leads to a golden Town where golden Houses are.
A fitting topic for the holidays, I guess. I think I am the gypsy that takes their home with them. I am a bit of a wanderer, or maybe I could call it an explorer or a searcher, but I like to have a home base. Home is where the heart is anyway.
HOME IS WHERE THE HEART IS Lyrics
Artist(Band):Peter, Paul & Mary
Home is where the heart is
No matter how the heart lives
Inside your heart where love is
That's where you've got to make yourself
At home
Four more days until the shortest day of the year, a full moon, and my four month anniversary in Boise. Tonight I'm going out to Winter Garden A Glow.
I have been lazily enjoying the sunshine, although except for my wonderful south-facing back yard, it is still cold. I started reading The African Queen, which isn't just a movie, you know. I started two studies and didn't like either one of them and didn't finish them. I have really, really not been productive. Sometimes the creative thing is just not happening. I thought I would have better luck at the computer in the afternoon, but not true today, Cruiser is all over the desk, then the chair, then the desk again.
The next enlightenment topic is Family and Home with a poem called Roots, by Joyce Kilmer,
Roofs
(For Amelia Josephine Burr)
The road is wide and the stars are out and the breath of the night is sweet,
And this is the time when wanderlust should seize upon my feet.
But I'm glad to turn from the open road and the starlight on my face,
And to leave the splendour of out-of-doors for a human dwelling place.
I never have seen a vagabond who really liked to roam
All up and down the streets of the world and not to have a home:
The tramp who slept in your barn last night and left at break of day
Will wander only until he finds another place to stay.
A gypsy-man will sleep in his cart with canvas overhead;
Or else he'll go into his tent when it is time for bed.
He'll sit on the grass and take his ease so long as the sun is high,
But when it is dark he wants a roof to keep away the sky.
If you call a gypsy a vagabond, I think you do him wrong,
For he never goes a-travelling but he takes his home along.
And the only reason a road is good, as every wanderer knows,
Is just because of the homes, the homes, the homes to which it goes.
They say that life is a highway and its milestones are the years,
And now and then there's a toll-gate where you buy your way with tears.
It's a rough road and a steep road and it stretches broad and far,
But at last it leads to a golden Town where golden Houses are.
A fitting topic for the holidays, I guess. I think I am the gypsy that takes their home with them. I am a bit of a wanderer, or maybe I could call it an explorer or a searcher, but I like to have a home base. Home is where the heart is anyway.
HOME IS WHERE THE HEART IS Lyrics
Artist(Band):Peter, Paul & Mary
Home is where the heart is
No matter how the heart lives
Inside your heart where love is
That's where you've got to make yourself
At home
Four more days until the shortest day of the year, a full moon, and my four month anniversary in Boise. Tonight I'm going out to Winter Garden A Glow.
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Even More Snow
This is the cowboys that I finished last week,
And the next one,
Mary Kay tells me these are Hawthorn berries. Since it has been so cold and gloomy, all I could think about when I painted the orange berries was Bob Ross saying, think happy trees!
It snowed two inches last night and the news today was all about the weather. I called and canceled meeting Laney for coffee and she understood. She had been on the interstate this morning and it was nasty. I went for a walk to take some pictures and get out of the house. People cleared their sidewalks and cars wore tracks in the snow, but the cleared sidewalks and the tire tracks iced over and it was easier to walk in the snow. I figure I won't bother clearing my walkway to the front door.
This guy has the wrong car, too,
I did clear a bit of the back patio so the cats could walk around. They did go out for a bit, but they want me to leave the back door open in case they need a quick escape, and it is just too cold for that. The sun was out all afternoon, which was really nice, even though it was still cold.
Note the November average low for Boise is 32.4° and the average high is 47.5°.
Today the high was 24° and the low predicted to be 3°. Boise had a late Spring and an unseasonably warm October and I think everyone, including me, was expecting a late Winter, not a super cold early one.
