Raccoon?

This is my temporary home, Dad's studio. Cruiser has taken up sleeping on the drafting chair and Spit on the bed. If Sophie is around, Spit sleeps under the covers, and sometimes Cruiser, too, two lumps under the quilt. I've been leaving the outside light on for Spit (and so I can see lurking animals), it attracts bugs and Spit spends the whole night looking out the window at them and whatever else she can see that I can't. We listened to a loud animal fight through the window above the bed the other night, I could not identify the animals (the outside light is on the opposite side of the building and all I could see was darkness) except one animal sounded like a large screeching bird. It sounded right outside the window, but considering how empty it is out here, it could have been far away. The next day we could not find any evidence of a fight, except a bloody paw print in front of the feral cat's food bowl that looked like a raccoon print. Dad was worried about the feral cat, until he emerged from the garage at his usual time that evening without a scratch on him. Now we have a raccoon, in addition to the coyote and the bobcat.


I finished this study of Hazel and it was one of those paintings that starts to look good and I was excited about right away. Today I'm starting a larger painting of Mark and Hazel, next is a larger painting of this one.

The next Wisdom of the Ages topic is from Jesus and fits my painting, Being Childlike,

Except ye be converted and become as little children,
ye shall not enter into the Kingdom of Heaven.

There is a purity and joy in children that we loose as adults. When I paint that in children, I get some of it back in myself.

I explained one of my ideas for creating a market for my paintings of children and Dad asked me why the painting would be better than a photograph. Dad knows perfectly well why it's better and is playing part Devil's Advocate and part telling me this is something I need to be able to articulate, but really, how do you articulate this? The painting has an emotional quality that the photo does not, and I do not know why, although here I have to give deference to my brother John, the photographer, who can take a photo with the same qualities as a painting, but he is a professional.

Dad is making Sunday breakfast, more later.

Painting

Well, as soon as I mentioned it, it decided to be July. It's hot here and the mosquitoes are out. I now have mosquito bites mixed with the spider bites and am covered with tea tree oil. Mosquitoes did not used to like me, but they do now. I got up and did my hair this morning and plucked my eyebrows so Dad could take my picture, but am feeling grateful for Kathleen and my low maintenance haircut. My hair looks great even when I first wake up in the morning and without a blow dry and is a perfect county girl haircut, although I draw the line with eyebrows, even country girls should have two, and no fuzzy legs.

So much for my schedule, the only things on schedule so far are meal times, wake up and go to sleep and nap time, and the cats' supervised strolls. Cats are scheduled to go to the vet for shots Monday, which I should have taken care of before I left LA, since it is now a 20 minute cat car ride each way and I am not looking forward to it.

We have not seen another snake, but I have taken to carrying a stick with me on my cat strolls. I also checked for spiders I should know and learned about the Brown Recluse, which I was happy to see does not live in Idaho or much of California, but you just can't get away from the Black Widow, they are everywhere.







Finished the above 3 studies when I returned from my road trip and the last 2 here. I thought I would try landscapes, something small and fast, and broaden my market. I do not care for the orchids much, funny I've carried around this reference to paint for years and now I don't like it. I'm hoping that I am not going to be happy with 1 out of every 2 paintings, but studies are supposed to be to work things out before starting a larger painting, and also for finding out if it is worth a larger painting, so I should not be preoccupied with the study as an end product. I like the landscapes, but the most recent one is the best one. I'm not sure if that is environment or practice.

Today's topic from Wisdom of the Ages is Triumph, with "The Six Mistakes of Man" by Cicero. Sounds pretty much like accepting the things you cannot change, including your neighbor, and not that interesting. Cicero's enlightenment earned him the chance to be executed and his head and hands displayed at the Forum, so I'm skipping Cicero.

Spiders

This is a picture of Dad's ranch in the morning facing east. The building on the right is my temporary home, the studio. The one on the left is the garage with the guest house above. In the middle, and set down from the road, is the main house. My cats are in the studio and I mostly sleep there, all my clothes and bathroom stuff and a much more comfortable bed are in the guest house, and the only kitchen is in the main house. I brought a coffee maker for the studio, to save me one trip back and forth in the morning, but so far I haven't been using it.



Yesterday I cleaned cobwebs and spiders and cleaned the big front windows in the studio. Dad has one of those brush things on a pole, which was easy to use in the guest house, but in the studio I also had to use a ladder. One thing to remember, when on a ladder, do not swipe at the spiders on the ceiling directly above you. They might come spinning down directly onto your head and you will forget everything you learned about ladder safety. Also, when you knock down 7 spiders, and only find 2 to squish, that means there are 5 roaming around free. I did not fall, but today I have several spider bites.

