I went out yesterday morning and got caught up in the Tour d' Fat. Everyone dresses up themselves and their bikes and rides over to Ann Morrison Park, parades around and drinks beer. There is no theme, actually I think the theme is no theme.
This morning I went over to Julia Davis Park to see how the roses were doing,
I was a bit late and it got too bright out for pictures, late afternoon may be better. The roses seem to be doing fine even with their late start and I was happy to see that they have my favorite old roses, although they were almost done flowering. I had two old roses in the front of my Simi house that I loved, and seeing them today reminded me how much I miss them.
One year ago today I arrived after two tough days of driving and two still alive cats. The house looked better than I remembered and the cats checked out the view and located the best hiding spots. My stuff arrived five days later on the hottest day of the year. Within a few weeks I met some people that I still see today and that I am meeting tomorrow to celebrate. I feel like I've know most of them my whole life. We are going to have coffee and maybe an ice cream at on the patio at Goodies in Hyde Park. I planned it for Monday when it is less crowded, since the summer weekends downtown are packed with everyone trying to be outside while they can.
In some ways I can't believe it has already been a year, but the big changes in seasons seem to mark and slow time. I am interested to see if I have as hard of a time with winter when I am not full of financial fear. It took me almost eight months to find a job. I now have medical insurance, which I don't really care about, but I do care about dental and have an appointment with the dentist in October. It is funny to be looking forward to going to the dentist, but I really am.
The first painting I did after I got here was the study "Over Boise",
and my favorites of the last year and two of the most recent are the mother goose and the fall landscape,
My painting has really grown over the last year. It seems to me to be more confident.
I am still surprised how much I like it here, since my choice seems pretty spontaneous, but I love being in what is really a small town, where people are more private and more real. In all of my driving through beautiful wide open spaces in the last year and a half I keep wondering why people live in cities.
I like being home and I like being on the road to see something new and I like being out with my friends and I like being by myself. I still do not understand the feelings and the urgency that led me here and I don't understand why I am still on the financial edge. I still feel the pain of loss sometimes, like when I saw those old roses this morning and remembered the ones I used to have that I chose and planted and fostered. They say when one door closes, another one opens, but I have not found that to be true for me. Being in Boise feels like a door I opened, but it opened with the benefit of all of the things that happened before it.
With that I will end with verse 79 from the ultimate book of poetry,
Tao Te Ching
A New English Version, with Forward and Notes by Stephen Mitchell
Failure is an opportunity.
If you blame someone else,
There is no end to the blame.
Therefore the Master
Fulfills her own obligations
and corrects her own mistakes.
She does what she needs to do
and demands nothing from others.
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