The next enlightenment topic is Kindness. The author's selection is a poem by Stephen Crane called "Do Not Weep, Maiden, For War is Kind." This is a cynical poem about war and, as far as I am concerned, off topic. I prefer the Aldous Huxley quote noted by the author in the text. On his deathbed Huxley was asked for his advice to mankind and he answered, "All we need to do is be a little kinder to each other." As we all struggle with the difficulties and emotions and disappointments of the holidays, remember to be kind. This includes the harassed grocery checker, the sister-in-law that sends you out for sweet potatoes on Thanksgiving morning because yams are not good enough, and that grandmother on the road that is driving too slow. This does not include North Korea. War has nothing to do with kindness or unkindness.
And the next one,
Mary Kay tells me these are Hawthorn berries. Since it has been so cold and gloomy, all I could think about when I painted the orange berries was Bob Ross saying, think happy trees!
It snowed two inches last night and the news today was all about the weather. I called and canceled meeting Laney for coffee and she understood. She had been on the interstate this morning and it was nasty. I went for a walk to take some pictures and get out of the house. People cleared their sidewalks and cars wore tracks in the snow, but the cleared sidewalks and the tire tracks iced over and it was easier to walk in the snow. I figure I won't bother clearing my walkway to the front door.
This guy has the wrong car, too,
I did clear a bit of the back patio so the cats could walk around. They did go out for a bit, but they want me to leave the back door open in case they need a quick escape, and it is just too cold for that. The sun was out all afternoon, which was really nice, even though it was still cold.
Note the November average low for Boise is 32.4° and the average high is 47.5°.
Today the high was 24° and the low predicted to be 3°. Boise had a late Spring and an unseasonably warm October and I think everyone, including me, was expecting a late Winter, not a super cold early one.
The next enlightenment topic is Kindness. The author's selection is a poem by Stephen Crane called "Do Not Weep, Maiden, For War is Kind." This is a cynical poem about war and, as far as I am concerned, off topic. I prefer the Aldous Huxley quote noted by the author in the text. On his deathbed Huxley was asked for his advice to mankind and he answered, "All we need to do is be a little kinder to each other." As we all struggle with the difficulties and emotions and disappointments of the holidays, remember to be kind. This includes the harassed grocery checker, the sister-in-law that sends you out for sweet potatoes on Thanksgiving morning because yams are not good enough, and that grandmother on the road that is driving too slow. This does not include North Korea. War has nothing to do with kindness or unkindness.
Friday, November 19, 2010
Children
I started reading The Artist's Way and read about the basic tools. They include writing 3 pages first thing every morning. Three pages of whatever, stream of consciousness stuff. The author calls it a mind-dump, removing all that crappy thinking we all have before the day starts. This sounds like a really good idea. Then there is the artist's date. 2 to 3 hours just you and your artist self (kinda like you and your inner child) doing something the artist self wants to do and replenishing our creative resources. I already get to do this lately, but I thought some of the things the author counted as replenishing were interesting. She counts cooking and any regular, repetitive action, like knitting, as replenishing. I always thought baking bread was nurturing (even more so when it actually rises and is edible) but I did not think of it as nurturing my creativity.
This morning I saw snowflakes falling, although they melted before they hit the ground. I let the cats out this afternoon before it started raining again. They both usually roll around on the patio first, they roll one way, then back, then stand up and do it over again. Poor Cruiser, this afternoon he put his face down to roll, thought better of it since the cement is so cold, put his face down to roll again, thought better of it again, and finally just stood there so I could scratch him.
More rain is predicted tomorrow, then snow Sunday and Monday. Monday's low, 17 degrees, Tuesday's high 21 degrees, Tuesday's low 2 degrees. 2 degrees! That is really cold for November in Boise. At least by Wednesday the sun is supposed to come out. The cold doesn't bother me as much as no sun. Someone this afternoon said that Farmer's Almanac predicted that this Winter is going to be super cold with Boise under a foot and a half of snow. This is what Farmer's Almanac really says about the Intermountain region:
Winter temperatures will be above normal, especially in the south, with the coldest periods in late December, mid-January, and early February. Precipitation will be below normal, with near- to below-normal snowfall. The snowiest periods will occur in early and mid-December and early and late February.
