Exaustion

Let the cats out yesterday morning for their first outdoor visit in 2 years. They are indoor/outdoor cats and went outside at their leisure when I had a house. Cruiser used to sit on the edge of the front yard planter like a guard cat and watch the world go by. They are really attached to me and will not go far without me in sight, do not roam, and are the only cats I've ever had that come when I call their name. They were ferile and 6 weeks old when my daughter convinced me to take them and tame them, there were 4 kittens and I kept two and the other two went together to another family. Spit was the runt, and therefore the most afraid, and a spitter for the first two days until she was tamed, thus the name. Those kittens helped me through the very darkest part of my life. After 2 years of looking out the window or at best a balcony, Cruiser rolled in the dirt and Spit ate grass and Cruiser's tail actually did it's cat version of wagging. I felt so happy I cried.

It was not until I went into Paso Robles to buy cat supplies in the mid-afternoon that I realized how exhausted I am from my move. It is 15 degrees hotter there than at my Dad's and it was so hot that I felt sick and dizzy and went home. I called the long distance mover and reviewed his quote and then decided to give myself the holiday weekend off and relax. I went to the farmer's market in Paso this morning, at 9 am when it was still cool, enjoyed the classic cars which are always all over Paso on a holiday weekend, and bought some berries and another birthday present for Mom.

My friend Colleen gave me a book before I left and I am amazed how appropriate it is for my adventure. It is Wisdom of the Ages by Wayne W. Dyer, 60 Days to Enlightenment, 60 writings by great thinkers and meant to be read one per day. In 60 days I am enlightened, I started Thursday.

1st topic was Meditation. This is the only day with two quotes, one is by Blaise Pascal:
"All man's miseries derive from not being able to sit quietly in a room alone."
I would not be capable of being at my Dad's by myself without being capable of being in a room alone, so I am off to a good start! It does not hurt that I was forced to give up shopping two years ago and be self-supporting by my own contributions or that I gave up TV to save money at the beginning of the year. I did not realize how I used these distractions until they were gone, but it takes courage and practice to turn off the chatter.

2nd topic is Knowing with a writing by Buddha about discarding false beliefs, or beliefs based on the teaching of others, and the experience of knowing, that starts, "Do not believe what you have heard." This strikes me that what I am doing today is discarding beliefs based on others and going to experience what is best for myself. I have never been able to conform much, I try but I cannot do it for very long, but to most people I must sound crazy today. Do you have a job there? No. Friends there? No. Family? Everyone in my family lives in California. Ever lived in snow? No. I also know that going on my adventure is exactly what I am supposed to be doing right now and I don't know where that knowing comes from, but I have no doubts.

Now I am going to either watch the World Cup or take a nap.