I stretched some more watercolor paper and am missing my own set up. Dad has a lifetime supply of art supplies, but a crappy utility knife, actually three knives where the blade doesn't fit well, and I could not find the cutting mat. Beggars can't be choosers.



We went to dinner at a neighbor's house last night that I have been trying to avoid. Their house is a modern concrete and steel thing with absolutely the worst feng shui you can imagine. There was an earthquake up here a few years ago that sent a crack through the neighbor's property, and their almost finished house, as if the planet was trying to say, please do not build this here! But they finished it anyway, and even added a pool. When moving from the city to the country, what is the point of bringing the city with you? Good dinner, though, and I did not have to cook it.

Yesterday early morning we had thunder and it looked like monsoon season, which isn't supposed to start until August, and last night we watched the fog roll in over the hills as if June gloom had not ended. When you are unemployed it is hard to remember what day it is, but isn't it July?

The Snake

Finished another study of my brother Mark and his daughter, Hazel:



I was really happy with this one, but I am not sure my reference is good enough to do a painting. It was fun to paint with Mark smirking at me the whole time. This is a typical expression for Mark.

Finished the study and let my cats out for an evening stroll and saw a snake. The snake had it's head down a ground squirrel hole, so I didn't know how big it was or if it was alive. I don't think it had a rattle, but I wasn't going to look too close. I can deal with coyotes, bobcats, spiders, and mice, but I draw the line at snakes. I'm scared of snakes. So, I get the cats inside, no cat dinner for you, Mr. Snake. Then I try to throw rocks at the snake from a safe distance to see if it is alive, or make it go away, or make it's tail rattle, but I am a really terrible shot, I can shoot a soccer ball into a goal with either foot, but I cannot throw a rock within 2 feet of a snake while only standing 10 feet away. Why didn't I have Dad show me how to use his rifle before he left? So later I check and the snake half has moved, so it is alive, and then later I check and it is gone.

It's getting dark, and Dad is out, so I make dinner and watch "The Road," because Dad did not want to watch it again. By the time the movie is over it's really dark, it's a new moon, and I have to walk from the main house to the studio, so I turn on all the outdoor lights and that's not enough, so I get a flashlight to light up any snakes in my way. What I end up lighting up is a bobcat racing from the door of the studio across the yard and down the driveway. She stops and looks back at me and I light her furry bobcat ears up with the flashlight and then she's gone. I don't think the bobcat is interested in my cats, but has acquired a taste for cat food because she's been eating the ferile cat's food in the garage.

Then I try to sleep. Why did I watch that movie! I went to sleep thinking about snakes and Armageddon and wondering at how many stars I can see in the sky out here on a moonless night.

Today I am attacking cobwebs and spiders, I am not afraid of spiders, so I can get some of my power back.

Unemployed

The coyote came back yesterday in the early evening and boldly came close to the house. It seemed to be looking in all of the old ground squirrel holes and not finding anything, because between Dad and Sophie there are not many left. Sophie caught two during our dinner, and these were not at all dead when she found them. I am glad Dad is here to take care of them this time. Spit spent the entire day under the covers after her not all close encounter with the coyote and I was concerned about her ability to adjust to country life, except that as soon as it was time for her evening stroll she was outside in a minute.

I did not get on my schedule yesterday and I am not sure what I did with the day, which made me finally realize I am unemployed. Not just unemployed, but unemployed and ineligible to unemployment. In 2003 I took a job that turned out not to be what was promised, complained about it, and then was harassed for a year as the owner tried to get me to quit. I hung on until I was fired so I could collect unemployment, and because I was righteous and stubborn. I am not sure it was worth it. By the end of the year of harassment, I was so demoralized that I could not pick myself up and get another job or pick another career and instead stayed focused on my anger at the old job. To quit my last job because I am inspired to do something else feels much better, but I may have to stop reading the unemployment news, which is especially bad today.

Today I am more on track and have already transferred the drawings for two small paintings to watercolor paper. One thing to remember, do not smash bugs on the nice clean white stretched paper. I also started cleaning out cabinets in Dad's studio, with permission. I don't know how Dad will ever pack and move this stuff. (There is that wreckage of the future again.) One downside of having a large property with lots of storage is that you never have to throw anything away.

My life in the cold apartment and in the County job seems light years ago already and I have stopped clenching my teeth in my sleep.