I'm hoping the Farmer's Almanac is right, although they seem to have missed the super cold Thanksgiving week.
I am half-way through the next painting, which is going much faster and is bright colors. For the rest of winter I am only painting bright colors and sunny days.
The holidays are coming and I am missing my daughter, so I am picking my own enlightenment topic today, Children, with a piece from The Prophet by Kahlil Gibran,
Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
You are the bows from which your children
as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
and He bends you with His might
that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable.
I can't say it better. I think it is interesting that my daughter and I used to do a lot of replenishing our creative resources things, like baking. We used to make bread shaped like a teddy bear (which always rose and tasted great) and every Thanksgiving we made an apple pie.
This morning I saw snowflakes falling, although they melted before they hit the ground. I let the cats out this afternoon before it started raining again. They both usually roll around on the patio first, they roll one way, then back, then stand up and do it over again. Poor Cruiser, this afternoon he put his face down to roll, thought better of it since the cement is so cold, put his face down to roll again, thought better of it again, and finally just stood there so I could scratch him.
More rain is predicted tomorrow, then snow Sunday and Monday. Monday's low, 17 degrees, Tuesday's high 21 degrees, Tuesday's low 2 degrees. 2 degrees! That is really cold for November in Boise. At least by Wednesday the sun is supposed to come out. The cold doesn't bother me as much as no sun. Someone this afternoon said that Farmer's Almanac predicted that this Winter is going to be super cold with Boise under a foot and a half of snow. This is what Farmer's Almanac really says about the Intermountain region:
Winter temperatures will be above normal, especially in the south, with the coldest periods in late December, mid-January, and early February. Precipitation will be below normal, with near- to below-normal snowfall. The snowiest periods will occur in early and mid-December and early and late February.
I'm hoping the Farmer's Almanac is right, although they seem to have missed the super cold Thanksgiving week.
I am half-way through the next painting, which is going much faster and is bright colors. For the rest of winter I am only painting bright colors and sunny days.
The holidays are coming and I am missing my daughter, so I am picking my own enlightenment topic today, Children, with a piece from The Prophet by Kahlil Gibran,
Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
You are the bows from which your children
as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
and He bends you with His might
that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable.
I can't say it better. I think it is interesting that my daughter and I used to do a lot of replenishing our creative resources things, like baking. We used to make bread shaped like a teddy bear (which always rose and tasted great) and every Thanksgiving we made an apple pie.
Sunday, November 14, 2010
It's Cold!
I got used to weather in the 50s and 60 seemed warm, then I got used to the 40s and 50 seemed warm, but suddenly yesterday it was in the 30s all day and it was cold! I was out for most of the day and wore my coat, scarf, and gloves. I checked the average temperatures and I only have one more adjustment to make, the average lows in December, January, and February are in the 20s. At least we are back to lows in the 40s this week, starting today, and the predicted highs around 50 will seem warm. That darn warning light in my car went on yesterday morning telling me it was under 37 degrees outside, duh, which reminds me I need to call Toyota and find out why.
Yesterday I went to lunch and then went for coffee. It is that eggnog latte time of year and an eggnog latte tastes better when it is 38 degrees outside. With my latte I got a $1 off coupon for the Festival of Trees, which reminds me that it feels more like the holidays when it is 38 degrees outside. Why is it that cold and snow makes me feel like it is the holidays when I've never experienced cold and snow on the holidays?
