The Market

Sorry for the delay, I got busy yesterday having a spiritual experience.

Vital Statistics sent a no thank you letter last week with a bit of a weird reason. The agency that I interviewed with for two jobs sent a no thank you email last Friday afternoon.

Thursday night I called the Department of Labor guy and I talked to him Friday morning about the issues I think I may have with my references. I think I may meet with him again to show him my reviews, but he mostly provided a much needed pep talk. I provided copies of my reviews in lieu of references, but I did that in a hurry, so I did not read them. Once I read them on Friday, I realized there are some issues with those, too. I called the people that sent me no thank yous and left messages asking if they could let me know what I could do better or differently. Then I went into a spin.

I realize my experience at my last job really was as bad as I thought and I'm thinking these last jobs I interviewed for may have been more of the same. I learned there are some issues with my references. I'm hoping that is to let me know that is an issue and to fix it before that right job comes up. My work experience over the last ten years looks like a steady downhill career slide and I thought about how I am going to make that stop.

So, I went out on Saturday morning with a pretty bad attitude. For the last few weeks, I have been asking for a guide to help me follow up on that soul retrieval. I am starting to feel lost about why I am here in Idaho and how that relates to my career path. So, Saturday morning, there she was. I'm not going to get into that experience now, and I am still sorting out what I heard, but let me tell you, if you are asking for something or praying for an answer, you can still hear it even when you have a really bad attitude.

In the middle of this experience, I went to Boise's Saturday market that started up again yesterday,







The Market is two blocks in a T with a big circular courtyard at one end. In the courtyard are the arts and crafts booths, which are mostly the same as ones I saw at Art in the Park last September. I bought Mom and Dad's Christmas presents at Art in the Park from the same ceramics guy. The Market starts at 9:30 and I was there around noon and the pie lady was sold out. The local honey booth was also sold out of everything but the $34 gallon jugs, so I will go back next week and get there early. They also had cinnamon honey, and wow, that sounded really good. With the washboard and the baby in tow, the singing couple made me feel like it was 1934.

The We Art Women reception was last Thursday and I went and stayed for an hour or so, but it really was not my crowd. When I first got there, I ran in to a photographer that I met at the Eagle gallery. When I first got to The Market, I ran in to her again. I told her we must have some common purpose, but in the meantime, she was the one that suggested where to take a picture that might show off the size of The Market. Not too long before I left the We Art Women reception I met another woman that introduced herself. The artists in the show were wearing badges and it turns out she and I were the only landscape artists, and the only not-modern artists, in the show. She thought the other landscape artist might be me because I was wearing a cotton turtleneck. I guess modern artists don't wear cotton turtlenecks, not flamboyant enough. She and her husband are also recently here from California and we exchanged numbers.

Today I have Artist Way homework and I have to go back and read all the writing I did almost every day since last December. Fortunately, this goes perfectly with the work the guide gave me yesterday. Weird, eh?

I do not know what is in store, but my feelings of fear and desperation are gone for today.

Cliffhanger

This is the very high Boise River about a mile from my house,




There are usually fishermen at this spot, they stand in the middle of the river on that ridge that you can now barely see, but no fishermen today.

United Water Idaho’s flushing program begins April 11. Every spring, Idaho Water will be flushing the mains throughout Boise to clear any iron and manganese buildup. These will not affect your health, but make the water unclear. After living in So Cal with constant drought, it is funny to me all the things Idaho does because they have so much water.

There are peregrine falcons that use a nest box on the 14th floor of One Capital Center in Boise. At the Bird of Prey museum you can see them on a webcam. They had their first egg last Thursday and their second on Saturday. You can watch, too,

http://www.peregrinefund.org/falconcam/

When I was here at the end of last May, I watched mom leave and dad come in to take her place. The chicks hatched, but their parents would not allow them to walk around yet, and dad came in, sat on them, and made sure he tucked the chicks underneath him. Dad came in to help, but even a falcon can convey a begrudging attitude on webcam.