Topic #5 is Inspiration by Patanjali,

“When you are inspired by some great purpose, some extraordinary project, all your thoughts break their bonds: Your mind transcends limitations, your consciousness expands in every direction, and you find yourself in a new, great, and wonderful world. Dormant forces, faculties and talents become alive, and you discover yourself to be a greater person by far than you ever dreamed yourself to be.”

This is such a great topic that I think I will stay with it for a few days and add a few more days to achieving enlightenment. The author of the book calls this being "on purpose in life," it is also called flow, or peak experience. For the artist, this state is well known, although sometimes brief, because it is achieved while creating. When I sold my house, which my realtor corrects me was a Short Sale, not a Short pay, I realized I had not painted anything during the entire 6 years I was there. I don't know why, maybe I was too preoccupied with paying the mortgage, maybe I did not see the point. So after I moved out, I started painting again in all of my spare time, which was by then a lot of time, since I could no longer shop or do home improvement. While I worked sometimes I would have arguments with God, where God would remind me he gave me a talent that I should not waste, and I would ask God why he has not allowed me to make a living at it then, and God would tell me just to paint for now and he would take care of the rest. Maybe it took faith I did not have before to just paint for now. There is also for me something about being in that state of purpose that makes it intolerable to walk around in regular life doing purposeless things surrounded by mindless people.

The author of the book reassures me that when I am in a centered state of purpose, what I need will show up. I think for me I will also recognize what I always had and did not notice, because that is already happening.

Intro to Country Living

Dad lives on 120 acres halfway between Paso Robles and Cambria. If I told you 80 acres and Santa Rosa, I was mistaken, but 80 or 120, it is still big, and the road is Santa Rosa Road. It is for sale, if you want to see how beautiful it is, here's the link:

http://www.santarosacreek.com/gallery

The property has 4 buildings, the main house, a guest house over the garage, an art studio and shop, and a barn that houses the water tank. I set my cats up in the studio, since that is where I plan on spending most of my time and it has a futon bed, and my clothes and stuff in the guest house. It should be pretty easy for Dad and I to remain the bachelors we are used to being. Dad also has a dog, Sophie, who has the run of the main house, and a ferile cat, that goes in and out of the garage. Dad and I had a chance to visit when I got here and then he left for a two day golf trip, giving me a great opportunity to recover from a week of packing and moving and not enough sleep.

Spit immediately covered herself in cobwebs while trying to hide in the studio, so yesterday I cleaned. Dad's studio is full of his art, has a drafting table I dream about, and more art supplies than anyone could use in a lifetime. It was also full of cobwebs, spiders, and mouse droppings. I popped one mousetrap, before the cat could get to it, and I don't think Dad thought he had a mouse problem in the studio, but I found a great deal of evidence to the contrary. Just the presence of my cats should take care of mice, but living in the country requires tolerance of spiders. When cleaning in the country, wear shoes. I squished many, many spiders of all sizes while I was cleaning. I did not see any black widows, do not squish black widows, black widows are best suffocated using spray adhesive.

While packing, my to-do list became a to-do pile. One moving tip, keep a to-do bag. This is for your to-do list, bills to pay, the last days of mail, your internet passwords, moving estimate, the cell phone charger, all those last minute things that you can't put away and know you will need and do not want to look all over for wondering where you put them. Everything just goes in the bag. Yesterday I went through the bag and made a new current to-do list and balanced the checkbook. The only thing I forgot to do before I left is pick up the dry cleaning and I think I left my internet passwords at Mom's.

Yesterday late afternoon I watched Sophie stick her head in a ground squirrel hole and pull out a squirrel. There is a big ground squirrel problem on the property and Dad has been poisoning them. (Sorry, Colleen!) So, the squirrel wasn't moving and Sophie is chewing on it and I go after her and she eludes me for a while and I finally find her sitting on the grass gnawing on the dead squirrel. The idea was not to poison Sophie, so I get her away and in the house and give her some dog food and then I go to take care of the dead squirrel. What is Dad doing with the dead squirrels? I can't just put it in the trash, the trash man isn't exactly coming tomorrow to pick it up, do I bury it? No, too much effort and Sophie will just dig it up. Where do I put it where Sophie can't get it again or any other animal? So, Dad has a deer fence around the poisoning area that is rampant with squirrel activity and holes and I took a shovel and picked up the dead squirrel and threw it over the deer fence. It fell part way down one of the holes and is now a warning inside the deer fence of death. Country living is not a life for the squeamish.

My cats cleaned themselves up well, but have found their nocturnal nature and kept me up all night Wednesday night, probably after those mice or a lizard, so I slept in the guest house last night and had my first good night's sleep in weeks.