Arthur Hart writes an Idaho history column that is the Idaho Statesman newspaper every Sunday. They are on-line, here's the link,
http://www.idahostatesman.com/history/
The columns are great and if you check it out, don't miss the historical photo galleries and the handlebar mustached Idaho Militia in the late 1880s.
I received an appointment for an unemployment insurance interview yesterday and I received the claim form today for the past two weeks. My interview is not until a week from next Monday and I am not sure why I have the claim form already. The claim form says a continued claim. That's weird. At least California is efficient about making EDD appointments and sending claim forms.
Everyone I meet is complaining about the weather. It seems warmer to me, in the 40s during the day and usually the sun comes out. I don't know if it is the slightly warmer temperature, or no snow on the ground, or more nature going on in the backyard, but the cats want to go out all the time and they are lingering. Both case the perimeter of the yard, pounce on what seems to be something imaginary, and then stand near the leaf pile and stare. I figure there must be more bug and worm activity going on to amuse them.
I broke down and bought two already made frames from Fast Frame this afternoon that work with two paintings. These were easier to put together myself than the other ones I keep trying to make work and I got those done this afternoon. (Getting these done means cleaning the glass, putting the mat, painting, backing in, and adding the picture wire.) I have two paintings that look OK in the frames I keep trying to make work, but I'm still not happy with them. Remind me never to try to be a framer. Me and the woman at Fast Frame are practically best friends.
You know the story about God sending a boat and a helicopter? The kid tells it at the end of the Pursuit of Happyness. There is a flood and a guy is trapped on the roof of his house and he asks God to save him. A guy comes by on a boat and the trapped guy waives him off saying God will save him. A guy comes by in a helicopter and the trapped guy waives him off saying God will save him. Then the trapped guy drowns. When he gets to heaven, he asks God why he didn't save him and God says, I sent you a boat and helicopter, dummy. When I think about my last kriya experience, I think there are some parts missing to the story. There is really some help offered that you should turn down, like the guy in the leaking boat or the lecherous helicopter pilot who looks like he's not going to take you anywhere you want to go.
Week 4 of the Artist's Way includes no reading. No reading?! How can you go through a day without reading? It makes me think about how much I read, mail, recipes, street signs. I'm going to try it for a day and at least refrain from reading Internet news, but I have to read job listings. I'm sure the point is an awareness of how much I distract myself with reading, and boy, cruising the Internet can be a real time-waster, but I do not think it is really an issue for me. I bet one of the coming weeks includes no TV. TV is a bigger time waster than reading, and much easier to give up.
Saturday, January 29, 2011
Friday, January 28, 2011
On-line Job Applying Sucks
With a little help from my friends, I figure that job escapade is about not selling myself short by taking a job that is not only beneath me, but has no opportunity attached to it. My gut told me it would not help and I tried to ignore it. I got a heavy-handed reminder that my gut was right.
Boise has a job website called Boise Idaho Jobs that is supposed to be local real jobs. This is an alternative to Craigslist, where most of the jobs listed are scams. Boise Idaho Jobs has it's own jobs that do not look legitimate, but they are easy to spot since they show no company name. A few days ago I looked at an HR job on Boise Idaho Jobs that transferred me to another website for HR jobs. I put in my email and then realized I now signed up on another site, did not apply for the job, and the spam in my email skyrocketed. Now I am only applying for the jobs on Boise Idaho Jobs that direct me to the employer's site or let me email them directly.
Wednesday I applied for a job through Careerbuilder and checked the box that posts my resume on Careerbuilder while I was at it. I used the settings that do not allow potential employers to see my name, phone number, address, or direct email. Within a day, I received emails asking me to apply for jobs selling insurance and a phone message about one of them. Then I got an email about a job for route sales for a direct-to-home frozen food delivery company. Then I got one from a payday advance company. All garbage and how did that insurance company get my number?
I also have my personal information on applications all over the place on-line. Some places even want my social security number, which I am not entering. Has anyone considered the amount of personal information they are soliciting and storing that can be accessed and used to steal my identity? I saw something on TV about people checking applicants out on on-line. If you let everyone see your profile on Facebook, potential employers are looking at it and judging who you are. How would they know which one was you? I changed my Facebook profile to be viewed by Friends Only anyway. This appears to be a setting that changes back to Everyone every time Facebook upgrades, which seems to be all of the time.
The internet has completely destroyed the hiring process and on both sides, the employer's and the job seeker's. This sucks.
One of the reasons for the Great Depression, and maybe the only reason, is that we transitioned from one age to another. We transitioned from the Machine Age to the Industrial Age. The Great Depression was a natural part of change and transition. Now we are in another transition, from the Industrial Age to what? Some people call it the Information Age, but I would rather call it the Inhumanity Age. Computers and the Internet take over, no one communicates in person anymore, everyone loses their humanity, humanity is no longer important. The idea behind The Terminator does not seem so fantastic anymore. Obama wants to be able to shut down the Internet in an "emergency"? I say be my guest. Take a look at the creators of the Information Age, Bill Gates, Mark Zuckerberg, these are not great examples of spiritual human beings. Are these the people we will let define the next age?
Mom was supposed to go to Egypt on February 14th. Now it is not looking like she will go, but when I turned on the news this afternoon and saw the rioting I immediately pictured myself negotiating with the US and Egyptian governments for the release of my mother, taken hostage by Egyptian terrorists. She's not even there yet! That's where my mind goes. Even with practice, it is hard to stay in the present. One day at a time.
Boise has a job website called Boise Idaho Jobs that is supposed to be local real jobs. This is an alternative to Craigslist, where most of the jobs listed are scams. Boise Idaho Jobs has it's own jobs that do not look legitimate, but they are easy to spot since they show no company name. A few days ago I looked at an HR job on Boise Idaho Jobs that transferred me to another website for HR jobs. I put in my email and then realized I now signed up on another site, did not apply for the job, and the spam in my email skyrocketed. Now I am only applying for the jobs on Boise Idaho Jobs that direct me to the employer's site or let me email them directly.
Wednesday I applied for a job through Careerbuilder and checked the box that posts my resume on Careerbuilder while I was at it. I used the settings that do not allow potential employers to see my name, phone number, address, or direct email. Within a day, I received emails asking me to apply for jobs selling insurance and a phone message about one of them. Then I got an email about a job for route sales for a direct-to-home frozen food delivery company. Then I got one from a payday advance company. All garbage and how did that insurance company get my number?
I also have my personal information on applications all over the place on-line. Some places even want my social security number, which I am not entering. Has anyone considered the amount of personal information they are soliciting and storing that can be accessed and used to steal my identity? I saw something on TV about people checking applicants out on on-line. If you let everyone see your profile on Facebook, potential employers are looking at it and judging who you are. How would they know which one was you? I changed my Facebook profile to be viewed by Friends Only anyway. This appears to be a setting that changes back to Everyone every time Facebook upgrades, which seems to be all of the time.
The internet has completely destroyed the hiring process and on both sides, the employer's and the job seeker's. This sucks.
One of the reasons for the Great Depression, and maybe the only reason, is that we transitioned from one age to another. We transitioned from the Machine Age to the Industrial Age. The Great Depression was a natural part of change and transition. Now we are in another transition, from the Industrial Age to what? Some people call it the Information Age, but I would rather call it the Inhumanity Age. Computers and the Internet take over, no one communicates in person anymore, everyone loses their humanity, humanity is no longer important. The idea behind The Terminator does not seem so fantastic anymore. Obama wants to be able to shut down the Internet in an "emergency"? I say be my guest. Take a look at the creators of the Information Age, Bill Gates, Mark Zuckerberg, these are not great examples of spiritual human beings. Are these the people we will let define the next age?
Mom was supposed to go to Egypt on February 14th. Now it is not looking like she will go, but when I turned on the news this afternoon and saw the rioting I immediately pictured myself negotiating with the US and Egyptian governments for the release of my mother, taken hostage by Egyptian terrorists. She's not even there yet! That's where my mind goes. Even with practice, it is hard to stay in the present. One day at a time.
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Kriya
So, the job that was not going to help much did not work out and I am still sitting here puzzled about what it means.
I showed up on Monday and worked for three hours. The guy was really disorganized and kept doing things like handing me something to call someone about, except that he knew I did not have a phone. I made some mistakes, partly because I have not worked in so long and partly because I wasn't sure what was expected and I was a bit nervous and then I could not focus on anything because the guy couldn't focus on anything. I was wondering if I was capable of organizing this guy and then at the end of the three hours he says he is allergic to me.
He has some serious allergy problems and after two hours he was getting a sore throat. When I left at noon, he was going to see how he did during the week, but he called later in the day and said he was getting mouth blisters and this is not going to work. He was very nice about it. I figure it's my cats and I feel weird that it was something that I can't change and I'm honestly embarrassed.
I suited up and showed up and I get myself humble and willing even though it is almost insulting how much little help it is going to be and then it doesn't work out and there is nothing that I really did wrong and nothing that I can really do about it. What is this about? As Dave would say, what is the lesson?
I got in to some more action, some more job applications, I picked up the mats I ordered and worked on framing for a while, and kept painting. I met my friend for coffee and vented. I took a bath and cried about it for a while.
Last night I started the Artist's Way, Week 4. She talks about those morning pages and how we learn through them what we really want and become willing to make the changes needed to get it,
"But not without a tantrum. And not without a kriya, a Sanskrit word meaning a spiritual emergency or surrender."
Hey, yea, I just had one of those tantrums, except I thought it was about getting something I did not want. I'm not sure of her definition of kriya, web definitions are:
Kriya (in Sanskrit "action, deed, effort") most commonly refers to a "completed action", technique or practice within a yoga discipline meant to achieve a specific result. Types of kriya may vary widely between different schools of yoga.
A physical, mental, or emotional movement initiated by the awakened kundalini. Kriyas purify the body and nervous system, thus allowing a seeker to experience higher states of consciousness.
An expiatory rite, a cleaning process.
The author gives some examples of kriya, it's like getting the flu right after you've broken up with a bad boyfriend. "Always significant, frequently psychosomatic, kriyas are the final insult our psyche adds to our injuries, Get it? a kriya asks you."
Having the job that I had to really humble myself to take not work out really felt like my psyche adding insult to my injuries! But what is it I am supposed to get? Anyway, I thought that was weird, too, to read about temper tantrums and kriya just as I was experiencing them. I'm hoping this job exercise in futility is about awakened kundalini or a cleaning process, otherwise, unless the lesson is not about me, I just don't get it.
It is past time for a deep meditation. Tonight I think I will sit in meditation and ask the universe, "what do you want!"