I feel like my two month bailout just allowed me to go through an 11th hour panic again. I stayed up to late Sunday night watching "The Killing" and then I could not sleep at all Monday night. By Tuesday morning I was a tired, stressed mess and could not get myself to do much. I called one potential employer and left a message asking for status and tried to sound really willing instead of really desperate. They called back later and said there seems to be an issue with my work references and they asked for copies of my reviews. I dropped those off Tuesday afternoon. That they asked for copies of my reviews is a hopeful sign, but I am having a really hard time not imagining what may be going on behind the scenes against me that is out of my control.

There is a Zen Buddhist story that to me is the equivalent of the wheelbarrow story,

A man was walking across a field when he saw a tiger. Fearing for his life, the man fled, but the tiger gave chase. The man reached the edge of a cliff, and just as he thought the tiger would get him, he spotted a vine growing over the edge of the cliff. Grabbing on to it, he swung himself over the edge to safety.

The tiger came to the edge and snarled at him from above. While precariously perched like this, the man saw another tiger growling at him from below. Trembling, he held on to the thin vine that was keeping him from being dinner for the tigers. What could be worse than this, he wondered.

Just then, two mice scampered out and began gnawing at the vine. As they chewed and the man pondered over his fate, he saw a juicy, red strawberry on a ledge next to him. Grasping the vine with one hand, he plucked the strawberry with the other. Ah, how sweet it tasted!

By now I am having a hard time even functioning, so in keeping with the idea of enjoying the strawberry, I walked around and took pictures of Boise's spring flowers,





The red tulips were blooming next to another one of Boise's many empty houses.

Charlotte Joko Beck would tell me that the opposite of injustice is not justice, but compassion. (Nothing Special, Living Zen) She would also tell me to notice my thoughts and experience my bodily contractions, which would illuminate my bottleneck of fear. By noticing and experiencing the bottleneck of fear, I can see that the bottleneck of fear is an illusion, and I do not need to struggle against an illusion. (Everyday Zen) She would call what I am experiencing today an opportunity to move through the bottleneck of fear and closer to my true self. If I said it is too hard, she would ask me if I really had any other choice.

If I hear about that job today, I will post again.

Still Waiting

The sun came out for a few hours on Saturday and Spit worked on improving her digestion and Cruiser got some sun,



Cruiser made me wish I come back in my next life as a cat with a great owner like me.

A local community theater, that my neighbor suggested last year as a place to go, found a permanent home down the street. They will not move there until next year, but it cracks me up that next year I could walk a block to go to the theater, here in back woods town Boise, Idaho. I am going to go to their production next month of "Always…Patsy Cline.” This is a musical that includes 27 Patsy Cline songs, including “Crazy,” “I Fall to Pieces,” “Sweet Dreams,” and “Walking After Midnight.” I love Patsy Cline. I used to have a CD of her greatest hits, or was it a tape? I think someone borrowed it and didn't give it back.

Thursday night I have two paintings in a show called "We Art Women." It is just a one night fundraiser event for the Women's and Children's Alliance of Boise, but they accepted the "Cowboys" study and the "Hawthorn Berries" and I'm counting it as a networking event. I do not think I will participate again, the art is for sale with a percentage going to the charity, they are selling food, beer, and wine, and they are asking for a $20 tax deductible donation at the door. I think that is way over the top to ask people for that kind of a "donation" and then expect them to buy their food and drinks and then buy art, too.

The second person in two days told me that they are about to walk away from their house. I am shocked that it has been almost three years since I sold mine in a short sale and the housing problem is worse. I am grateful that I got mine sold, since the people I'm hearing today have no hope of selling theirs, and I am grateful to have some experience in this area to share.

Mom sent me a new Summer shirt. Thanks, Mom! In another week I should be able to wear it.

I am trying to pretend that this is the last week I will be unemployed and I should take advantage of it, but this does not seem to be working. I did do my taxes today. I owe the State of California $4 and the Feds owe me almost a $1000 refund! Only problem is that the Feds will take my refund and apply it to what I still owe for past years. It was a big relief not to owe taxes I can't pay for a change.

