Retirement check is here! Now I can plan! Now this crazy idea can become a reality! Now I'm wondering what in the world I was thinking again.
I took the cats to the vet last Monday to get their shots. (Thanks for the reminder, Darcy!) Their shots were well out of date, this is something you cut out when you are poor, and now that they are going outside in the country they should have up to date shots. Although the vet was really fast, so fast I almost wondered if they gave them shots since they took them away to do it and I did not see it happen, this includes a 25 minute car ride to town one way. I put the cats in their carriers and did the drive with crying cats and tried not to think about the 16 hour drive to Boise.
At the same time, someone came to look to buy Dad's ranch. I had to clean up, take the cats to the vet, bring them back and clean them up, and then get out for an hour and a half. This made me miss my own space. The looker appears to be pretty interested, but has to sell their house on the market for 9 million. I guess my Dad's for 2.4 million is a pittance to some.
So, there is a spiritual side to choosing Boise to live.
I felt a great deal of anxiety at the beginning of the year. I could not relate it to something that happened or that I anticipated would happen and it lasted for months. The only thing I could think of was that, in response to me whining about my noisy upstairs neighbor, my friend told me I always have problems with a neighbor, which is mostly true, and I wondered why this always happens with me. I even went to the doctor, to rule out any physical reason for the anxiety, and nothing was wrong.
Then my brother Dave gave me a 1/2 hour with a psychic for my birthday in March and I asked her about the anxiety I was feeling. Now, I don't know about psychics, but I figured it would be fun and worth a try, but I was expecting a "you will move to Boise and get married" kind of an answer, and instead the psychic said I have a "split." A soul split in two, one side with each parent, that happened due to some trauma when I was around 5, and she gave me all these things to do to make my soul whole again. She did not say why the split was suddenly getting so difficult for me.
There was much to this idea that made sense to me, so I followed one of her suggestions and I did a soul retrieval with an aspiring Shaman at my Dad's ranch in April. This was a bit trippy and I have never heard such a racket from birds chirping and squawking in my life and as soon as the drum or the chanting stopped, complete silence. So, I did not see Boise, but I met a noble woman from the middle ages with a falcon and I met the falcon, which was white with some gray.
I went on my road trip to Boise based on my practical reasons, but when there I went to the Bird of Prey museum, which is great fun and includes an entrance full of artwork of birds of prey, and there is a book on falcons, with the one I met on the cover. It was a Gyrfalcon. In medieval times, the white phase variant of the Gyrfalcon was reserved for the king with the most clout and in North America, falcons are seen as messengers between humans and the spirit world. As totems, the falcon means strength, independence, superiority, and fortunate hunting. I figured at least the soul retrieval must have worked. The Gyrfalcon is not native to Idaho, but I felt like I was in the right place.
Now, when is a phone call a sign, and when is it just a phone call? Is it a sign, or just what you want to see? I had been painting in all my spare time, being my spiritual self mostly at home in private, and in the rest of my life my soul was dying. Maybe the anxiety is my soul fighting to live. As soon as I acknowledged this, the anxiety went away. I came back from my road trip to Boise positive that I needed to leave California, and Boise would work. Not until I had a chance to step back from my old life in this perfect, artistically inspiring environment, could I see what I am meant to do, my inspiration, and I feel whole.
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