I showed up on Monday and worked for three hours. The guy was really disorganized and kept doing things like handing me something to call someone about, except that he knew I did not have a phone. I made some mistakes, partly because I have not worked in so long and partly because I wasn't sure what was expected and I was a bit nervous and then I could not focus on anything because the guy couldn't focus on anything. I was wondering if I was capable of organizing this guy and then at the end of the three hours he says he is allergic to me.
He has some serious allergy problems and after two hours he was getting a sore throat. When I left at noon, he was going to see how he did during the week, but he called later in the day and said he was getting mouth blisters and this is not going to work. He was very nice about it. I figure it's my cats and I feel weird that it was something that I can't change and I'm honestly embarrassed.
I suited up and showed up and I get myself humble and willing even though it is almost insulting how much little help it is going to be and then it doesn't work out and there is nothing that I really did wrong and nothing that I can really do about it. What is this about? As Dave would say, what is the lesson?
I got in to some more action, some more job applications, I picked up the mats I ordered and worked on framing for a while, and kept painting. I met my friend for coffee and vented. I took a bath and cried about it for a while.
Last night I started the Artist's Way, Week 4. She talks about those morning pages and how we learn through them what we really want and become willing to make the changes needed to get it,
"But not without a tantrum. And not without a kriya, a Sanskrit word meaning a spiritual emergency or surrender."
Hey, yea, I just had one of those tantrums, except I thought it was about getting something I did not want. I'm not sure of her definition of kriya, web definitions are:
Kriya (in Sanskrit "action, deed, effort") most commonly refers to a "completed action", technique or practice within a yoga discipline meant to achieve a specific result. Types of kriya may vary widely between different schools of yoga.
A physical, mental, or emotional movement initiated by the awakened kundalini. Kriyas purify the body and nervous system, thus allowing a seeker to experience higher states of consciousness.
An expiatory rite, a cleaning process.
The author gives some examples of kriya, it's like getting the flu right after you've broken up with a bad boyfriend. "Always significant, frequently psychosomatic, kriyas are the final insult our psyche adds to our injuries, Get it? a kriya asks you."
Having the job that I had to really humble myself to take not work out really felt like my psyche adding insult to my injuries! But what is it I am supposed to get? Anyway, I thought that was weird, too, to read about temper tantrums and kriya just as I was experiencing them. I'm hoping this job exercise in futility is about awakened kundalini or a cleaning process, otherwise, unless the lesson is not about me, I just don't get it.
It is past time for a deep meditation. Tonight I think I will sit in meditation and ask the universe, "what do you want!"
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Eagle Hay
I keep forgetting to sign these before I photograph them, so this is a reminder that all images are copyrighted. I also keep forgetting which photographic set-up ends up with the best reproduction of the painting. I try a bunch of camera settings and lightings and pick the best shot, but I have no idea if there is one consistent set-up that I end up using. I guess that's why I'm not a photographer.
This painting gave me the same hard time as the last one, the one of Glenn's Ferry. In both I worked from the top down and intended to leave the foreground loose, but it just didn't look right. So I kept adding detail to the foreground until I liked it. It came out nice, just not as I had originally envisioned. Now I am on to fall leaves. I have another month or two to go out and take pictures of snow, but I am not painting any snow until the weather warms up.
The Art Museum of Eastern Idaho has a show with entries due in May called "Idaho Paints Idaho" for artists living in Idaho and painting Idaho. It is going to be super fun to have lots of work to chose from to enter. So far I like Glenn's Ferry the best. I could paint it bigger for the show, but I am really liking the smaller size that I can almost do in a day. Actually, I could finish it in a day if I could sit still for 8 hours.
It's funny that although I am not working very many hours, the idea of starting work tomorrow made me feel obligated to treat the weekend like a weekend and relax today. We did get some excitement down the street, 7 police cars, an ambulance, and a fire truck. The ambulance was not in any hurry, so maybe someone was dead. The police put up yellow tape around the front of the house and they hung around, and I mean hung around, for several hours, but I don't know the story, yet. I will have to ask one of my neighbors this week. I would have gone out and asked one of the police officers, they did not look busy, but I was on the phone.
The gas bill was higher for last month, $71. The last one was $58. I doesn't seem like it was colder, but I used more gas. Maybe it's those long showers. It is really hard to get out of the shower in the morning.
Saturday, January 22, 2011
Haircut in the Dark and Framing
First thing this morning we had a thick gray fog, then it snowed, then the sun came out and the sky was clear blue all afternoon. I must be in Idaho.
Thursday morning I got my hair cut. Half way through my haircut there was a big boom, the lights went out, then lights on again, then another big boom and the lights went out and stayed out. About a 100 feet from the door were two big smoke plumes. A transformer must have blown. So, my hairdresser finished my haircut using only daylight, sorry no blow dry, and took the rest of the day off.
Thursday afternoon I did my homework for the Artist Way because our meeting was Thursday night. One of the topics for Week 3 in the Artist's Way was anger as motivator, which was a timely topic for me. Another topic was synchronicity, which I'm feeling is not happening for me, so this topic was just irritating.
I could not face talking to another stupid person in HR on Thursday, so Friday I called about the Trinity Health application that went to St. Al's. Their offices are in Michigan and on Friday I called the main number and got transferred to a person right away who could explain what I needed to do and stayed on the phone with me until I got logged on to the right place. She even gave me her number so I could call and double check that my application got through after I sent it. What a relief.
Somebody told me to apply at Healthwise, they said Healthwise has a good reputation as an employer, so I did that Friday, too.
Today I tried to resolve some framing issues. I got an email from the Eagle gallery about first Friday next month and I would like to get some of my landscapes in there. I bought some cheap 11" x 14" wood frames in various finishes on-line last year and I wasn't that happy with them, but it would cost too much to send them back. I do not recommend buying framing on-line. There is never enough description or pictures of the back. These had sawtooth hangers, that no gallery will use, a terrible cardboard back with clips that are supposed to slide in to slots in the inside of the frame, and super-thin Plexiglas. I bought 4 frames and now I have 4 paintings that will look nice in them.
So I went to the framer, ordered some mats and asked her advice on finishing the frame. The worst problem is that with the mat, the painting, and 1/8" form core, the clips do not fit into the most inside slot. These are deep frames, so there is another slot 1/2" away towards the outside of the frame, but that means I need another almost 1/2" of backing to make it fit. Then I went to Home Depot and priced new glass ($3). Decent, thicker glass, will cut in to the 1/2" I need, but I may have to use 3 sheets of foam core. Then I found a place on-line where I can order the picture hanging wire and the wire hangers to attach to the frame. I was hoping for a set of frames where I could change out the paintings if they did not sell, but this system is not working. By the time I get these to work, I might as well have had the framer do it in the first place.
I do like the framer, though. She is my age and old-fashioned like me. We like to see our art supplies, not buy them on-line. Someday soon we are not going to have the option.
Thursday morning I got my hair cut. Half way through my haircut there was a big boom, the lights went out, then lights on again, then another big boom and the lights went out and stayed out. About a 100 feet from the door were two big smoke plumes. A transformer must have blown. So, my hairdresser finished my haircut using only daylight, sorry no blow dry, and took the rest of the day off.
Thursday afternoon I did my homework for the Artist Way because our meeting was Thursday night. One of the topics for Week 3 in the Artist's Way was anger as motivator, which was a timely topic for me. Another topic was synchronicity, which I'm feeling is not happening for me, so this topic was just irritating.
I could not face talking to another stupid person in HR on Thursday, so Friday I called about the Trinity Health application that went to St. Al's. Their offices are in Michigan and on Friday I called the main number and got transferred to a person right away who could explain what I needed to do and stayed on the phone with me until I got logged on to the right place. She even gave me her number so I could call and double check that my application got through after I sent it. What a relief.
Somebody told me to apply at Healthwise, they said Healthwise has a good reputation as an employer, so I did that Friday, too.
Today I tried to resolve some framing issues. I got an email from the Eagle gallery about first Friday next month and I would like to get some of my landscapes in there. I bought some cheap 11" x 14" wood frames in various finishes on-line last year and I wasn't that happy with them, but it would cost too much to send them back. I do not recommend buying framing on-line. There is never enough description or pictures of the back. These had sawtooth hangers, that no gallery will use, a terrible cardboard back with clips that are supposed to slide in to slots in the inside of the frame, and super-thin Plexiglas. I bought 4 frames and now I have 4 paintings that will look nice in them.
So I went to the framer, ordered some mats and asked her advice on finishing the frame. The worst problem is that with the mat, the painting, and 1/8" form core, the clips do not fit into the most inside slot. These are deep frames, so there is another slot 1/2" away towards the outside of the frame, but that means I need another almost 1/2" of backing to make it fit. Then I went to Home Depot and priced new glass ($3). Decent, thicker glass, will cut in to the 1/2" I need, but I may have to use 3 sheets of foam core. Then I found a place on-line where I can order the picture hanging wire and the wire hangers to attach to the frame. I was hoping for a set of frames where I could change out the paintings if they did not sell, but this system is not working. By the time I get these to work, I might as well have had the framer do it in the first place.
I do like the framer, though. She is my age and old-fashioned like me. We like to see our art supplies, not buy them on-line. Someday soon we are not going to have the option.
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
3rd Highest Projected Job Growth - Idaho
Mom sent an article from Time Magazine. (Does anyone read Time Magazine anymore, except my Mom?) It's from January 17, 2011 and titled "Where the Jobs Are." As usual there was a whole lot that I disagreed with, but on the job recovery map that shows growth in employment expected by 2012 by state, Idaho is 3rd! On the map there are three states that are brightest green, reflecting a predicted 5% job growth by 2012. (States get less green as their expected job growth goes down.) Two brightest green states are noted as highest, Utah and Texas. Idaho is the only other brightest green, but is not included as highest, leading me to believe it must be third and I guess just not worth noting.
The sector with the lowest projected job growth is arts, entertainment and recreation and the government sector is pretty low also. Years ago I read an article that stated that my generation would change careers six times in our lifetime. At the time I thought that would be because I would want a change, and that each career would segue into the next. I did not realize that I would change careers six times because I had to, that each career would come to a screeching halt with a long stretch before the next one would start, and that each time I changed I would start at the bottom again.
So, I called Mom yesterday and whined for an hour. Mom is good for that. Turns out my sister-in-law was whining, too. Her clothes dryer broke after 2 1/2 years. I had a clothes dryer only last about 5 and I thought that was bad. The computer chip broke in mine and needed to be replaced for the cost of a new dryer. I bought a new one, simplest, non-computer chip running one I could find.
I know how to work through a resentment. The ones against yourself are the hardest, but the ones against God or the universe or whatever you want to call it are pretty hard. After my temper tantrum and my whining, I took a look at my resentment about the crappy help I'm getting from the universe to get an income. Am I doing everything I can to get an income? Nope. Applying for jobs that I think are beneath me? Nope. Getting my artwork in front of everyone that will look? Nope. I'm thinking I'm not that humble and I'm thinking I am still hesitant to put my work in front of people that will reject it. I am taking the art business pretty slow, and I think that is OK, there is an investment required in it that I can't really afford right now, and mostly I just need to keep painting. The more I paint, the more I give viewers something to like.