The State of California administrative law judge sent my unemployment denial letter. I was not surprised, since the appeal phone call did not go well. I wish that judge and the County HR rep that was part of the phone call the first hand opportunity to find out how much it costs to live in an apartment in California. My point was that the financial hardship of an increased mandatory retirement deduction of $255 per month was my good cause for quitting my job, but in my appeal I added that I felt I was unable to promote due to discrimination. I did feel that, but I wish that I had just let that go and left my Ventura County experience behind me. When the judge asked the County HR rep how much a one bedroom apartment would cost in Oxnard, I knew the call was a waste of time. The County HR rep thought a one bedroom apartment in Oxnard would cost $800 to $900. Really? If there is such a thing, would he feel comfortable with his single daughter living there by herself? It is amazing that I could not get by on a decent salary in California, but it is true. It is amazing that someone with five years of experience and a Master's degree cannot promote above an hourly employee and I do not really understand why, but that is true, too. I wish I was not so desperate in February to appeal the unemployment denial, because now I am worrying about other people's opinion of me and that is out of my control.

On a final note, AMC's "The Killing" is pretty good. AMC is doing really well with their series, but I was going to avoid this one because it seemed too dark. Considering how I'm feeling lately it seemed like a good idea to stay away from anything dark. I started to watch a repeat of the premier and noticed that it is based on a Danish series and even though it is set in Seattle, it has that moody, bleak, quiet tone that is purely Scandinavian, which I like. I have no idea who killed Rosie Larsen, but there are 10 more episodes to go and I am hooked.

On Children

One interview for two jobs with four people was grueling. With all of my practice interviewing I don't worry about the interview much, but after all that interviewing with no resulting job it is difficult now not to doubt myself. These were both lower level temporary jobs through September, but they seem to have a great deal of potential for advancement and permanence. They both start April 18 and include full benefits, including dental, so if I get a job with the state I will put off the dental appointment I made.

Even here the dentist would be $219 for a cleaning, x-rays, and exam. I think it's been about four years since I've been to the dentist, except to repair a painful cracked filling with a cavity and Mom paid for that trip. People living on the edge from paycheck to paycheck do not have $219 for the dentist, just like they do not have the means to buy a more fuel efficient car, unless they have a Mom with an extra one. Idaho must have realized their gas prices were below average and the price jumped again yesterday to $3.57. Or maybe the increase was due to our current President's callous remarks making it clear he wants the price of gas to go much higher.

There were only three of us at the Artist's Way and we are all restless. One's heater went out and one's house purchase is falling through. She was buying a house for $129,000 and the appraisal came through at $101,000. The house was a flip and the price seems to have been based on what the seller wanted and not reality. This same kind of appraiser discrepancy was happening in CA before I left, no one really knows how much any house is worth today and I'm glad I decided not to be an appraiser. Anyway, I was feeling personal unrest, weather unrest, and world unrest and those feelings seem to be going around.

I am avoiding the next few topics from Wisdom of the Ages because I do not like the quotes, so today I am just including one of my favorites. I may have included this one before, but the topic of children came up and I like the sentiment in Kahlil Gibran's "On Children" from The Prophet,

"Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your children
as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
and He bends you with His might
that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable."

I feel better about things when there is something I can do. I am fine when I am taking actions, but dealing with situations where there is nothing more I can do makes me nuts. One more week and Boise high temperatures should be back in the 70's. That will help. Maybe I will have a job by next week. That will help, too.

Waiting

The crocus are done blooming, but now that they are just leaves they are the cat's preferred grazing material in the yard. I tried to shoo them away from chewing the crocus leaves, because I wasn't sure if they were poisonous, but they were determined. I guess there is an Autumn blooming variety that is really poisonous, but I could not find anything about Spring blooming crocus leaves. I has been a few days and my cats are still alive.

I bought my blueberry bush a blueberry friend that I am going to plant it a pot. Before I bought the pot, I thought I would check what kinds do best in freezing weather. Glad I checked, not terracotta. The terracotta pot will either absorb water and then freeze, or the wet soil in the pot will expand as it freezes, both will crack the pot. Ceramic pots are not much better. So, unless you can move the pots to a warmer spot for Winter, the plant container should be wood, plastic, fiberglass, or cement. I thought there would be the same issue with cement as with terracotta, but on-line advice says no.