I need more hats. I don't look good in hats, but I can't deal with weather in the 20s without a hat. I bought one that looks good enough on me, but it doesn't cover my ears very well. I am currently too vain to buy one of those hats with the ear flaps, but I'm wondering if the next time my ears are cold if I will abandon vanity. I bought a coat a few weeks ago, but now I am not sure it is warm enough, so I am going to test it out today and maybe take it back for something warmer. I already have two warm jackets, including a peacoat, and Mom's 30 year old full-length cashmere coat, but I did not have a casual coat that I could wear over several layers. I had one in Vegas that I just loved, but I finally wore it out.
The next enlightenment topic is Physical Perfection, with an observation by Walt Whitman,
To me , every cubic inch of space is a miracle...
Welcome is every organ and attitude of me...
Not an inch, nor a particle of an inch is vile.
Your physical body is a temple, honor it. I'm finding that this gets harder as I get older and my body seems to be falling apart. My knee can now predict weather changes and I need highlights again, my gray is showing.
This makes me think about my issues with Perfectionism and The Spirituality of Imperfection, which I like better than Wisdom of the Ages. So I will add on the topic of Perfectionism, a conversation between Augustus and Call from Larry McMurtry's Lonesome Dove via The Spirituality of Imperfection,
"You're so sure you're right it doesn't matter to you whether people talk to you at all. I'm glad I've been wrong enough to keep in practice."
"Why would you want to keep in practice being wrong?" Call asked. "I'd think it would be something you'd try to avoid."
"You can't avoid it, you've go to learn to handle it," Augustus said. "If you come face to face with your own mistakes once or twice in your life it's bound to be extra painful. I face mine every day - that way they ain't usually much worse than a dry shave."
Lonesome Dove is a great book, even if you are not looking for spirituality. There are many more passages from other sources on the topic in The Spirituality of Imperfection, but I like the accessibility of this one.
Yesterday I went to lunch and then went for coffee. It is that eggnog latte time of year and an eggnog latte tastes better when it is 38 degrees outside. With my latte I got a $1 off coupon for the Festival of Trees, which reminds me that it feels more like the holidays when it is 38 degrees outside. Why is it that cold and snow makes me feel like it is the holidays when I've never experienced cold and snow on the holidays?
I need more hats. I don't look good in hats, but I can't deal with weather in the 20s without a hat. I bought one that looks good enough on me, but it doesn't cover my ears very well. I am currently too vain to buy one of those hats with the ear flaps, but I'm wondering if the next time my ears are cold if I will abandon vanity. I bought a coat a few weeks ago, but now I am not sure it is warm enough, so I am going to test it out today and maybe take it back for something warmer. I already have two warm jackets, including a peacoat, and Mom's 30 year old full-length cashmere coat, but I did not have a casual coat that I could wear over several layers. I had one in Vegas that I just loved, but I finally wore it out.
The next enlightenment topic is Physical Perfection, with an observation by Walt Whitman,
To me , every cubic inch of space is a miracle...
Welcome is every organ and attitude of me...
Not an inch, nor a particle of an inch is vile.
Your physical body is a temple, honor it. I'm finding that this gets harder as I get older and my body seems to be falling apart. My knee can now predict weather changes and I need highlights again, my gray is showing.
This makes me think about my issues with Perfectionism and The Spirituality of Imperfection, which I like better than Wisdom of the Ages. So I will add on the topic of Perfectionism, a conversation between Augustus and Call from Larry McMurtry's Lonesome Dove via The Spirituality of Imperfection,
"You're so sure you're right it doesn't matter to you whether people talk to you at all. I'm glad I've been wrong enough to keep in practice."
"Why would you want to keep in practice being wrong?" Call asked. "I'd think it would be something you'd try to avoid."
"You can't avoid it, you've go to learn to handle it," Augustus said. "If you come face to face with your own mistakes once or twice in your life it's bound to be extra painful. I face mine every day - that way they ain't usually much worse than a dry shave."
Lonesome Dove is a great book, even if you are not looking for spirituality. There are many more passages from other sources on the topic in The Spirituality of Imperfection, but I like the accessibility of this one.
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