So, that means more job applying and a call to the State of Idaho HR that I've been putting off. I started painting first thing yesterday morning and then the phone rang and it was this guy that I start working for on Monday. He said on the news last night Micron announced that they are hiring 120 new people. Micron mostly hires engineers, even their regular jobs end with engineer, but I checked out their website, completed my profile, and applied for five jobs.
Then I called the State of Idaho HR. I asked if there was someone I could talk to about a job I applied for that was put on hold and a job that was filled, but that I received a reject letter for without an opportunity to interview. I gave her the job titles. She could not find them. She asked what department they were with. I said one might be for Health and Welfare and I wasn't sure about the other one. She said some departments have their own HR. She told me I could check the announcement on the website. I explained that I wanted to talk to a person. She tried to tell me that being on a hiring list doesn't mean I will get an interview. I briefly explained civil service law to her. I asked for the number for Health and Welfare HR. She couldn't find it. She gave me two numbers that might work. I got off the phone before I ripped her a new one. Why does this person have a job and not me?!
I checked the email that I received for the job that was put on hold and it had a name and a number. I called that one and left a message asking if the job was still on hold or if she knew how long it will continue to be on hold. I still haven't heard back.
Then I started looking at CostCo. I set up my profile and applied for one job, although they have an "apply for any position" job title and I may send that in tomorrow. Everyone looks happy working at CostCo and they have a whole bit on their site about promoting from within.
Then I applied for a job with Trinity Health, which is somehow associated with the St. Al's hospital system. The job post tells you to apply via Trinity Health's site, which I go to, then I click on the link, which sends me to St Al's employment site. I go ahead and sign on and complete and send the application. Soon I get an email telling me to reapply on Trinity Health's site. I look all over for a phone number so I can talk to someone about their link being wrong and can't find one anywhere. I will tackle that issue tomorrow, too. Today I just could not deal with software issues or one more stupid person who has a job instead of me.
Yesterday I got the reject letter from the Idaho Historical Society and the acceptance letter for the Idaho Watercolor Society's Capitol Building show in March. There is no judging for the Capitol Building show, you just have to preregister your entry, so it is not a big deal, but it will be fun to see Hazel hanging among the white marble in the Capitol Building.
The sector with the lowest projected job growth is arts, entertainment and recreation and the government sector is pretty low also. Years ago I read an article that stated that my generation would change careers six times in our lifetime. At the time I thought that would be because I would want a change, and that each career would segue into the next. I did not realize that I would change careers six times because I had to, that each career would come to a screeching halt with a long stretch before the next one would start, and that each time I changed I would start at the bottom again.
So, I called Mom yesterday and whined for an hour. Mom is good for that. Turns out my sister-in-law was whining, too. Her clothes dryer broke after 2 1/2 years. I had a clothes dryer only last about 5 and I thought that was bad. The computer chip broke in mine and needed to be replaced for the cost of a new dryer. I bought a new one, simplest, non-computer chip running one I could find.
I know how to work through a resentment. The ones against yourself are the hardest, but the ones against God or the universe or whatever you want to call it are pretty hard. After my temper tantrum and my whining, I took a look at my resentment about the crappy help I'm getting from the universe to get an income. Am I doing everything I can to get an income? Nope. Applying for jobs that I think are beneath me? Nope. Getting my artwork in front of everyone that will look? Nope. I'm thinking I'm not that humble and I'm thinking I am still hesitant to put my work in front of people that will reject it. I am taking the art business pretty slow, and I think that is OK, there is an investment required in it that I can't really afford right now, and mostly I just need to keep painting. The more I paint, the more I give viewers something to like.
So, that means more job applying and a call to the State of Idaho HR that I've been putting off. I started painting first thing yesterday morning and then the phone rang and it was this guy that I start working for on Monday. He said on the news last night Micron announced that they are hiring 120 new people. Micron mostly hires engineers, even their regular jobs end with engineer, but I checked out their website, completed my profile, and applied for five jobs.
Then I called the State of Idaho HR. I asked if there was someone I could talk to about a job I applied for that was put on hold and a job that was filled, but that I received a reject letter for without an opportunity to interview. I gave her the job titles. She could not find them. She asked what department they were with. I said one might be for Health and Welfare and I wasn't sure about the other one. She said some departments have their own HR. She told me I could check the announcement on the website. I explained that I wanted to talk to a person. She tried to tell me that being on a hiring list doesn't mean I will get an interview. I briefly explained civil service law to her. I asked for the number for Health and Welfare HR. She couldn't find it. She gave me two numbers that might work. I got off the phone before I ripped her a new one. Why does this person have a job and not me?!
I checked the email that I received for the job that was put on hold and it had a name and a number. I called that one and left a message asking if the job was still on hold or if she knew how long it will continue to be on hold. I still haven't heard back.
Then I started looking at CostCo. I set up my profile and applied for one job, although they have an "apply for any position" job title and I may send that in tomorrow. Everyone looks happy working at CostCo and they have a whole bit on their site about promoting from within.
Then I applied for a job with Trinity Health, which is somehow associated with the St. Al's hospital system. The job post tells you to apply via Trinity Health's site, which I go to, then I click on the link, which sends me to St Al's employment site. I go ahead and sign on and complete and send the application. Soon I get an email telling me to reapply on Trinity Health's site. I look all over for a phone number so I can talk to someone about their link being wrong and can't find one anywhere. I will tackle that issue tomorrow, too. Today I just could not deal with software issues or one more stupid person who has a job instead of me.
Yesterday I got the reject letter from the Idaho Historical Society and the acceptance letter for the Idaho Watercolor Society's Capitol Building show in March. There is no judging for the Capitol Building show, you just have to preregister your entry, so it is not a big deal, but it will be fun to see Hazel hanging among the white marble in the Capitol Building.
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Glenn's Ferry and Self-Acceptance
Here's a better shot of the ponies,
And this is Glenn's Ferry,
Looking at this picture it's hard to imagine Glenn's Ferry is now flooded and half under water, although that is a nice sized river. I had big trouble with the blue of the river. I have 7 tubes of different blue watercolors and still could not quite get the right one. Now I'm working on another landscape, which is going super fast.
The next enlightenment topic is Soul Love, with two poems by William Butler Yeats,
When You are Old
When you are old and grey and full of sleep,
And nodding by the fire, take down this book,
And slowly read, and dream of the soft look
Your eyes had once, and of their shadows deep;
How many loved your moments of glad grace,
And loved your beauty with love false or true,
But one man loved the pilgrim soul in you,
And loved the sorrows of your changing face;
And bending down beside the glowing bars,
Murmur, a little sadly, how Love fled
And paced upon the mountains overhead
And hid his face amid a crowd of stars.
For Anne Gregory
'NEVER shall a young man,
Thrown into despair
By those great honey-coloured
Ramparts at your ear,
Love you for yourself alone
And not your yellow hair.'
'But I can get a hair-dye
And set such colour there,
Brown, or black, or carrot,
That young men in despair
May love me for myself alone
And not my yellow hair.'
'I heard an old religious man
But yesternight declare
That he had found a text to prove
That only God, my dear,
Could love you for yourself alone
And not your yellow hair.'
Yeats appears to have written more above love transcendent of physical beauty than he lived it. I don't want to cut in to Kathleen's business, but enlightened people love the person inside, not the color of their hair, and that goes for loving yourself, too, even though that grey is really starting to shine through.
It is a bit of a stretch, but when discussing this topic the author author brings up Mazlow's idea of self-actualization. Mazlow believed that self-actualization was a mans' highest need. Maslow also identified some of the key characteristics of self-actualized people:
Self-Acceptance and Democratic World View
Self-actualized people tend to accept themselves and others as they are. They tend to lack inhibition and are able to enjoy themselves and their lives free of guilt. Other people are treated the same regardless of background, current status or other socio-economic and cultural factors.
Realistic
Another major characteristic of self-actualized people is a sense of realism. Rather than being fearful of things that are different or unknown, the self-actualized individual is able to view things logically and rationally.
Problem-Centered
Self-actualized individuals are often motivated by a strong sense of personal ethics and responsibility. They enjoy solving real-world problems and are often concerned with helping other people improve their own lives.
Peak Experiences
Self-actualization is also characterized by having frequent peak experiences. What exactly is a peak experience? According to Maslow, these "Feelings of limitless horizons opening up to the vision, the feeling of being simultaneously more powerful and also more helpless than one ever was before, the feeling of ecstasy and wonder and awe, the loss of placement in time and space with, finally, the conviction that something extremely important and valuable had happened, so that the subject was to some extent transformed and strengthened even in his daily life by such experiences."
Autonomy
The self-actualized individual does not conform to other people's ideas of happiness or contentment. This original perspective allows the individual to live in the moment and appreciate the beauty of each experience.
Solitude and Privacy
Self-actualized individuals value their privacy and enjoy solitude. While they also love the company of others, taking time to themselves is essential for personal discovery and cultivating individual potential.
Philosophical Sense of Humor
Self-actualized individuals generally have a thoughtful sense of humor. They are able to enjoy the humor in situations and laugh at themselves, but they do not ridicule or make fun at the expense of another person's feelings.
Spontaneity
Another characteristic of self-actualized people is a tendency to be open, unconventional and spontaneous. While these people are able to follow generally accepted social expectations, they do not feel confined by these norms in their thoughts or behaviors.
(From Characteristics of Self-Actualized People, Common Traits of Self-Actualized Individuals By Kendra Cherry, About.com Guide)
I suppose self-actualized people are more able to see past an exterior to the beauty within, due to self-acceptance, since if you are judging another's exterior it is probably because you are judging your own. I never thought of myself as a self-actualized person. When I read this list years ago it made me cry, because it seemed so unachievable to me. Now it does not seem so far away and I seem to be in the middle of a peak experience. If I don't get an income soon, though, I am going to have to move down Maslow's hierarchy of needs to things more basic.
And this is Glenn's Ferry,
Looking at this picture it's hard to imagine Glenn's Ferry is now flooded and half under water, although that is a nice sized river. I had big trouble with the blue of the river. I have 7 tubes of different blue watercolors and still could not quite get the right one. Now I'm working on another landscape, which is going super fast.
The next enlightenment topic is Soul Love, with two poems by William Butler Yeats,
When You are Old
When you are old and grey and full of sleep,
And nodding by the fire, take down this book,
And slowly read, and dream of the soft look
Your eyes had once, and of their shadows deep;
How many loved your moments of glad grace,
And loved your beauty with love false or true,
But one man loved the pilgrim soul in you,
And loved the sorrows of your changing face;
And bending down beside the glowing bars,
Murmur, a little sadly, how Love fled
And paced upon the mountains overhead
And hid his face amid a crowd of stars.