The price of gas here was holding at $3.49 for a few weeks, yesterday it jumped to $3.54. The price of lettuce plummeted, though. Last week it was $2 a head and I did not buy lettuce. This week it is down to $1 a head. The reasoning for the higher price was the weather. Did the weather get better in a week? Or did the radiation potential make lettuce suddenly unpopular? I don't have a problem with the price of lettuce being based on what the lettuce buyer is willing to pay, just don't tell me it's $2 because of the weather.

Idaho TV has been playing these scary commercials about how kids need to finish college for some initiative called "Idaho Go On" that threatens kids that high school is not enough. Idaho ranks high on the list of states with students who drop out of college. Part of this is based on a study, "Measuring Up 2008 Idaho Report, The National Report Card on Higher Education" which was sponsored by The National Center for Public Policy and Higher Education. The state of higher education has been in the news a few times over the last few months and I read a few of the studies on which the news is based. It is interesting that the studies are always conducted by educators with an interest in promoting college attendance and are always interpreted as a need for more money and rarely for reform. I never see any surveys of the kids' reasons for dropping out.

The weather here has been really crazy. Yesterday morning it looked like it would snow, then the sun came out, then it rained. It was supposed to snow, but it never did. This morning it looks like it will snow again. I need to learn to be more flexible and run out and do something as soon as the sun comes out and make the most of it, but I am not there yet and am honestly getting a bit loopy. My interview this afternoon turned in to one interview for two jobs and Vital Records should be done interviewing for the job I interviewed for last week and I feel like I am in waiting mode.

While I was waiting, I decided to try and get rid of stuff I have that I don't need. I took some of my grandmother's old costume jewelry to an antique store. I kept some of my favorite pieces, but I thought someone else should enjoy the rest instead of them sitting in my drawer for another 30 years. Then I took some of my old gold charms to a pawn shop. In the 70's, gold charms were big. I had one that was a shell that everyone thought was a coke spoon. I am still shocked at how much I paid for that gold versus what it is really worth. I had them look at the ring I bought myself for my 30th birthday, which was supposed to be platinum, but it turns out it is not, it is white gold. I was really ripped-off on that one and decided not to compound the rip-off by selling it. If I ever buy any jewelry again, it is going to be from a pawn shop, they seem to be more honest and their price seems to be much closer to the actual value of the piece.

A pawn shop here also seems to be a good place to buy a guitar or a bike. Must be many people thinking they wanted to play the guitar and then changing their mind. I looked at bikes, but that will take some shopping around on a warmer day.

Being in waiting mode and feeling loopy and bored and unfocused is not conducive to blog writing. Artist's Way meeting is tonight after my interview, so I hope I feel better tomorrow.

Idaho News Update

Sunday morning I tried to go to the Linen Building that has an art market every Sunday. It has been listed in the Boise Weekly for weeks, but it must not have started yet. The farmer's market doesn't reopen until a week from this Saturday. Then I tried to go to some native plants show and couldn't find it. Is Mercury in retrograde? I finally stopped at one end of the walking paths that extend for 10 miles along the river through Boise,


Still pretty brown. It was a beautiful sunny day, with a gentle breeze that was ice cold. It was a breeze, not wind, Boise doesn't really get wind, but I was still freezing. The Idaho Statesman says the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers began flood-control releases from Lucky Peak Reservoir on March 21, and they plan to increase releases this week. Officials urge the public to be cautious of the fast-moving, cold water. The temperature of the water is estimated to be about 45 degrees.

45 degrees! Don't walk too close to the river for a while.

I took some pictures of the early Spring flowers, had coffee with some friends and went home to warm up.




Also in the Idaho Statesman,

About 110 years ago, the six sons of Vicente and Josepha Echevarria travelled between the Basque Country and Boise. Five of the sons settled in Idaho and about 140 descendants of the five Echevarria brothers gathered for a family reunion at the Basque Center last Saturday. This included one of the cutest kids ever and you have to love the hat.


Read more: http://www.idahostatesman.com/2011/04/02/1590324_a1590358/echevarria-family-reunion.html#ixzz1Ib7yLHYE

The state audited the Health and Welfare Department and the department had a few issues with their switchover to a new claims system last year. There was no Medicaid provider name or number for 70,000 transactions out of 74,762 in the new system and there was no process in place to verify the data. Oops! I’ve seen job posts for several jobs to work with the new system, now I know why.