For Anne Gregory
'NEVER shall a young man,
Thrown into despair
By those great honey-coloured
Ramparts at your ear,
Love you for yourself alone
And not your yellow hair.'
'But I can get a hair-dye
And set such colour there,
Brown, or black, or carrot,
That young men in despair
May love me for myself alone
And not my yellow hair.'
'I heard an old religious man
But yesternight declare
That he had found a text to prove
That only God, my dear,
Could love you for yourself alone
And not your yellow hair.'
Yeats appears to have written more above love transcendent of physical beauty than he lived it. I don't want to cut in to Kathleen's business, but enlightened people love the person inside, not the color of their hair, and that goes for loving yourself, too, even though that grey is really starting to shine through.
It is a bit of a stretch, but when discussing this topic the author author brings up Mazlow's idea of self-actualization. Mazlow believed that self-actualization was a mans' highest need. Maslow also identified some of the key characteristics of self-actualized people:
Self-Acceptance and Democratic World View
Self-actualized people tend to accept themselves and others as they are. They tend to lack inhibition and are able to enjoy themselves and their lives free of guilt. Other people are treated the same regardless of background, current status or other socio-economic and cultural factors.
Realistic
Another major characteristic of self-actualized people is a sense of realism. Rather than being fearful of things that are different or unknown, the self-actualized individual is able to view things logically and rationally.
Problem-Centered
Self-actualized individuals are often motivated by a strong sense of personal ethics and responsibility. They enjoy solving real-world problems and are often concerned with helping other people improve their own lives.
Peak Experiences
Self-actualization is also characterized by having frequent peak experiences. What exactly is a peak experience? According to Maslow, these "Feelings of limitless horizons opening up to the vision, the feeling of being simultaneously more powerful and also more helpless than one ever was before, the feeling of ecstasy and wonder and awe, the loss of placement in time and space with, finally, the conviction that something extremely important and valuable had happened, so that the subject was to some extent transformed and strengthened even in his daily life by such experiences."
Autonomy
The self-actualized individual does not conform to other people's ideas of happiness or contentment. This original perspective allows the individual to live in the moment and appreciate the beauty of each experience.
Solitude and Privacy
Self-actualized individuals value their privacy and enjoy solitude. While they also love the company of others, taking time to themselves is essential for personal discovery and cultivating individual potential.
Philosophical Sense of Humor
Self-actualized individuals generally have a thoughtful sense of humor. They are able to enjoy the humor in situations and laugh at themselves, but they do not ridicule or make fun at the expense of another person's feelings.
Spontaneity
Another characteristic of self-actualized people is a tendency to be open, unconventional and spontaneous. While these people are able to follow generally accepted social expectations, they do not feel confined by these norms in their thoughts or behaviors.
(From Characteristics of Self-Actualized People, Common Traits of Self-Actualized Individuals By Kendra Cherry, About.com Guide)
I suppose self-actualized people are more able to see past an exterior to the beauty within, due to self-acceptance, since if you are judging another's exterior it is probably because you are judging your own. I never thought of myself as a self-actualized person. When I read this list years ago it made me cry, because it seemed so unachievable to me. Now it does not seem so far away and I seem to be in the middle of a peak experience. If I don't get an income soon, though, I am going to have to move down Maslow's hierarchy of needs to things more basic.
Sunday, January 16, 2011
Paperwhites and Part-Time Work
The crocus that I planted in the backyard are just barely peeking through the ground and the paperwhites are blooming,
The paperwhites are smelling up the house. One thing I miss about mild weather is that I can't open a window here whenever I want and air out the house. Last night the house was filled with the smell of baked bread, homemade lentil soup, and paperwhites, which is a bit weird.
The house two doors down that they worked on for almost four months is for sale with Exit Realty,
$129,900 for 1714 square feet, 4 bedroom, 2 bath. Based on the pictures they fixed it up nice, but it really is an ugly house, and it seems overpriced for Boise.
Friday it went back and forth between sun and rain and I made the mistake of going out in my wool coat. It wasn't raining and I was ready for a break from my raincoat. When I came home it was pouring rain. I did remember my gloves and hat, although I tried to lose my hat by dropping it while trying to put on my gloves on the way in to the restaurant. Good thing my cold head told me to look for it right away. Saturday it just rained all day, but today the sun was out and it was over 50 degrees by noon! It felt really warm and the dreaded temperature warning light in my car stayed off.
When I suddenly had no credit and not much cash, I started cooking. I could not afford to eat out or to buy convenience foods. I planned out meals and went to the grocery store and treated trying to spend as little as possible as a personal challenge. The personal challenge part worked for a few weeks and then really it just was miserable, but I did start to cook more and I stopped throwing food away. When I started to pay attention, I was amazed at how much food I used to throw away. Now I am still poor and still really careful at the grocery store, but I like cooking, it is somehow soothing, like the Zen of baking bread.
Almost anything you need to know about cooking you can find in the Joy of Cooking, but I also like my Good Housekeeping Illustrated Cookbook. I've been working on perfecting lentil soup and combining a few recipes in order to get it right, which I finally did Sunday. I made cheese bread again to go with it. I'm not sure if baking your own bread is any cheaper right now than buying it already baked and sliced in the grocery store, but I think it is going to be really soon. My sweet tooth that I acquired for the holidays has not gone away and I was admiring the fudge sauce in the store, but could not justify buying it, so I made my own last week. It is really easy and I already had all of the ingredients. Having fudge sauce available has tempered my chocolate obsession, so it should last a long time, unless Dad comes over. Next time I going to try making caramel sauce.
I went to my meeting for part time work this morning. I've learned enough humility to just go and do my best and have a good attitude and let things work out how they will, which is what I did this morning. He seemed like a good guy and his office on the 11th floor of the Banner Bank building downtown has awesome views. His office is one of those shared deals, separate businesses sharing a receptionist and support staff. So, I start Monday at 9 am, $10 hour, 3 hours a day Monday through Friday and I am honestly pissed off.
Really, God, really? Is that the best you can do?! That is not going to help much. It doesn't buy me much time. Maybe it will pay for me to finally go to the dentist. I will have to look for other part time jobs or keep looking and hope for the full time one to come through soon. It was almost one of those jobs that you can't afford to take. So, I came home and cleaned house and had my version of a temper tantrum by myself.
I finished another painting, this one of Glenn's Ferry, which I will post tomorrow. Two drawings are transferred to paper, ready to start, and I will get to that tomorrow, too. Tonight I will work on getting over that temper tantrum.
The paperwhites are smelling up the house. One thing I miss about mild weather is that I can't open a window here whenever I want and air out the house. Last night the house was filled with the smell of baked bread, homemade lentil soup, and paperwhites, which is a bit weird.
The house two doors down that they worked on for almost four months is for sale with Exit Realty,
$129,900 for 1714 square feet, 4 bedroom, 2 bath. Based on the pictures they fixed it up nice, but it really is an ugly house, and it seems overpriced for Boise.
Friday it went back and forth between sun and rain and I made the mistake of going out in my wool coat. It wasn't raining and I was ready for a break from my raincoat. When I came home it was pouring rain. I did remember my gloves and hat, although I tried to lose my hat by dropping it while trying to put on my gloves on the way in to the restaurant. Good thing my cold head told me to look for it right away. Saturday it just rained all day, but today the sun was out and it was over 50 degrees by noon! It felt really warm and the dreaded temperature warning light in my car stayed off.
When I suddenly had no credit and not much cash, I started cooking. I could not afford to eat out or to buy convenience foods. I planned out meals and went to the grocery store and treated trying to spend as little as possible as a personal challenge. The personal challenge part worked for a few weeks and then really it just was miserable, but I did start to cook more and I stopped throwing food away. When I started to pay attention, I was amazed at how much food I used to throw away. Now I am still poor and still really careful at the grocery store, but I like cooking, it is somehow soothing, like the Zen of baking bread.
Almost anything you need to know about cooking you can find in the Joy of Cooking, but I also like my Good Housekeeping Illustrated Cookbook. I've been working on perfecting lentil soup and combining a few recipes in order to get it right, which I finally did Sunday. I made cheese bread again to go with it. I'm not sure if baking your own bread is any cheaper right now than buying it already baked and sliced in the grocery store, but I think it is going to be really soon. My sweet tooth that I acquired for the holidays has not gone away and I was admiring the fudge sauce in the store, but could not justify buying it, so I made my own last week. It is really easy and I already had all of the ingredients. Having fudge sauce available has tempered my chocolate obsession, so it should last a long time, unless Dad comes over. Next time I going to try making caramel sauce.
I went to my meeting for part time work this morning. I've learned enough humility to just go and do my best and have a good attitude and let things work out how they will, which is what I did this morning. He seemed like a good guy and his office on the 11th floor of the Banner Bank building downtown has awesome views. His office is one of those shared deals, separate businesses sharing a receptionist and support staff. So, I start Monday at 9 am, $10 hour, 3 hours a day Monday through Friday and I am honestly pissed off.
Really, God, really? Is that the best you can do?! That is not going to help much. It doesn't buy me much time. Maybe it will pay for me to finally go to the dentist. I will have to look for other part time jobs or keep looking and hope for the full time one to come through soon. It was almost one of those jobs that you can't afford to take. So, I came home and cleaned house and had my version of a temper tantrum by myself.
I finished another painting, this one of Glenn's Ferry, which I will post tomorrow. Two drawings are transferred to paper, ready to start, and I will get to that tomorrow, too. Tonight I will work on getting over that temper tantrum.
Saturday, January 15, 2011
Rain
Wednesday was one of those days where you wished it would just rain already. Thursday it finally did, all day. Friday it let up enough for the cats to go out a bunch of times and we were all less restless. Over 40 degrees now feels really warm. This morning is one of those beautiful misty pink/mauve/blue mornings. I should get a picture of dawn soon, while it is at 8 am instead of 6 am.
I bought the safety razor with the blades that the website offered and without doing any research on the blades. It took two days of seriously nicking myself before I did. The first day I thought I was just out of practice. The second day I was glad it was Winter, because my legs were a nicked up mess. It turns out I bought the sharpest, thinnest blades, the ones everyone warns against. So now I am testing blades. Stay away from Feather blades, made in Japan.
I'm not much for deteriorating relationship movies, but Blue Valentine had the best closing credits I've seen in a long time. They are done to "Alligator" by Grizzly Bear. Grizzly Bear's Veckatimest CD is worth checking out. I'm also not much for Harry Potter movies, although I loved the books, but there is an amazing surprise animation sequence in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part I. It tells the “Tale of the Three Brothers” and how one cheats death. It looks like silhouette stop-motion animation of the 20s and is both beautiful and creepy.
My meeting/interview with my friend's friend with some part time work this month is on Monday. It is personal assistant kind of stuff and a tax prep and filing company. I do not expect it to be much money, but I'm hoping that I can ease myself back into working and earn myself a local work reference. The guy is supposed to be pretty nice and knows a lot of people in Boise. This also buys me some time so one of those applications I did over the last few months can actually turn into a job.
Applying for jobs on gloomy days was really depressing. Idaho posted more jobs that are just like what I used to do and I am going to go ahead and put in applications for those, but then I am laying off job applications for the weekend. I'm having dinner with Mary Kay tonight and I think a day of painting and a long walk and dinner with Mary Kay will cheer me up.
I bought the safety razor with the blades that the website offered and without doing any research on the blades. It took two days of seriously nicking myself before I did. The first day I thought I was just out of practice. The second day I was glad it was Winter, because my legs were a nicked up mess. It turns out I bought the sharpest, thinnest blades, the ones everyone warns against. So now I am testing blades. Stay away from Feather blades, made in Japan.
I'm not much for deteriorating relationship movies, but Blue Valentine had the best closing credits I've seen in a long time. They are done to "Alligator" by Grizzly Bear. Grizzly Bear's Veckatimest CD is worth checking out. I'm also not much for Harry Potter movies, although I loved the books, but there is an amazing surprise animation sequence in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part I. It tells the “Tale of the Three Brothers” and how one cheats death. It looks like silhouette stop-motion animation of the 20s and is both beautiful and creepy.
My meeting/interview with my friend's friend with some part time work this month is on Monday. It is personal assistant kind of stuff and a tax prep and filing company. I do not expect it to be much money, but I'm hoping that I can ease myself back into working and earn myself a local work reference. The guy is supposed to be pretty nice and knows a lot of people in Boise. This also buys me some time so one of those applications I did over the last few months can actually turn into a job.
Applying for jobs on gloomy days was really depressing. Idaho posted more jobs that are just like what I used to do and I am going to go ahead and put in applications for those, but then I am laying off job applications for the weekend. I'm having dinner with Mary Kay tonight and I think a day of painting and a long walk and dinner with Mary Kay will cheer me up.
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
IWS Dinner
Christelle gave me paperwhite bulbs for Christmas and here they are sprouting away,
The basil is hanging on to life. Despite the seemingly sunny window, this spot is really pretty cold. My friend Coco sent me links to his gardening blogs. He lives in Italy and unfortunately I cannot use any of his useful gardening information in Idaho. I wondered if I still needed to water outdoor plants here during Winter and I have two plants in pots, so I tried to water them. The soil in the pots was too frozen to absorb any water, so the water I poured in just sat there on the top of the soil surface for hours until it just froze over into a sheet of ice. I'm thinking that means you do not bother to water plants in freezing temperatures in Winter.
I like my 2011 horoscope:
Aries Year Ahead 2011
Aries: (Mar. 20-Apr.19): this year you become the hippie of our generation, the earth mother, the father who gives up corporate America to find himself. Making life simpler, healthier and finding your bliss Aries radically changes lifestyles. It's not about pleasing everyone else, it's about pleasing yourself. How surprised or shocked will those around you be to see your transformation?
I disagree with the hippie analogy and the selfishness reference, but like the general idea. I would call it finding my center, rather than bliss, and being a pioneer, rather than a hippie.
The IWS (Idaho Watercolor Society) dinner was just great. It was held at someone's house that must be in the Beverly Hills of Idaho. It was a huge custom built house in a neighborhood of the same in a northern part of Boise. The host did not appear to have a husband and I asked someone if the host paid for her house with her art. Nope, it was paid for with a healthy insurance settlement. Oh well, one can dream.
I was, as usual, probably the youngest person in the room, but mostly had a great feeling of "these are my people." They were a friendly, welcoming group and I, once again, got to practice my new openness. I met Dwight Williams, who also shows at the Eagle gallery, and who reminded me of Dad. He told a great story about he and his brother growing up in a tornado-belt of the mid-west. They see a tornado coming, but it's not touching ground, so they decide to lay down so they can look up and watch the tornado overhead. Watch a tornado overhead?! They couldn't even open their eyes due to all the flying dirt and debris. He said he was about 13 then, sounds like 13 year old boy stuff.
The IWS dinner included a painting exchange. You bring a wrapped painting, matted but not framed, which gets a number. Everyone picks numbers and you get someone else's painting with that number. I brought the Hazel looking through the fence study. It was hard to pick something I was willing to part with for free, but that I also considered good enough to impress. I got a painting by Mark W. McGinnis, who is also new to Boise and here after teaching for many years at Northern State University, Aberdeen, South Dakota.
http://www.markwmcginnis.com/index.html
He appears to have many styles, but my painting is similar to the iris in the series he calls Watercolor Sketching, except it is a yellow calla lily. It is dated 6/26/2010, which I thought was remarkable, since that is the date my lease expired on my TO apartment and almost the date I move out of Thousand Oaks.
http://www.markwmcginnis.com/watercolor%20sketching.html
I met several people that teach and give workshops and other artists that exhibit at the Eagle gallery and learned about other art societies and places to exhibit. There is an art gallery in the Meridian City Hall (Meridian is next door to Boise) and many IWS members also belong to the Meridian Arts Commission. I met Laurie Asahara, who came here from Hawaii and has been in Idaho for four years. She encouraged me to keep quiet about Idaho, fly under the radar, and she appears to also know how to paint people,
http://laurieasahara.blogspot.com/
Between eating chocolate pudding cake for someone's 90th birthday at noon and the warmth of the IWS dinner, I ended yesterday feeling content, humble, and hopeful. Even after eating chocolate again at the dinner, and drinking too much coffee all day and night, I went right to sleep.
The basil is hanging on to life. Despite the seemingly sunny window, this spot is really pretty cold. My friend Coco sent me links to his gardening blogs. He lives in Italy and unfortunately I cannot use any of his useful gardening information in Idaho. I wondered if I still needed to water outdoor plants here during Winter and I have two plants in pots, so I tried to water them. The soil in the pots was too frozen to absorb any water, so the water I poured in just sat there on the top of the soil surface for hours until it just froze over into a sheet of ice. I'm thinking that means you do not bother to water plants in freezing temperatures in Winter.
I like my 2011 horoscope:
Aries Year Ahead 2011
Aries: (Mar. 20-Apr.19): this year you become the hippie of our generation, the earth mother, the father who gives up corporate America to find himself. Making life simpler, healthier and finding your bliss Aries radically changes lifestyles. It's not about pleasing everyone else, it's about pleasing yourself. How surprised or shocked will those around you be to see your transformation?
I disagree with the hippie analogy and the selfishness reference, but like the general idea. I would call it finding my center, rather than bliss, and being a pioneer, rather than a hippie.
The IWS (Idaho Watercolor Society) dinner was just great. It was held at someone's house that must be in the Beverly Hills of Idaho. It was a huge custom built house in a neighborhood of the same in a northern part of Boise. The host did not appear to have a husband and I asked someone if the host paid for her house with her art. Nope, it was paid for with a healthy insurance settlement. Oh well, one can dream.
I was, as usual, probably the youngest person in the room, but mostly had a great feeling of "these are my people." They were a friendly, welcoming group and I, once again, got to practice my new openness. I met Dwight Williams, who also shows at the Eagle gallery, and who reminded me of Dad. He told a great story about he and his brother growing up in a tornado-belt of the mid-west. They see a tornado coming, but it's not touching ground, so they decide to lay down so they can look up and watch the tornado overhead. Watch a tornado overhead?! They couldn't even open their eyes due to all the flying dirt and debris. He said he was about 13 then, sounds like 13 year old boy stuff.
The IWS dinner included a painting exchange. You bring a wrapped painting, matted but not framed, which gets a number. Everyone picks numbers and you get someone else's painting with that number. I brought the Hazel looking through the fence study. It was hard to pick something I was willing to part with for free, but that I also considered good enough to impress. I got a painting by Mark W. McGinnis, who is also new to Boise and here after teaching for many years at Northern State University, Aberdeen, South Dakota.
http://www.markwmcginnis.com/index.html
He appears to have many styles, but my painting is similar to the iris in the series he calls Watercolor Sketching, except it is a yellow calla lily. It is dated 6/26/2010, which I thought was remarkable, since that is the date my lease expired on my TO apartment and almost the date I move out of Thousand Oaks.
http://www.markwmcginnis.com/watercolor%20sketching.html
I met several people that teach and give workshops and other artists that exhibit at the Eagle gallery and learned about other art societies and places to exhibit. There is an art gallery in the Meridian City Hall (Meridian is next door to Boise) and many IWS members also belong to the Meridian Arts Commission. I met Laurie Asahara, who came here from Hawaii and has been in Idaho for four years. She encouraged me to keep quiet about Idaho, fly under the radar, and she appears to also know how to paint people,
http://laurieasahara.blogspot.com/
Between eating chocolate pudding cake for someone's 90th birthday at noon and the warmth of the IWS dinner, I ended yesterday feeling content, humble, and hopeful. Even after eating chocolate again at the dinner, and drinking too much coffee all day and night, I went right to sleep.
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Safety Razor and Humility
It snowed a bit overnight on Sunday night and the snow honestly cheered me up. If it is going to be so cold, there might as well be a quiet blanket of snow. The weatherman was predicting snow for several days that never happened, and is predicting snow today, except the sun is out with not a cloud in the sky. Being a weatherman in Idaho is a tough job.
My brother Dave sent me a check for Christmas and with it I bought that safety razor I've been wanting for more than a year. You remember safety razors? The razor that opens like a butterfly and you put the double-edged blade in? I figured since I was using a gift check, I could break my "no shopping in January" vow. I had to order it on-line, since they do not sell these in stores anymore.
When I went through the lesson of having no credit and having to pay cash for everything and not having much cash, I noticed how expensive replacement blades are for razors now. 8 blades for $15!? Besides being expensive, and despite now having 3 or 4 or even 5 blades-in-one, these do not seem to work as well or last as long as they used to. When did this change? I guess the new kind of razor is called a cartridge razor and they are now a rip-off. I thought this might be due to some safety regulation, except I did not have any trouble ordering a safety razor, so now I figure it is a corporate profit thing. (Why let people buy 10 blades for $5 when they can convince them to buy 8 for $15?) So now I have a razor that will last forever, 10 replacement blades for $5, and hey, I'm being "green" and throwing less away. (For the record, the razor was made in India and the blades in Japan.) It is going to take a while to get used to the safety razor, though. I got used to not being very careful with cartridge and disposable razors, since they are so dull, but these are sharp!