Fox News posted something about high radiation levels in Boise and Fox News has reported bogus news about Boise before, so I tried to investigate. This is an excerpt from the Idaho Statesman April 2, 2011,

… Boise’s levels were higher than any other U.S. city in the report; most U.S. cities in the study had levels of cesium and iodine 131 that were not detectable. Officials had no explanation Saturday for why Idaho would have higher levels, but said the levels that were detected were far below levels that would warrant public-health concern.

The federal drinking water limit for Iodine-131 is 3 Picocuries (pCi) per liter, and Boise, Idaho rainwater on 3/22/2011 contained 242 pCi/L of I-131. My question is that if 242 pCi/L is "far below levels that would warrant public-health concern" then why is the limit set by the EPA only 3?

When trying to research I got into a quagmire of information, from how the earthquake in Japan could have been manually induced to someone that wrote a program to interpret the raw data published by the EPA. I read enough to realize I am never going to find out the truth, no one knows what safe radiation means, and oh yea, we are talking about the EPA, the Environmental Protection Agency, those guys still holding on to the concept of global warming, oh wait, that's called climate change now, and who want to tax exhaling.

It was another unproductive weekend, with one good interview behind me and another interview scheduled this week, I hope I just needed to rest up before I get to be a working person again.

Loud Music and Another Interview

By 6 pm last night the clouds were rolling in and the sunny day was over. Today it is much colder and raining.

I don't know if it is the time change or allergies or stress, but I have not been sleeping well for the last few weeks. I came home from my interview on Wednesday and I was just exhausted and it was day four of an afternoon of loud 70's music in my house. There is my house, then my yard, then my garage, then the alley, and then my Harley-riding, karaoke-singing neighbor's yard, house, and electronics store.

This neighbor appears to have outdoor speakers pointed towards my house and prefers a 70's rock radio station playing everyone's favorites, like Creedence Clearwater Revival, Pat Benatar, and Bob Seger. What about The Clash? The Ramones? Bob Marley? All made music in the 70's that I can stand. Most of the time the music is going, but there is no one in the yard. I can hear the music over my TV and a nap is out of the question. So, Wednesday afternoon I walked over to ask the Harley-riding, karaoke-singing neighbor if we could find a music compromise. There is no one outside anywhere, so I walk in to the store and there is the Harley-rider, a younger guy that might be his son, and a woman that might be the son's wife, who is also probably the karaoke singer.

The son is very apologetic, said they were working outside and listening to the music and should have turned it off. The wife apologizes as she sweeps with her back to me, I will call her a passive-aggressive. The Harley rider, who must own the electronics store and the house, is not mean, he just doesn't get it. He also stood there holding the door and leaning way back away from me, like he thought I was going to take a swing at him. This was really odd body language that I still can't interpret. I don't think he is a bad guy, he just doesn't understand why the whole neighborhood would not enjoy his music. I asked, why am I listening to your music over my TV in my house when you are all in here not listening to it at all? He said, but it's daytime. What?

After a long enough delay to let me know that they are really in charge, the loudness of the music went way up and then off. That was Wednesday and it hasn't come back on since.

The Disability Determinations Service for the state of Idaho called me for an interview on Friday. The list for a trainee to do disability determinations was canceled because the Social Security Administration froze hiring, so the state appears to be filling the spot with a temporary clerical worker. At least that is my educated guess. The interview is Thursday. I'm hoping I get the job with Vital Records first, but it feels good to have a back-up interview.

It was so great to walk around in my bare feet on the grass and get my hands dirty planting that blueberry that I am trying to resist planting more. It is just as well that it is raining today. The University of Idaho Extension website has an abundance of information about what to grow in Idaho and how to grow it, from what varieties of berry grow best in the Boise area to how to plan an Idaho vegetable garden. There is nothing wrong with buying plants at Home Depot, but they will often have varieties of plant that do not grow in the area and it is a good idea to educate yourself. I bought the right variety of blueberry, but they are picky about soil. I may have to put the blueberry in a pot and plant a blackberry in the ground. Blueberries also like another blueberry nearby, so maybe I need another blueberry, too. See what I mean? If I had my choice and more money, there would be no grass left in my backyard.