I heard recently that cats can make up to 30 different sounds and I think little Spit makes all of them. I've never heard a cat make so many different noises, from a squeaky purr to chirping to big sighs, but it used to be just Cruiser that made the whole-hearted, lowd, whiny howl. That is until this week. This week Spit decided that if she does not have her brushing by 6 pm she will wander around downstairs howling as if in a panic with brief looks at me as if the world is coming to an end. Yesterday I was finishing a job application when she started. Once I finished the application and sat down to brush her, it only took a few minutes of brushing to calm her down and then she was purring and laying across my lap and content. I'm hoping this is a "I am super bored with Winter" phase.
I thought that I was approaching this new round of job applications with some humility, until someone brought it up yesterday. I think that it is impossible to talk about humility without sounding less than humble, but I thought about the idea of doing the footwork and staying out of the results that I've heard so much. To me, that means always doing your best and then letting God, or the universe or whatever you believe in, take care of the results. Always doing the best that you can at the time prevents regret (or a resentment against yourself) and keeps you from trying to control results that you really have no control over. It keeps me in self-esteem and out of pride. With this next round of job applications I was really feeling like I should not have to do the footwork, I've done enough already!
Mahatma Gandhi associates Humility with Truth,
What is truth? A difficult question, but I have solved it for myself, by saying that it is what the voice within tells you.
All that I can, in true humility, present to you is that Truth is not to be found by anybody, who has not got an abundant sense of humility. If you would swim on the bosom of the ocean of Truth, you must reduce yourself to a zero.
Truth is within ourselves. There is an inmost centre in us all, where Truth abides in fullness. Every wrong-doer knows within himself that he is doing wrong for untruth cannot be mistaken for Truth. The law of Truth is merely understood to mean that we must speak the truth. But we understand the word in much wider sense. There should be Truth in thought, Truth in speech, and Truth in action.
[From the book, "Light of India or Message of Mahatmaji" by M. S. Deshpande.]
Today I am continuing with job applications, with a break for someone's 90th birthday cake and the Idaho Watercolor Society's welcome dinner, with a more humble attitude. My friend that went back to Bellingham, Washington worked for a guy here in Boise, who has more work this month. I called him and he is back in town on Thursday, so hopefully we can meet later this week. Tomorrow I am letting myself paint.
My brother Dave sent me a check for Christmas and with it I bought that safety razor I've been wanting for more than a year. You remember safety razors? The razor that opens like a butterfly and you put the double-edged blade in? I figured since I was using a gift check, I could break my "no shopping in January" vow. I had to order it on-line, since they do not sell these in stores anymore.
When I went through the lesson of having no credit and having to pay cash for everything and not having much cash, I noticed how expensive replacement blades are for razors now. 8 blades for $15!? Besides being expensive, and despite now having 3 or 4 or even 5 blades-in-one, these do not seem to work as well or last as long as they used to. When did this change? I guess the new kind of razor is called a cartridge razor and they are now a rip-off. I thought this might be due to some safety regulation, except I did not have any trouble ordering a safety razor, so now I figure it is a corporate profit thing. (Why let people buy 10 blades for $5 when they can convince them to buy 8 for $15?) So now I have a razor that will last forever, 10 replacement blades for $5, and hey, I'm being "green" and throwing less away. (For the record, the razor was made in India and the blades in Japan.) It is going to take a while to get used to the safety razor, though. I got used to not being very careful with cartridge and disposable razors, since they are so dull, but these are sharp!
I heard recently that cats can make up to 30 different sounds and I think little Spit makes all of them. I've never heard a cat make so many different noises, from a squeaky purr to chirping to big sighs, but it used to be just Cruiser that made the whole-hearted, lowd, whiny howl. That is until this week. This week Spit decided that if she does not have her brushing by 6 pm she will wander around downstairs howling as if in a panic with brief looks at me as if the world is coming to an end. Yesterday I was finishing a job application when she started. Once I finished the application and sat down to brush her, it only took a few minutes of brushing to calm her down and then she was purring and laying across my lap and content. I'm hoping this is a "I am super bored with Winter" phase.
I thought that I was approaching this new round of job applications with some humility, until someone brought it up yesterday. I think that it is impossible to talk about humility without sounding less than humble, but I thought about the idea of doing the footwork and staying out of the results that I've heard so much. To me, that means always doing your best and then letting God, or the universe or whatever you believe in, take care of the results. Always doing the best that you can at the time prevents regret (or a resentment against yourself) and keeps you from trying to control results that you really have no control over. It keeps me in self-esteem and out of pride. With this next round of job applications I was really feeling like I should not have to do the footwork, I've done enough already!
Mahatma Gandhi associates Humility with Truth,
What is truth? A difficult question, but I have solved it for myself, by saying that it is what the voice within tells you.
All that I can, in true humility, present to you is that Truth is not to be found by anybody, who has not got an abundant sense of humility. If you would swim on the bosom of the ocean of Truth, you must reduce yourself to a zero.
Truth is within ourselves. There is an inmost centre in us all, where Truth abides in fullness. Every wrong-doer knows within himself that he is doing wrong for untruth cannot be mistaken for Truth. The law of Truth is merely understood to mean that we must speak the truth. But we understand the word in much wider sense. There should be Truth in thought, Truth in speech, and Truth in action.
[From the book, "Light of India or Message of Mahatmaji" by M. S. Deshpande.]
Today I am continuing with job applications, with a break for someone's 90th birthday cake and the Idaho Watercolor Society's welcome dinner, with a more humble attitude. My friend that went back to Bellingham, Washington worked for a guy here in Boise, who has more work this month. I called him and he is back in town on Thursday, so hopefully we can meet later this week. Tomorrow I am letting myself paint.
Sunday, January 9, 2011
Failed Experiment and Inspiration
The insides of the kitchen cabinets are even cold. I've learned to warm up the coffee cup with hot water before pouring coffee in it, otherwise by the time I add milk to my hot coffee it is lukewarm. When it is really cold (below 20 degrees) I leave the cabinet door under the sink open to keep the pipes below the sink from freezing.
Cruiser was overweight, now he is just plain fat. I have to admit that he is really whiny about the cold and I tend to feed him to shut him up, but that is going to have to stop soon. The idea of Cruiser whining through a diet while we are all cooped up from the cold is pretty daunting, though.
I stole a half used watercolor block of 140 pound hot press watercolor paper from Dad and tried an experiment with it this week. I had somehow intimidated myself with the idea, so I finally had to start it firth thing in the morning this week before I could think about it too much. I made good progress on it yesterday, but I just hate the result. I tried doing a painting of my cats as kittens for my possible children's book and I don't know if it is the terrible composition, the leaning towards sentimental fuzzy kitten illustration, or my dislike for having to work differently on hot press paper. On hot press paper I can't work wet to wet, the water just beads up, and I can't layer like I usually do, so the color looks too flat to me. I went ahead an finished the experiment this morning, but I do not fell like I have time to experiment right now and I feel discouraged. Or maybe I already feel discouraged and that is reflected in the painting. I am moving on to something else today, getting back on the horse after being thrown, so to speak.
Every once in a while I check my blog stats. I was a bit mystified that my post with the 2nd largest audience was "Light Bulbs" and the only post commented on by someone I do not know was "Chaos is almost here." The post with the largest audience was "Registered to Vote." It was October and I can kind of understand why people cared about registering to vote, but why did so many people care about light bulbs? Why did someone comment on a post on my blog that had not much to do with what I usually write about and how did he find the post? (It's not like I have a huge readership.) So, I learned the other day that people have reverse searches set up on-line. They set up the topics and the search engine sends them an email of the link for everyone that posts anything on that topic. Then they must go in and check up on what you wrote and try to discredit anything they don't like. Pretty creepy, eh?
The next enlightenment topic is Inspiration, with a poem called IF by Rudyard Kipling,
If
If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or, being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;
If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with triumph and disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with wornout tools;
If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on";
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch;
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run -
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man my son!
I guess Kipling wrote poems to his son, but I'm having a bit of trouble with all this good information leading me to be a Man. Otherwise I am surprised at all of the inspiration in this poem, that I have never read. I am also surprised that I like the author's suggestion on using this poem in your life. (I usually don't.) He says, "keep your head, trust yourself, be honest, be a dreamer, be detached, be a risk-taker, be independent, be humble, be compassionate, be forgiving." Many of these things seem impossible to do simultaneously, but I think that is the point, you need to be all of them.
Cruiser was overweight, now he is just plain fat. I have to admit that he is really whiny about the cold and I tend to feed him to shut him up, but that is going to have to stop soon. The idea of Cruiser whining through a diet while we are all cooped up from the cold is pretty daunting, though.
I stole a half used watercolor block of 140 pound hot press watercolor paper from Dad and tried an experiment with it this week. I had somehow intimidated myself with the idea, so I finally had to start it firth thing in the morning this week before I could think about it too much. I made good progress on it yesterday, but I just hate the result. I tried doing a painting of my cats as kittens for my possible children's book and I don't know if it is the terrible composition, the leaning towards sentimental fuzzy kitten illustration, or my dislike for having to work differently on hot press paper. On hot press paper I can't work wet to wet, the water just beads up, and I can't layer like I usually do, so the color looks too flat to me. I went ahead an finished the experiment this morning, but I do not fell like I have time to experiment right now and I feel discouraged. Or maybe I already feel discouraged and that is reflected in the painting. I am moving on to something else today, getting back on the horse after being thrown, so to speak.
Every once in a while I check my blog stats. I was a bit mystified that my post with the 2nd largest audience was "Light Bulbs" and the only post commented on by someone I do not know was "Chaos is almost here." The post with the largest audience was "Registered to Vote." It was October and I can kind of understand why people cared about registering to vote, but why did so many people care about light bulbs? Why did someone comment on a post on my blog that had not much to do with what I usually write about and how did he find the post? (It's not like I have a huge readership.) So, I learned the other day that people have reverse searches set up on-line. They set up the topics and the search engine sends them an email of the link for everyone that posts anything on that topic. Then they must go in and check up on what you wrote and try to discredit anything they don't like. Pretty creepy, eh?
The next enlightenment topic is Inspiration, with a poem called IF by Rudyard Kipling,
If
If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or, being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;
If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with triumph and disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with wornout tools;
If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on";
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch;
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run -
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man my son!
I guess Kipling wrote poems to his son, but I'm having a bit of trouble with all this good information leading me to be a Man. Otherwise I am surprised at all of the inspiration in this poem, that I have never read. I am also surprised that I like the author's suggestion on using this poem in your life. (I usually don't.) He says, "keep your head, trust yourself, be honest, be a dreamer, be detached, be a risk-taker, be independent, be humble, be compassionate, be forgiving." Many of these things seem impossible to do simultaneously, but I think that is the point, you need to be all of them.
Thursday, January 6, 2011
It is Still Cold
I went to pull up the outdoor mat and it was frozen to the ground. I ripped it up and tried to shake it off, but it was too stiff, so I dropped it a few times on the ground and it hit like I dropped a board. It is so cold here, even the horses are wearing coats,
Dad sent cloisonne hummingbird ornaments for Christmas,
Even if they were on time for Christmas, they would not have made it onto the tree, because I took it down so early. I have some branches in a vase and they are hanging on the branches for now, trying to perk up Winter.
I went back to the Bird of Prey Museum, but it was really too cold to enjoy. I bought a membership, so I can go back when it is warmer. This is a peregrine falcon,
This falcon is almost blind, which is why he's there, and he did not mind the flash. And what are these? Starlings? They were making an incredible racket,
I finished True Grit, the book. The movie is fairly true to the book, but the movie left out some things I thought were important to Mattie's character and showed her independence. At 14 she already keeps her father's books and she ends up owning a bank, which is one reason why she never marries, and the movie leaves that out. Now I finally started the book, Reading Lolita in Tehran, that Dad bought me years ago. I was going to start Far From the Maddening Crowd, that Dave gave me even longer ago, but it sounded pessimistic and January in Idaho is not a good time for a pessimistic book.
2011 is the Chinese year of the Rabbit. It is not predicted to be a good year for me. I am a Black/Metal Tiger. This is a Metal Rabbit year. The animals have elements, too, based on your birth year. Rabbits don't like Tigers, probably because Tigers eat them, and Chinese astrology likes complimentary elements, it's all about balance, so Metal Tiger in Metal Rabbit year is too much metal. Next year has good fortune for me, it is a dragon year, good for tigers, but I have one more year of hard work, at least according to Chinese astrology. My lucky element is earth/soil, which means it is the element needed to balance out my other elements. That is why I need to have a yard and a garden and felt like I was going to die going through the whole day without my feet ever touching the ground or my hands getting dirty. At least here in Idaho I have added more earth to my life.
2011 Chinese Astrology - Year of the White Rabbit
http://www.chineseastrologyonline.com/ChineseAstrology2011.htm
I called my friend in Bellingham, Washington about working for the guy she worked for here for the month of January and I should be able to catch up with her tomorrow. Idaho is not posting any new jobs that apply to me, so this weekend I am applying on-line at St. Luke's and St. Al's (both big hospitals), since both have part time office and tech support kind-of jobs. I went by CostCo to pick up a few things and everyone working at the one here looks pretty happy. I know someone that worked at CostCo in CA and liked it, so I may apply there, maybe they will let me make cakes or work in HR. Maybe it would be better to leave government anyway.
Tonight was the Artist's Way meeting and tomorrow night is First Friday in Eagle and I will probably go again. Next Tuesday is the Idaho Watercolor Society's newcomer's dinner. This weekend I am also feeding my neighbor's cats. If the weather stays clear, next week I may take a trip up to McCall to take pictures of horses and farms in snow.
Dad sent cloisonne hummingbird ornaments for Christmas,
Even if they were on time for Christmas, they would not have made it onto the tree, because I took it down so early. I have some branches in a vase and they are hanging on the branches for now, trying to perk up Winter.
I went back to the Bird of Prey Museum, but it was really too cold to enjoy. I bought a membership, so I can go back when it is warmer. This is a peregrine falcon,
This falcon is almost blind, which is why he's there, and he did not mind the flash. And what are these? Starlings? They were making an incredible racket,
I finished True Grit, the book. The movie is fairly true to the book, but the movie left out some things I thought were important to Mattie's character and showed her independence. At 14 she already keeps her father's books and she ends up owning a bank, which is one reason why she never marries, and the movie leaves that out. Now I finally started the book, Reading Lolita in Tehran, that Dad bought me years ago. I was going to start Far From the Maddening Crowd, that Dave gave me even longer ago, but it sounded pessimistic and January in Idaho is not a good time for a pessimistic book.
2011 is the Chinese year of the Rabbit. It is not predicted to be a good year for me. I am a Black/Metal Tiger. This is a Metal Rabbit year. The animals have elements, too, based on your birth year. Rabbits don't like Tigers, probably because Tigers eat them, and Chinese astrology likes complimentary elements, it's all about balance, so Metal Tiger in Metal Rabbit year is too much metal. Next year has good fortune for me, it is a dragon year, good for tigers, but I have one more year of hard work, at least according to Chinese astrology. My lucky element is earth/soil, which means it is the element needed to balance out my other elements. That is why I need to have a yard and a garden and felt like I was going to die going through the whole day without my feet ever touching the ground or my hands getting dirty. At least here in Idaho I have added more earth to my life.
2011 Chinese Astrology - Year of the White Rabbit
http://www.chineseastrologyonline.com/ChineseAstrology2011.htm
I called my friend in Bellingham, Washington about working for the guy she worked for here for the month of January and I should be able to catch up with her tomorrow. Idaho is not posting any new jobs that apply to me, so this weekend I am applying on-line at St. Luke's and St. Al's (both big hospitals), since both have part time office and tech support kind-of jobs. I went by CostCo to pick up a few things and everyone working at the one here looks pretty happy. I know someone that worked at CostCo in CA and liked it, so I may apply there, maybe they will let me make cakes or work in HR. Maybe it would be better to leave government anyway.
Tonight was the Artist's Way meeting and tomorrow night is First Friday in Eagle and I will probably go again. Next Tuesday is the Idaho Watercolor Society's newcomer's dinner. This weekend I am also feeding my neighbor's cats. If the weather stays clear, next week I may take a trip up to McCall to take pictures of horses and farms in snow.
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Too Cold and Work
No need for ice during winter here in Boise, really good ice cold water comes right from the tap. Even the Idaho native grocery checker was complaining this morning about the cold. She agreed with me that there could at least be snow on the ground if it was going to be this cold so it would look pretty. It's been 10 degrees below normal and has not reached 30 degrees for a week and I'm tired of it. I have to admit the cold is affecting my discipline and motivation.
Probably because I licensed my own business, I received a solicitation from the National Association of Professional Women. If you receive one, it is a scam. If you make the mistake of sending them a response with your phone number before you find out it is a scam, like I did, be sure not to send them any money. The solicitation says free membership, which it is not.
Next film was Secretariat. It's not an award winner, but I cried through half of the movie. Horses mixed with following your heart or your dreams was too much for me. Then, How to Tame Your Dragon, which was a nicely animated film with a good story. I had trouble with the dragon main character, which most of the time looked like a fish to me, but I loved all the dragon drawings at the end.
The next enlightenment topic is Work, with an excerpt from The Prophet by Kahlil Gibran,
"Then a ploughman said, Speak to us of Work.
And he answered, saying:
You work that you may keep pace with
the earth and the soul of the earth.
For to be idle is to become a stranger
unto the seasons, and to step out of life's
procession, that marches in majesty and
proud submission towards the infinite.
When you work you are a flute through
whose heart the whispering of the hours
turns to music.
Which of you would be a reed, dumb and
silent, when all else sings together in unison?
Always you have been told that work is
a curse and labour a misfortune.
But I say to you that when you work
you fulfil a part of earth's furthest dream,
assigned to you when the dream was born,
And in keeping yourself with labour you
are in truth loving life,
And to love life through labour is to be
intimate with life's innermost secret.
But if in your pain you would call birth an
affliction and the support of the flesh a curse
written upon your brow, than I answer
that naught but the sweat of your brow
shall wash away that which is written.
You have been told that life is darkness,
and in your weariness you echo what
was said by the weary.
And I say that life is indeed a darkness
save when there is urge,
And all urge is blind save when there is knowledge,
And all knowledge is vain save when there is work,
And all work is empty save when there is love;
And when you work with love you bind
yourself to yourself, and to one another,
and to God.
And what is it to work with love?
It is to weave the cloth with threads
drawn from your own heart, even as if your
beloved were to wear that cloth.
It is to build a house with affection, even
as if your beloved were to dwell in that house.
It is to sow seeds with tenderness and reap
the harvest with joy, even as if your beloved
were to eat the fruit.
It is to charge all things you fashion with
a breath of your own spirit,
And to know that all the blessed dead
are standing about you and watching.
Often have I heard you say, as if speaking
in sleep, "He who works in marble, and
finds the shape of his own soul in the stone,
is nobler that he who ploughs the soil.
And he who seizes the rainbow to lay it
on a cloth in the likeness of man, is more
than he who makes the sandals for our feet."
But I say, not in sleep but in the over-
wakefulness of noontide, that the wind
speaks not more sweetly to the giant oaks
than to the least of all the blades of grass;
And he alone is great who turns the voice
of the wind into a song made sweeter by
his own loving.
Work is love made visible."
The author of Wisdom of the Ages reduces this poem to three lines. The above is most of the poem, although I cut off the end after, "Work is love made visible." I love The Prophet and am supremely annoyed to have one of Gibran's poems reduced down to three lines in a book that is supposed to include appreciating poetry, but maybe that is partly because this is a touchy subject for me today.
How many of us go to jobs every day that we hate? Is having a job that you love, or doing work that you love, a luxury? I got my first job at 16 so I could get that car and then I needed the job to afford the car, and so it began. I loved my job at Westwood Studios, it never really felt like a job and I never set the alarm in the morning and I never checked the clock at work. My favorite job was my mural painting job, although that was partly because I never saw my boss.
I suppose if I was a good Buddhist I would do every job with love, or at least mindfully, but hey, some jobs just suck and the best you can do is your best while still holding on to your soul. If you do not like your work, the author points out you have two choices, change what you are doing, or change how you feel about what you are doing. Boy, I already heard that a whole lot. I think the best I did in a job I hated was to find some humility. Once humility turned into humiliation it was time to go.
You do what you have to do in order to survive. I learned enough humility to go find any job today that will help me pay the rent and stay here. But if work is love made visible, then my painting is my work, and it needs to make me an income. But then, I need to be practical, I need to get out there and maybe one thing will lead to another, oh no, I already did the humility lesson, I don't want to do it again, round and round I go.
Probably because I licensed my own business, I received a solicitation from the National Association of Professional Women. If you receive one, it is a scam. If you make the mistake of sending them a response with your phone number before you find out it is a scam, like I did, be sure not to send them any money. The solicitation says free membership, which it is not.
Next film was Secretariat. It's not an award winner, but I cried through half of the movie. Horses mixed with following your heart or your dreams was too much for me. Then, How to Tame Your Dragon, which was a nicely animated film with a good story. I had trouble with the dragon main character, which most of the time looked like a fish to me, but I loved all the dragon drawings at the end.
The next enlightenment topic is Work, with an excerpt from The Prophet by Kahlil Gibran,
"Then a ploughman said, Speak to us of Work.
And he answered, saying:
You work that you may keep pace with
the earth and the soul of the earth.
For to be idle is to become a stranger
unto the seasons, and to step out of life's
procession, that marches in majesty and
proud submission towards the infinite.
When you work you are a flute through
whose heart the whispering of the hours
turns to music.
Which of you would be a reed, dumb and
silent, when all else sings together in unison?
Always you have been told that work is
a curse and labour a misfortune.
But I say to you that when you work
you fulfil a part of earth's furthest dream,
assigned to you when the dream was born,
And in keeping yourself with labour you
are in truth loving life,
And to love life through labour is to be
intimate with life's innermost secret.
But if in your pain you would call birth an
affliction and the support of the flesh a curse
written upon your brow, than I answer
that naught but the sweat of your brow
shall wash away that which is written.
You have been told that life is darkness,
and in your weariness you echo what
was said by the weary.
And I say that life is indeed a darkness
save when there is urge,
And all urge is blind save when there is knowledge,
And all knowledge is vain save when there is work,
And all work is empty save when there is love;
And when you work with love you bind
yourself to yourself, and to one another,
and to God.
And what is it to work with love?
It is to weave the cloth with threads
drawn from your own heart, even as if your
beloved were to wear that cloth.
It is to build a house with affection, even
as if your beloved were to dwell in that house.
It is to sow seeds with tenderness and reap
the harvest with joy, even as if your beloved
were to eat the fruit.
It is to charge all things you fashion with
a breath of your own spirit,
And to know that all the blessed dead
are standing about you and watching.
Often have I heard you say, as if speaking
in sleep, "He who works in marble, and
finds the shape of his own soul in the stone,
is nobler that he who ploughs the soil.
And he who seizes the rainbow to lay it
on a cloth in the likeness of man, is more
than he who makes the sandals for our feet."
But I say, not in sleep but in the over-
wakefulness of noontide, that the wind
speaks not more sweetly to the giant oaks
than to the least of all the blades of grass;
And he alone is great who turns the voice
of the wind into a song made sweeter by
his own loving.
Work is love made visible."
The author of Wisdom of the Ages reduces this poem to three lines. The above is most of the poem, although I cut off the end after, "Work is love made visible." I love The Prophet and am supremely annoyed to have one of Gibran's poems reduced down to three lines in a book that is supposed to include appreciating poetry, but maybe that is partly because this is a touchy subject for me today.
How many of us go to jobs every day that we hate? Is having a job that you love, or doing work that you love, a luxury? I got my first job at 16 so I could get that car and then I needed the job to afford the car, and so it began. I loved my job at Westwood Studios, it never really felt like a job and I never set the alarm in the morning and I never checked the clock at work. My favorite job was my mural painting job, although that was partly because I never saw my boss.
I suppose if I was a good Buddhist I would do every job with love, or at least mindfully, but hey, some jobs just suck and the best you can do is your best while still holding on to your soul. If you do not like your work, the author points out you have two choices, change what you are doing, or change how you feel about what you are doing. Boy, I already heard that a whole lot. I think the best I did in a job I hated was to find some humility. Once humility turned into humiliation it was time to go.
You do what you have to do in order to survive. I learned enough humility to go find any job today that will help me pay the rent and stay here. But if work is love made visible, then my painting is my work, and it needs to make me an income. But then, I need to be practical, I need to get out there and maybe one thing will lead to another, oh no, I already did the humility lesson, I don't want to do it again, round and round I go.
Monday, January 3, 2011
Boise Sunset on Snow
The cats lined up in a patch of sun,
An hour later the patch of sun will move upstairs and so will the cats.
I went for a walk late yesterday afternoon. I wanted to catch the pink sunset on the snow behind Boise, which only happens for a few minutes after 5 pm. I decided to walk over to the rim, past the graveyard, since I really needed to get out and walk around. I'm glad I decided at the last minute to take my warmest hat, because I can't begin to tell you how cold I was. This is the old Boise train depot,
Near the depot they built these ugly houses,
The train doesn't run much anymore, but I still would not want to live in one of these.
These shots are about 10 minutes apart and don't nearly do the scene justice,
These failed luxury condos have this view,
These must be on some expensive real estate and they are completely empty with a chain link fence around the property.
It was my legs that were cold, maybe caused by the bottom of my coat flapping against my thighs while I walked and creating a breeze. I started dreaming about flannel lined pants and wondered if a shorter jacket would have been better. I hurried home after taking the pictures, partly because I was cold and partly because Mary Kay told me not to walk past the graveyard at night.
My legs were still tingling after being home and inside for a hour and the walk in the cold completely wore me out. I ate a big dinner, the cold makes me really hungry, too, watched the end of The Stand on TV, took a hot bath, got in bed and read my book until I fell asleep before 10. No one ever accused me of being a night owl.
An hour later the patch of sun will move upstairs and so will the cats.
I went for a walk late yesterday afternoon. I wanted to catch the pink sunset on the snow behind Boise, which only happens for a few minutes after 5 pm. I decided to walk over to the rim, past the graveyard, since I really needed to get out and walk around. I'm glad I decided at the last minute to take my warmest hat, because I can't begin to tell you how cold I was. This is the old Boise train depot,
Near the depot they built these ugly houses,
The train doesn't run much anymore, but I still would not want to live in one of these.
These shots are about 10 minutes apart and don't nearly do the scene justice,
These failed luxury condos have this view,
These must be on some expensive real estate and they are completely empty with a chain link fence around the property.
It was my legs that were cold, maybe caused by the bottom of my coat flapping against my thighs while I walked and creating a breeze. I started dreaming about flannel lined pants and wondered if a shorter jacket would have been better. I hurried home after taking the pictures, partly because I was cold and partly because Mary Kay told me not to walk past the graveyard at night.
My legs were still tingling after being home and inside for a hour and the walk in the cold completely wore me out. I ate a big dinner, the cold makes me really hungry, too, watched the end of The Stand on TV, took a hot bath, got in bed and read my book until I fell asleep before 10. No one ever accused me of being a night owl.
Saturday, January 1, 2011
Happy New Year!
Kimber sent some pictures from Winter Garden A Glow, that is Kimber in the tall hat, Christelle is on my right in the first picture,
I thought that Sacajawea looked very strange so over sized and with such a big head. Anyway, that is the cross all lit up on top of Table Rock in the background. Trying to take these pictures inspired Kimber to get a new camera.
Yesterday morning when I went to the store it was 13 degrees. Right now it is 9 degrees. I went out to meet some friends yesterday at noon, but they could not convince me to go out last night. Even at noon yesterday it was too cold to stand in the shade and talk, forget about going out once it gets dark and driving around with all of the amateur drunk drivers. I stayed in and did my inventory, a gratitude list, my goals for 2011, and watched Black Swan.
I figured I would rather end the year with the Black Swan than start the year with it. I'm still not sure if the movie was about schizophrenia or a dancer becoming too much the part. Barbara Hershey played Natalie Portman's mom and I kept wondering what happened to Barbara Hershey's face? Her collagen lips are trimmed down, but her chin is all lumpy. It was another well acted, well crafted film, but very dark.
It was fun to do an inventory on a good year for a change. The dramatic change in my life and myself in a year is remarkable to me. My very favorite part of the year was July with Dad at his ranch. One of my goals for 2010 was to finish 12 paintings and I completed that goal in the month of July alone. In the year, I painted 25 paintings, although most of them were studies. I learned to enjoy painting landscapes, which I did not used to like. I learned how to change my life and move in a planned, thoughtful manner, rather than as running away. I learned how to make new friends while still cherishing the old ones. My friend overheard a conversation I had yesterday and afterward she described me as tactful. Tactful! Me? Ah, that is progress. I am not going to put everything down again here, but it was a wonderful year.
After the inventory, I wrote a gratitude list. Again, this is easy to do after writing an inventory on a good year. I remember the times I wrote a gratitude list and could barely think of anything to write, so I just kept writing the same things over and over again.
Then I wrote a list of 2011 goals and a separate list of 2011 wishes. The 2011 goals list is awfully long, although many of the things on it are simple, and getting an income tops the list. I think that it is interesting that I looked at my goals/wishes list for 2010 and I could not see any indication of anything that I ended up changing in 2010. I think at that time I was so beaten down with all of the hard things I went through that I was afraid to hope for anything in particular. I suppose knowing when to find acceptance, when to try harder, and when to walk away is always a dilemma.
I am off to Kimber's this afternoon for our year-end inventory workshop and a few more hours of holiday eating, then the sugar-fest is over.
Happy New Year to all!
I thought that Sacajawea looked very strange so over sized and with such a big head. Anyway, that is the cross all lit up on top of Table Rock in the background. Trying to take these pictures inspired Kimber to get a new camera.
Yesterday morning when I went to the store it was 13 degrees. Right now it is 9 degrees. I went out to meet some friends yesterday at noon, but they could not convince me to go out last night. Even at noon yesterday it was too cold to stand in the shade and talk, forget about going out once it gets dark and driving around with all of the amateur drunk drivers. I stayed in and did my inventory, a gratitude list, my goals for 2011, and watched Black Swan.
I figured I would rather end the year with the Black Swan than start the year with it. I'm still not sure if the movie was about schizophrenia or a dancer becoming too much the part. Barbara Hershey played Natalie Portman's mom and I kept wondering what happened to Barbara Hershey's face? Her collagen lips are trimmed down, but her chin is all lumpy. It was another well acted, well crafted film, but very dark.
It was fun to do an inventory on a good year for a change. The dramatic change in my life and myself in a year is remarkable to me. My very favorite part of the year was July with Dad at his ranch. One of my goals for 2010 was to finish 12 paintings and I completed that goal in the month of July alone. In the year, I painted 25 paintings, although most of them were studies. I learned to enjoy painting landscapes, which I did not used to like. I learned how to change my life and move in a planned, thoughtful manner, rather than as running away. I learned how to make new friends while still cherishing the old ones. My friend overheard a conversation I had yesterday and afterward she described me as tactful. Tactful! Me? Ah, that is progress. I am not going to put everything down again here, but it was a wonderful year.
After the inventory, I wrote a gratitude list. Again, this is easy to do after writing an inventory on a good year. I remember the times I wrote a gratitude list and could barely think of anything to write, so I just kept writing the same things over and over again.
Then I wrote a list of 2011 goals and a separate list of 2011 wishes. The 2011 goals list is awfully long, although many of the things on it are simple, and getting an income tops the list. I think that it is interesting that I looked at my goals/wishes list for 2010 and I could not see any indication of anything that I ended up changing in 2010. I think at that time I was so beaten down with all of the hard things I went through that I was afraid to hope for anything in particular. I suppose knowing when to find acceptance, when to try harder, and when to walk away is always a dilemma.
I am off to Kimber's this afternoon for our year-end inventory workshop and a few more hours of holiday eating, then the sugar-fest is over.
Happy New Year to all!
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